(no subject)
I've had a very off day today so far.
.. I woke up at 7 so all i could really do was throw clothes on, and do my makeup since you kno i live in BFE
.. On the way out to the car i tripped and stubbed my toe and i started bleeding
.. during 1st hour brian was stretching and he knocked my hot chocolate over and it spilt all over my pants and i looked like i peed myself. So i had to wait for my aunt to drop me off new pants
.. Then i've been in a kind of mellow/ not really in the mood for nobody's bullshit mood for the rest of the day
Yeh.
I went home yesterday night around 7:30-8ish. When i got there my cousin who's been staying with us for about a week had a little talk with me about everything. We talked about my mom and how my sister moved back home and everything. I told her why i dont want to go back home and stuff. Then we started talking about aunt laura and i felt like i wanted to cry. She was sitting at the table by herself rolling her cigarettes and i was thinking. Shes filed bankrupcy, has absolutly NO MONEY what so ever and you'd think since she's gone through so much bullshit. And through it all she hasnt given up you know. I mean, me living there with her is bringing her so much drama from everybody in my family cause everyone has they're opinions that i need to be home with my mom and my aunt just stays on my side. Everyones against her. Then shes so considerate and caring. She has the tiny-est little house ever WITH NO MONEY for bills and shes so totally in debt. Yet theres 9 people living in that house. 4 dogs and a cat. 4 of the people are my cousin's friends and they need somewhere to stay till they get they're house. 2 of the dogs are from people in the family that just all of a sudden decided one day that they didnt want them anymore. so its like my aunt has such a huge heart she just takes them all in. even though she has nothing. So i was sitting there lookin at her about to cry cause through all this stuff im going through with my mom and everything, nobody is there for me. But my aunt is. So when everything finally clears over and i prove my entire fucking family wrong that i can do it on my own and i dont need they're help. I dont need they're bribes and im independant and im going to make something out of myself and laugh in all they're faces and tell them i told you so. I can say to them that the only person that was there for me during the hardest times i have EVER GONE THROUGH the only person that was there for me was the person that had nothing to give, but sacraficed the little she did have.. for me
Let's get crazy, talk about our big plans
Places that you're going, places that I haven't been
Build my walls up, concrete castle
Keep this kingdom free of hassles
But I hear sound echo in the emptiness all around
What you can't change is loneliness
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down
Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
Tell me that you’re alone, tell me on the telephone
Feel your heart, it breaks within your chest now
Try to get some rest now
Sleep’s not coming easy for a while
.. I woke up at 7 so all i could really do was throw clothes on, and do my makeup since you kno i live in BFE
.. On the way out to the car i tripped and stubbed my toe and i started bleeding
.. during 1st hour brian was stretching and he knocked my hot chocolate over and it spilt all over my pants and i looked like i peed myself. So i had to wait for my aunt to drop me off new pants
.. Then i've been in a kind of mellow/ not really in the mood for nobody's bullshit mood for the rest of the day
Yeh.
I went home yesterday night around 7:30-8ish. When i got there my cousin who's been staying with us for about a week had a little talk with me about everything. We talked about my mom and how my sister moved back home and everything. I told her why i dont want to go back home and stuff. Then we started talking about aunt laura and i felt like i wanted to cry. She was sitting at the table by herself rolling her cigarettes and i was thinking. Shes filed bankrupcy, has absolutly NO MONEY what so ever and you'd think since she's gone through so much bullshit. And through it all she hasnt given up you know. I mean, me living there with her is bringing her so much drama from everybody in my family cause everyone has they're opinions that i need to be home with my mom and my aunt just stays on my side. Everyones against her. Then shes so considerate and caring. She has the tiny-est little house ever WITH NO MONEY for bills and shes so totally in debt. Yet theres 9 people living in that house. 4 dogs and a cat. 4 of the people are my cousin's friends and they need somewhere to stay till they get they're house. 2 of the dogs are from people in the family that just all of a sudden decided one day that they didnt want them anymore. so its like my aunt has such a huge heart she just takes them all in. even though she has nothing. So i was sitting there lookin at her about to cry cause through all this stuff im going through with my mom and everything, nobody is there for me. But my aunt is. So when everything finally clears over and i prove my entire fucking family wrong that i can do it on my own and i dont need they're help. I dont need they're bribes and im independant and im going to make something out of myself and laugh in all they're faces and tell them i told you so. I can say to them that the only person that was there for me during the hardest times i have EVER GONE THROUGH the only person that was there for me was the person that had nothing to give, but sacraficed the little she did have.. for me
Let's get crazy, talk about our big plans
Places that you're going, places that I haven't been
Build my walls up, concrete castle
Keep this kingdom free of hassles
But I hear sound echo in the emptiness all around
What you can't change is loneliness
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down
Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
Tell me that you’re alone, tell me on the telephone
Feel your heart, it breaks within your chest now
Try to get some rest now
Sleep’s not coming easy for a while