This is how I kicked a bad habit and improved my life
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth
- Baz Leurman
One of the most valuable things I've learned is goal setting; which could also be called "temporal action mindfulness," but that would be silly. I would like to share this with you
First, I find something that I want to do (be employed in a job that I like), or I find something that I want to stop doing (staying up late).
Second, I ask, "do I really want to do this?" To answer this, I must explore what sort of things to do with my as-yet-unformed goal make me happy. I then see if this really will make me happy, and/or less unhappy.
- In terms of work, I'd learned that I don't want to be a full-time authour because it's lonely and has no teamwork to keep me motivated - which tells me that I like working in groups. I liked working for COPE because I not only got to work in a group, but I felt valued, and I could do something good for the collective. It was a little less creative, but a whole lot more enjoyable.
- In terms of staying up late, I'd learned that sleep deprivation makes me cranky.
Third, I decide on what I have to do to get there. A common stumbling block is "but I don't know how to get there," or "I don't even know how to find out what I need to do."
In this case, my first step is research. Three good resources are:
- Wikipedia
- Vancouver Public Library
- someone is doing or has done whatever it is that I want to do, or might know someone who does.
Fourth, I take another look at what my life would look like in the improved state. I consider what sort of sacrifices and alternatives this will entail. I see which parts of my geal are important to me, and which are not.
Fifth, I establish when I'd like to have the first big step (opening a business or waking up rested by 08:20) in place.
Sixth, I create a plan to get there, breaking down the long term project into a series of smaller time-specific goals, looking for, and eliminating obstacles.
- In work, I took an entrepreneur's course to both find out how to start my own business and get some practice in doing it. I then made an itemized plan for every bit of planning that would have to be in order to get the project off the ground. I then started in on each of these - registering a name, drawing up estimated costs, researching incorporation, and so on.
In response to the question of "so where's your business?" The answer is, "I decided that I liked school and working in the student union more than being an entrepreneur indramist, plus I make $208 more per month than I would with the business. Upon deciding this, I re-applied goal-setting to school and now get better marks than I used to, and now have a job that I really like"
- In sleep, I decided on having a better bedtime in place by the end of September. I drew up a point system whereby I would be awarded so many points depending on when I was in bed with the lights out.
00:30 (the goal) netted me 2 points per night. Every 15 minutes earlier was 1 extra point. 00:45 was 1 point; 01:00 was 0 points, and every 15 minutes after that lost me 2 points. I had a little money saved up, and decided that points could be redeemed for a prize. I figured that I could aim for a sleeping schedule that would net at least 10 points per week, and preferably 20. Since I had five weeks until the end of September, I set one prize at the 50-point mark, and another at the 100-point mark. I then kept track of when I was in bed with the lights out.
With tihs to motivate me, I had an extra kick to cease the sort of habits that had me up until 03:30 or later.
I am pleased to report that I now usually go to bed between 00:00 and 01:00 and wake up around 08:20.
I have also applied, or am applying, this to:
- mood disorders
- changing my sex
- finding a kink partner
- cohousing
The only question now is "what else do I want to do?"
- Baz Leurman
One of the most valuable things I've learned is goal setting; which could also be called "temporal action mindfulness," but that would be silly. I would like to share this with you
First, I find something that I want to do (be employed in a job that I like), or I find something that I want to stop doing (staying up late).
Second, I ask, "do I really want to do this?" To answer this, I must explore what sort of things to do with my as-yet-unformed goal make me happy. I then see if this really will make me happy, and/or less unhappy.
- In terms of work, I'd learned that I don't want to be a full-time authour because it's lonely and has no teamwork to keep me motivated - which tells me that I like working in groups. I liked working for COPE because I not only got to work in a group, but I felt valued, and I could do something good for the collective. It was a little less creative, but a whole lot more enjoyable.
- In terms of staying up late, I'd learned that sleep deprivation makes me cranky.
Third, I decide on what I have to do to get there. A common stumbling block is "but I don't know how to get there," or "I don't even know how to find out what I need to do."
In this case, my first step is research. Three good resources are:
- Wikipedia
- Vancouver Public Library
- someone is doing or has done whatever it is that I want to do, or might know someone who does.
Fourth, I take another look at what my life would look like in the improved state. I consider what sort of sacrifices and alternatives this will entail. I see which parts of my geal are important to me, and which are not.
Fifth, I establish when I'd like to have the first big step (opening a business or waking up rested by 08:20) in place.
Sixth, I create a plan to get there, breaking down the long term project into a series of smaller time-specific goals, looking for, and eliminating obstacles.
- In work, I took an entrepreneur's course to both find out how to start my own business and get some practice in doing it. I then made an itemized plan for every bit of planning that would have to be in order to get the project off the ground. I then started in on each of these - registering a name, drawing up estimated costs, researching incorporation, and so on.
In response to the question of "so where's your business?" The answer is, "I decided that I liked school and working in the student union more than being an entrepreneur indramist, plus I make $208 more per month than I would with the business. Upon deciding this, I re-applied goal-setting to school and now get better marks than I used to, and now have a job that I really like"
- In sleep, I decided on having a better bedtime in place by the end of September. I drew up a point system whereby I would be awarded so many points depending on when I was in bed with the lights out.
00:30 (the goal) netted me 2 points per night. Every 15 minutes earlier was 1 extra point. 00:45 was 1 point; 01:00 was 0 points, and every 15 minutes after that lost me 2 points. I had a little money saved up, and decided that points could be redeemed for a prize. I figured that I could aim for a sleeping schedule that would net at least 10 points per week, and preferably 20. Since I had five weeks until the end of September, I set one prize at the 50-point mark, and another at the 100-point mark. I then kept track of when I was in bed with the lights out.
With tihs to motivate me, I had an extra kick to cease the sort of habits that had me up until 03:30 or later.
I am pleased to report that I now usually go to bed between 00:00 and 01:00 and wake up around 08:20.
I have also applied, or am applying, this to:
- mood disorders
- changing my sex
- finding a kink partner
- cohousing
The only question now is "what else do I want to do?"