INTERNET POSTING.
Well Readers! IT's me; michaels pattens and school is winding down. College is just around the corner and life is changing. I got a great girlfriend and my friend's are okay. But really, it's like i don't really care about them anymore. Or i don't get too excited about that kinda stuff anymore, livejournal. I only really get excited about a couple things nowadays, maybe... can't really think of them, actually, right now.
which is strange, or disheartening. I took this really nice trip to Mexico recently . before that was christmas and that feels pretty far away; pretty different now that I think back. And before that I turned eighteen, ...
I'm trying not to be so jumbled, Journal. I really haven't felt the need to post or say anything on this Internet Blog Website. Maybe it's because I've lost the need to entertain.
I read a personality book and one prediction said: if I were to sink into a bad place I would live at home and then commit suicide.
i can't absolutely make sense of....
past friends, doings, dialouge, actions, no actions {when my mind clocks into memory -= maybe what I'm seeing is my life,so-far, becoming a whole. Looking back, laughing, not at an incident| but laughing at the 18 year, 18 second struggle and i may think |in 18 mini-mili seconds ( :>P and "that's how I lived... that's a life? that was my heart pumping, my veins moving)
Journal, please stop me once I've gone overboard. But what I'm finding is that if I rid myself of ego, I can be __better__
Journal, I can't plan what I write to you. And, honestly, I can't quite be sure if this is bullshit or... oh, journal. I dont know what to do with my words anymore. What if i'm just acting, journal. What if I'm lying... heha (pronounced similar to a hoarse sound), that would be bad. I...I... I.. want to stop my judging brain, stop wanting to:
after so many years I want to accept it all, Journal.
after so many years, just goin' about goin' ain't gonna do much. "making a difference?, that doesn't matter, that doesn't do anyting either. BUT- What THE fuck does THIS DO!!
How is I going to be pleased if past doings are merely memories of being some type of a me,
""""""| hit a tornado hard once, sat on my face, crushed my ankle skiing tooo fast, hit a big train, hit a big ice, hit a big wall, didn't bother to recooperate.""""""
Again, """'"| met a spirited, young fellow. H e lay in a ditch, covered in soot; suprisingly he wasn't singing, not smiling. but he definitly seemed spirited. the guy, he just lay there and I only saw him shift a little, sometimes."""""
Once More, """"""|Journal?! What am I gonna do, Journal. I mean my friends, girl, mum, Dads, teachers, loved ones - they, they, ttthey're only contributing. How am i supposed to look back and BE pleased, JOURNAL??? Not that I WAnt to forget, no no no. And That doesn't mean to say it's bad. but journal""""""""" HeHa---nevermind, mind.
which is strange, or disheartening. I took this really nice trip to Mexico recently . before that was christmas and that feels pretty far away; pretty different now that I think back. And before that I turned eighteen, ...
I'm trying not to be so jumbled, Journal. I really haven't felt the need to post or say anything on this Internet Blog Website. Maybe it's because I've lost the need to entertain.
I read a personality book and one prediction said: if I were to sink into a bad place I would live at home and then commit suicide.
i can't absolutely make sense of....
past friends, doings, dialouge, actions, no actions {when my mind clocks into memory -= maybe what I'm seeing is my life,so-far, becoming a whole. Looking back, laughing, not at an incident| but laughing at the 18 year, 18 second struggle and i may think |in 18 mini-mili seconds ( :>P and "that's how I lived... that's a life? that was my heart pumping, my veins moving)
Journal, please stop me once I've gone overboard. But what I'm finding is that if I rid myself of ego, I can be __better__
Journal, I can't plan what I write to you. And, honestly, I can't quite be sure if this is bullshit or... oh, journal. I dont know what to do with my words anymore. What if i'm just acting, journal. What if I'm lying... heha (pronounced similar to a hoarse sound), that would be bad. I...I... I.. want to stop my judging brain, stop wanting to:
after so many years I want to accept it all, Journal.
after so many years, just goin' about goin' ain't gonna do much. "making a difference?, that doesn't matter, that doesn't do anyting either. BUT- What THE fuck does THIS DO!!
How is I going to be pleased if past doings are merely memories of being some type of a me,
""""""| hit a tornado hard once, sat on my face, crushed my ankle skiing tooo fast, hit a big train, hit a big ice, hit a big wall, didn't bother to recooperate.""""""
Again, """'"| met a spirited, young fellow. H e lay in a ditch, covered in soot; suprisingly he wasn't singing, not smiling. but he definitly seemed spirited. the guy, he just lay there and I only saw him shift a little, sometimes."""""
Once More, """"""|Journal?! What am I gonna do, Journal. I mean my friends, girl, mum, Dads, teachers, loved ones - they, they, ttthey're only contributing. How am i supposed to look back and BE pleased, JOURNAL??? Not that I WAnt to forget, no no no. And That doesn't mean to say it's bad. but journal""""""""" HeHa---nevermind, mind.