thinking about philosophy while pushing carts in the freezing cold rain
i am feeling really intellectually stimulated at the moment and feels really good. something just clicked recently and i don't know what it is. I feel as though I have learnt so much about myself recently and only will continue to learn exponentially. it's exciting and it is esteem that transcends every thing that makes me who I am. It's real. I know what is happiness and what it is not, and i'm moving along slowly enough to try to make it sustainable, or so i hope. Life right now at the young age of 20 still feels like a learning experience. I will be honest though, myself at age 13 couldn't even comprehend the thoughts that i'm thinking of, or even assign the appropriate words. One of the regrets in my life is that I should have read more than I did as a child. Anyway, I was in a totally different place then, an insecure and scary place that I feel absolutely noone deserves to be in. But I feel that one of the greatest assests that humans have is to learn from adversity and turn it into something positive, whether that is an evolutionary trick or just an added bonus from "above" (check out darwin's views on religion). My mind just chuckles when people make it out that I have not experienced adversity. It's not something that people outright wear on their sleeve from the get-go, trust me. that isn't to say it necessarily must be something of shame. it comes in all shapes and sizes and need not be weighed against itself. why do you think all of those "crazy" rappers with *bling* talk about their childhoods(would you know that ghetto existed otherwise?)
Frightened out of my mind last semester at this one class, I decided to switch a month in and chanced upon a Philosophy class called "making sense of ourselves." I think what just clicked, more than a month after the final exam, was something of that nature. the professor was pretty unapproachable and apparently had written some books, but he was remarkably successful at just standing there and communicating some of the most salient and complex issues that humans deal with.For some reason, I don't admire very many people(who are males), but I definetely feel like he is worth my admiration(and no not in a gay way).I feel like some of the books in there have conciously and unconciously had a profound effect on me, so much so that I almost care less that I didn't get an A. I might not have even taken philosophy unless some academic administrators decided that they needed to keep up with the liberal arts tradition. Some people trivialize it, but I feel like it is at the root of all knowledge and disciplines.
Though I had to work outside with only a fleece and hat in weather that makes a Jersey expatriate uncomfortable, I had an awesome weekend. Last night I supplied an array of inebriated characters with beats that made it to the hips just as fast as they made it to the brain. It was the kind of feeling that no drug could achieve, and quite literally on a different wavelegnth. Seeing the progression of tempo and dancers, seeing people make out with each other, and even seeing the student body president wooing that lame girl from AP US history all made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I ain't no asshole(most of the time), but I feel like the sky is the limit with this thing. I'm in charge and though success won't be handed to me, I feel the ethos "Why am I not as able or as talented as those 'accomplished' stalwarts?" It's a philosophy that I have somehow retained since I began listening to punk rock. Anyone who has heard enough of it would notice that what I speak is not arrogance, it's DIY.
Frightened out of my mind last semester at this one class, I decided to switch a month in and chanced upon a Philosophy class called "making sense of ourselves." I think what just clicked, more than a month after the final exam, was something of that nature. the professor was pretty unapproachable and apparently had written some books, but he was remarkably successful at just standing there and communicating some of the most salient and complex issues that humans deal with.For some reason, I don't admire very many people(who are males), but I definetely feel like he is worth my admiration(and no not in a gay way).I feel like some of the books in there have conciously and unconciously had a profound effect on me, so much so that I almost care less that I didn't get an A. I might not have even taken philosophy unless some academic administrators decided that they needed to keep up with the liberal arts tradition. Some people trivialize it, but I feel like it is at the root of all knowledge and disciplines.
Though I had to work outside with only a fleece and hat in weather that makes a Jersey expatriate uncomfortable, I had an awesome weekend. Last night I supplied an array of inebriated characters with beats that made it to the hips just as fast as they made it to the brain. It was the kind of feeling that no drug could achieve, and quite literally on a different wavelegnth. Seeing the progression of tempo and dancers, seeing people make out with each other, and even seeing the student body president wooing that lame girl from AP US history all made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I ain't no asshole(most of the time), but I feel like the sky is the limit with this thing. I'm in charge and though success won't be handed to me, I feel the ethos "Why am I not as able or as talented as those 'accomplished' stalwarts?" It's a philosophy that I have somehow retained since I began listening to punk rock. Anyone who has heard enough of it would notice that what I speak is not arrogance, it's DIY.