"Why get so upset over a game?"
One of the conflicts I've had with playing World of Warcraft is how emotionally fraught playing the game can be at times. People who don't game or who don't game in communities can be quite surprised at what they see as disproportionate emotional investment in a game. 'Why?' they ask, 'get that upset over a game?'
It's a question designed to minimise the experience of the person being asked, and so this along with the demonisation of gamers as immature and anti-social contributed to me not realising immediately that I'm not really getting that upset over a game. I don't tend to leave the computer in tears over a session of Bejeweled, or get angry enough to rant about a hand of Solitaire. I can often feel frustrated at not achieving what I've set out to do, but it's temporary and passes quickly. In WoW, what I'm really getting upset about is people, and the way they treat others.
The social aspects of MMOs are often overlooked and downplayed when the pervasive stereotype of video games and those who play them paints gamers as loners who struggle with interaction. It's almost ironic that these 'loners' feel driven to seek out almost constant companionship of an online form - which is devalued by social norms that refuse to see any contact that isn't face-to-face as meaningful.
Playing World of Warcraft as part of a guild means being part of a community. There's an inherent promise of shared ideals and goals, and that people will work together towards them. Especially in raiding guilds, the well-being of all can depend on each person performing their individual roles. When someone in your community in some way violates that trust, people can feel betrayed.
Even outside of subscribed communities, other players can have the power to really ruin your day. When their little pixels start doing something unkind to your little pixels, the insult doesn't sting any less for the medium it's delivered in. It doesn't carry with it the physical pain of being pushed around by a bully, but the emotional impact remains the same. I'm 8 years old again, furious, and powerless.
Given the analogue of instant messaging and chat rooms, it seems inexplicable that well-meaning friends and family would be unable to see what can be so upsetting about 'just a game'. If anything, it makes the unsympathetic non-gamers who believe they are pointing out your inter-personal impairment look startlingly lacking in empathy and social awareness. How is it so easy to forget that on the other side of the network connection is a real, live, human being? Regardless of the method, it's a real and meaningful interaction that carries with it an emotional payload, for good or bad.
Sticks and stones can't break virtual bones, but names will always hurt me.
It's a question designed to minimise the experience of the person being asked, and so this along with the demonisation of gamers as immature and anti-social contributed to me not realising immediately that I'm not really getting that upset over a game. I don't tend to leave the computer in tears over a session of Bejeweled, or get angry enough to rant about a hand of Solitaire. I can often feel frustrated at not achieving what I've set out to do, but it's temporary and passes quickly. In WoW, what I'm really getting upset about is people, and the way they treat others.
The social aspects of MMOs are often overlooked and downplayed when the pervasive stereotype of video games and those who play them paints gamers as loners who struggle with interaction. It's almost ironic that these 'loners' feel driven to seek out almost constant companionship of an online form - which is devalued by social norms that refuse to see any contact that isn't face-to-face as meaningful.
Playing World of Warcraft as part of a guild means being part of a community. There's an inherent promise of shared ideals and goals, and that people will work together towards them. Especially in raiding guilds, the well-being of all can depend on each person performing their individual roles. When someone in your community in some way violates that trust, people can feel betrayed.
Even outside of subscribed communities, other players can have the power to really ruin your day. When their little pixels start doing something unkind to your little pixels, the insult doesn't sting any less for the medium it's delivered in. It doesn't carry with it the physical pain of being pushed around by a bully, but the emotional impact remains the same. I'm 8 years old again, furious, and powerless.
Given the analogue of instant messaging and chat rooms, it seems inexplicable that well-meaning friends and family would be unable to see what can be so upsetting about 'just a game'. If anything, it makes the unsympathetic non-gamers who believe they are pointing out your inter-personal impairment look startlingly lacking in empathy and social awareness. How is it so easy to forget that on the other side of the network connection is a real, live, human being? Regardless of the method, it's a real and meaningful interaction that carries with it an emotional payload, for good or bad.
Sticks and stones can't break virtual bones, but names will always hurt me.