Get critical!
I need feedback by noon-ish tomorrow. I should mention this is for the Wednesday edition of The Daily Utah Chronicle, the University of Utah's student rag. They'll be doing a special issue devoted entirely to gay rights.
( Editor: )
( Editor: )
In the second paragraph your point would be much stronger if you could include a statistic about the precentage of AIDS cases spread by homosexuals vs. hetrosexuals in the U.S.A. (if it would help your case). I know when I read the stat I thought that AIDS in Africa so drastically out numbers the rest of the world that it's significance for the U.S. is somewhat tenuous. But, if it is all you got, keep it.
Next: I found the fourth paragraph offensive and I think short sighted. Saying that families are already so fucked up that letting homosexuals marry can't possibly make it any worse does not help your case. You are not going to convince people that marriage isn't a scared union (you aren't going to convince me that it isn't). What you need to do is explain why gay marriage isn't a threat to it. I would say that it is in everyone's best interest to encourage stable, loving families, no matter what the gender make-up is. Or that gay marriage doesn't change the meaning of hetrosexual marriage, or something like that. But please take out this sentence.
Finally about the second to last paragraph: Is it just the religious right, or is it the right wing in general? I know the religious right is terrible about this stuff, but I don't think it helps to single out religion when you don't have to.
Good luck, I love you.
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