82 : almost certainly not what you were expecting
So I've decided that I'm not writing fic any more.
I can't say that writing fanfic has had an entirely positive impact on my life. Really, there's a part of me that feels like I've wasted a whole chunk of my life on it when I could have been doing something far more productive. I'd even go so far as to say it killed the creativity that I used to have. I shouldn't come up with an idea only to have my brain immediately apply it to one fandom or another.
Over the last few months I've slowly come to the realisation that there's nothing in it for me any more. I don't don't get that sense of fulfilment that I used to get. I don't even like reading fic any more. Finishing The Wife Extraordinary and (in part) Slugs and Butterflies marked a turning point that at first I didn't want to admit. They're both ideas that I had been waiting to write for literally years, and now they're done with everything else feels kind of... I don't know... mechanical, almost. Fic has started to be a paint by numbers type endeavour.
I know some people are here just because of fic, so feel free to defriend me. I'm not going to take offence, and to be honest the way I've reacted to some things to do with writing fic lately has possibly pissed a few people off. I have been sick recently - too ill to even fire up my computer. Whereas once I would have been twitchy at the thought of not being around fandom - reading fic, writing - I didn't miss it in the least. It was refreshing.
When I was fifteen I started to write a novel with dozens of different characters, living in countries with landscapes and cultures that I formed and shaped and loved. It was up to fifteen hundred pages long when I discovered fanfic and just... stopped. Over the years since I've slowly thrown out every original thing I wrote. Thinking about that now makes me feel kind of sick to my stomach.
So, um, yeah. That's that. All done.
I can't say that writing fanfic has had an entirely positive impact on my life. Really, there's a part of me that feels like I've wasted a whole chunk of my life on it when I could have been doing something far more productive. I'd even go so far as to say it killed the creativity that I used to have. I shouldn't come up with an idea only to have my brain immediately apply it to one fandom or another.
Over the last few months I've slowly come to the realisation that there's nothing in it for me any more. I don't don't get that sense of fulfilment that I used to get. I don't even like reading fic any more. Finishing The Wife Extraordinary and (in part) Slugs and Butterflies marked a turning point that at first I didn't want to admit. They're both ideas that I had been waiting to write for literally years, and now they're done with everything else feels kind of... I don't know... mechanical, almost. Fic has started to be a paint by numbers type endeavour.
I know some people are here just because of fic, so feel free to defriend me. I'm not going to take offence, and to be honest the way I've reacted to some things to do with writing fic lately has possibly pissed a few people off. I have been sick recently - too ill to even fire up my computer. Whereas once I would have been twitchy at the thought of not being around fandom - reading fic, writing - I didn't miss it in the least. It was refreshing.
When I was fifteen I started to write a novel with dozens of different characters, living in countries with landscapes and cultures that I formed and shaped and loved. It was up to fifteen hundred pages long when I discovered fanfic and just... stopped. Over the years since I've slowly thrown out every original thing I wrote. Thinking about that now makes me feel kind of sick to my stomach.
So, um, yeah. That's that. All done.