a poem for lisa

[huixingzhen]

a poem for lisa (with vomiting, because she likes to think of vomiting)

give me life--
a ball in my hands
and i will squeeze and tear and shred.

it will ooze and warm and writhe.
i will swallow it down,
get it in my blood,
spit it back out,
and roll in the sticky joy
on my face.

the world will
judge
judge
judge
and laugh.
i will laugh back.

i will cry and scream and run
scared as a child in flux
right into the sticky mess
and smear rejection on the grass
and leave it for the birds.

oh, regret!
i want to know
nothing of regret.