Passion and Place...
Well all, it's that wonderful time of year again when my students return. Except this year, I know what to expect. Sort of. There are so many things I should have done last year or this summer, and so many things I shouldn't have done. All I can do is continue to live daily in the light of God's grace and let go of my mistakes. All I can do is be weak and allow Him to be strong and to work out His purpose through me.
While I was at Roxbury recently, one of my favorite pastors used one of my new favorite "Christian-ese" phrases. He said that we all need to be "Jesus with SKIN-ON" and that we need to find people who for us are "Jesus with Skin-on". Hm. Since he used this phrase, I've been trying to figure out what the heck that means for me. How can I be the hands and feet of Christ in my humanness? In my sinful, weak, fallen state? How can I NOT let the things of this world get in my way when I am trying to care for my students and bring them nearer to their Lord and Savior? How can I not let the "Red tape" of PSU get in my way? I may not always do things to the best of my ability...and that is not glorifying to God. So how do I deal with it? I let it go when I mess up, let Him take charge, and do better next time. It's taken me a while to learn how to do this. And it's still hard.
It's hard for me as well to balance. It will be different this year because I know the campus folk. I just don't know lots of students yet. How can I get my energy back that I need? Prayer. Rest. Friends. But how do I balance these things? We're still working this one out.
I've also been pondering what it means to walk what I talk. I do to a point, but then there comes the point when I get tired of walking the walk. But I CAN'T....CAN'T give up pursuing the goodness of God. When I focus on Jesus 100% all the time....I can make it. I need to stay focused on Jesus...not on money, not on movies, not on who my future husband will be, not on friends...ON JESUS. Then I can make it and be happy. It's hard...and it goes against all the world has to say...but I have to do it. I am called to do it. I can't be like Peter and take my eyes of Jesus and sink. Yes, we all screw up. But the more I screw up, the further from Jesus I become. And I DON'T like being far away from Jesus. So yeah. That's where I'm at right now. Please pray for my energy levels and my passion as my students return...I was reading my friend Byron's page today...he is so passionate about what he does. He loves his books, and even though he doesn't regularly have students, he loves them as well. He pursues the best at all times. I aspire to be like him. I need to find my passion. I dabble in passions right now. I love Mont Alto. I love my students. But I don't want to support raise for the rest of my life. What are my dreams? What are my aspirations? I am not sure. God is directing my life right now. But what does that mean for the rest of my life? What am I going to do when my three years with CCO are up? Grad school? Teaching? Seminary? What? I'm not too good at saving money right now...or at preparing for the future. So, right now I'm resting in God's grace. That's all I can do. Trust that God is in control...and that it will all work out. Thanks for reading my rambling, and talk to you all soon! ;-)
While I was at Roxbury recently, one of my favorite pastors used one of my new favorite "Christian-ese" phrases. He said that we all need to be "Jesus with SKIN-ON" and that we need to find people who for us are "Jesus with Skin-on". Hm. Since he used this phrase, I've been trying to figure out what the heck that means for me. How can I be the hands and feet of Christ in my humanness? In my sinful, weak, fallen state? How can I NOT let the things of this world get in my way when I am trying to care for my students and bring them nearer to their Lord and Savior? How can I not let the "Red tape" of PSU get in my way? I may not always do things to the best of my ability...and that is not glorifying to God. So how do I deal with it? I let it go when I mess up, let Him take charge, and do better next time. It's taken me a while to learn how to do this. And it's still hard.
It's hard for me as well to balance. It will be different this year because I know the campus folk. I just don't know lots of students yet. How can I get my energy back that I need? Prayer. Rest. Friends. But how do I balance these things? We're still working this one out.
I've also been pondering what it means to walk what I talk. I do to a point, but then there comes the point when I get tired of walking the walk. But I CAN'T....CAN'T give up pursuing the goodness of God. When I focus on Jesus 100% all the time....I can make it. I need to stay focused on Jesus...not on money, not on movies, not on who my future husband will be, not on friends...ON JESUS. Then I can make it and be happy. It's hard...and it goes against all the world has to say...but I have to do it. I am called to do it. I can't be like Peter and take my eyes of Jesus and sink. Yes, we all screw up. But the more I screw up, the further from Jesus I become. And I DON'T like being far away from Jesus. So yeah. That's where I'm at right now. Please pray for my energy levels and my passion as my students return...I was reading my friend Byron's page today...he is so passionate about what he does. He loves his books, and even though he doesn't regularly have students, he loves them as well. He pursues the best at all times. I aspire to be like him. I need to find my passion. I dabble in passions right now. I love Mont Alto. I love my students. But I don't want to support raise for the rest of my life. What are my dreams? What are my aspirations? I am not sure. God is directing my life right now. But what does that mean for the rest of my life? What am I going to do when my three years with CCO are up? Grad school? Teaching? Seminary? What? I'm not too good at saving money right now...or at preparing for the future. So, right now I'm resting in God's grace. That's all I can do. Trust that God is in control...and that it will all work out. Thanks for reading my rambling, and talk to you all soon! ;-)