(no subject)
I wonder how many people can honestly say they still love me now. I feel like I have gone through a major transformation, like nothing about me is the same. Like I use to be a huge pot head, well I seem to have made that situation a little worse. I smoke more now then I ever did. I was never really a big drinker, and now I love it, I hate not drinking. It has become something like breathing to me, I almost cant fuction with out alcohol. I know longer care how the world feels, it just doesn't seem to matter any more. It's like they never cared so why should I. You know, the world will give you life, it will give you love, and it will strip you of everything you ever cared about. I have come to hate becoming attached to people because people have weak hearts, they can't handle the emotional pain that comes from a relationship. Love is like a desease that plagues the mind, slowly breaking you down. It empties you, ripping at you insides untill there is nothing left. It's an addiction though, we seem to need love, to love and be loved by others. Like ciggarettes, we consume it with all our being, just for the short lived pleasures we experience. It's poison we drink without question, it runs its course through our system and leaves us to bleed. We take it all for granted, far to much, like we can find it every day. But maybey we can, we just need to know where to look. Like a drug, just need to know where to find the best. Sactuary, what were we thinking when we gave our selves up to this misserry. Life is but a passing story, written in the blood of our mistakes, make the best of it. You can only bleed so much, your heart can only pump blodd so fast, eventually it will fail. Use it well, there is no end to time, make it last.