Under your wheels, the hope of spring, mirage of loss, a few more things
I don't know why I have to feel things so greatly.
I see people around here, a depressingly large amount of them, who certainly do not seem to stress about virtually anything.
Financials certainly do not seem to bother people around me like they do me.
My roommate just bought a $75 Patriots Jersey, for example.
And I can't stop thinking about how much everything costs, and how I just cannot handle it.
I think I need a fufilling, if unfortunate and unfun, summer of working way too much.
Elisa and I made a rather rash decision of flying out to Iowa to hang out with Amy over our spring break, so of course this just adds to the stress, as it is a completely illogical thing to do, financially.
Also, work is piling up, and I know almost certainly I will not be getting a 3.5 this semester. I jsut can't motivate myself to put the necessary work into it, all I keep thinking of is enddates, and not really the now. Soon is Girl Talk, soon my sister and phil come for a visit, soon is spring break (which I also will hopefully spending some of at Renee's college?), Soon is...summer.
But it's really not soon at all, and my lack of understanding of this is what's preventing me from, at least currently, being positive.
Also the complete stagnation and repitition of my weekends. Why must the people I generally get along most with here never want to actually DO anything. It's starting to feel like North Stonington all over again, which is awful.
Elisa and Renee come up here this weekend for the aformentioned Girl Talk, so hopefully by then I will have put these negative thoughts, that I thought I was done with entirely quite awhile ago, behind me.
And now I will probably end up watching the Super Bowl trying to feel like a part of my floor, rather than doing the work I should have done ages ago.
It's an affliction, it really is.
I see people around here, a depressingly large amount of them, who certainly do not seem to stress about virtually anything.
Financials certainly do not seem to bother people around me like they do me.
My roommate just bought a $75 Patriots Jersey, for example.
And I can't stop thinking about how much everything costs, and how I just cannot handle it.
I think I need a fufilling, if unfortunate and unfun, summer of working way too much.
Elisa and I made a rather rash decision of flying out to Iowa to hang out with Amy over our spring break, so of course this just adds to the stress, as it is a completely illogical thing to do, financially.
Also, work is piling up, and I know almost certainly I will not be getting a 3.5 this semester. I jsut can't motivate myself to put the necessary work into it, all I keep thinking of is enddates, and not really the now. Soon is Girl Talk, soon my sister and phil come for a visit, soon is spring break (which I also will hopefully spending some of at Renee's college?), Soon is...summer.
But it's really not soon at all, and my lack of understanding of this is what's preventing me from, at least currently, being positive.
Also the complete stagnation and repitition of my weekends. Why must the people I generally get along most with here never want to actually DO anything. It's starting to feel like North Stonington all over again, which is awful.
Elisa and Renee come up here this weekend for the aformentioned Girl Talk, so hopefully by then I will have put these negative thoughts, that I thought I was done with entirely quite awhile ago, behind me.
And now I will probably end up watching the Super Bowl trying to feel like a part of my floor, rather than doing the work I should have done ages ago.
It's an affliction, it really is.