tell me everything....

Mar 31, 2004 10:20

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anonymous September 18 2005, 19:57:36 UTC
Every single day, I wake up and wish my father was dead.
He's 81 years old, and he still hurts my mother but she won't
leave him because she's afraid she'll go to hell if she does.

I try not to hate him for wasting her whole life. And for
hurting his children as well. I meditate and do all sorts
of things to have peace in me about him.

And yet, each day when I wake up, during the
first waking moments, one of the first thoughts
is, "Maybe today is the day he will finally be dead".

Oh and another thing? The only time I feel beautiful
is just after I've run at least 3 miles. After that, it wears
off, and I just feel all bleah again.

What the hell, here's one more. I'm a female, and I have
lots of really crappy tattooes my friends gave me and that
I gave myself. They're not those nice ones you see on people
who are cool. I have seriously trash tattoos. People always
say to me, "Do you regret them?" It makes me want to hit
those people. The truth is, I wish there was not an inch
of my skin that wasn't covered. Even if it was all more
trashy tattoos. Then, maybe people would be too afraid
to ask me if I regret them. Maybe then people would know
that yeah, I did think about it first. I did know they would
always be there. Even when I'm really old. And I went
ahead and did it anyway. Beeotch.

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hullo_lani September 20 2005, 00:14:35 UTC
I think there are often people in our lives whom we wish were no longer in it. Thing is, once they are gone, it doesnt' necessarily mean the pain will be gone, unfortunately. I hope you find peace before your father dies.

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