My dad passed away this afternoon.

[humnmagicmarkr]

After a lengthy 4 year fight against everything he was going through, mainly complications from Gastric Bypass surgery, my father passed away at University of San Francisco Medical Center in ICU. I was called at work, picked up by my brothers and not more than twenty minutes later the doctor came out and told my mom. I just saw her fall into his arms and I knew it. I screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs ran though the double doors, literally threw myself against a wall and down on the floor and basically threw a tantrum. Screaming bloody murder saying "NO! NO! NO! NO! OH GOD NO!" A doctor apparently came after me. I think she thought I was having a coronary. I just couldn't stop bawling and it was the most adverse visceral reaction I've ever had in my life. I had to call work and let them know and I don't even know who I was talking to, but I just screamed, "MY DAD DIED!" over and over and over. Finally someone got one of my bosses, who cried with me. I work for the same company my father did. He worked there for 32 years. But the doctor who came after me was so nice. She asked if she could hug me and she consoled me. And a chaplain came and I'm not one for religion or anything. I'm agnostic. But it was really nice that my mom and brothers talked to her and she helped me as well. We actually talked about Incubus and how their music has helped me and how it will continue to help me through this awful time. I never even got to say goodbye. The last thing I said to him was on the phone last night. "Bye Dad." But I did go to the hospital on Friday in the ICU and we talked and I got to hug him and tell him I loved him. After they got him all cleaned up. We all went in and got to see him. It was too much for me so I left. But before we left the hospital for home. My mom asked if I wanted to say one last goodbye. and I had her come in with me. He just looked like he was sleeping. He had a breathing tube down his throat. He fought so hard for so long but his poor body just couldn't take it anymore. Before I got there with two of my three brothers (the other one was already there with my mom) they called code blue on my dad. They worked for 50 minutes on him. God, those doctors tried SO HARD but in the end it was just time. I was afraid to touch him. I kind of patted his head a little bit and it was heartbreaking to watch my mom say goodbye. They've been together for 35 years. Since she was 16. But when she was finished she turned around to leave. And I couldn't move. I didn't want to leave my daddy. But I did. Right now I feel so numb. I expect him to come out on his walker down the hallway, knock on my door and ask me to clean the kitchen or go to Jack in The Box for some Tacos for him. It's all too surreal right now. All I know is this. I love him. I always will. I've been daddy's girl since birth. I have three brothers, one older, two younger. And I've always been that to him. And I always will be and I will miss him for the rest of forever.

[b]RIP - Gerald Frank March 5, 1950 - July 29, 2007.[/b]