"The Terrible Secret of Tom Bombadil"
bunn kindly apprised me of the existence of this Bombadil speculation.
Thoughts:
- Many of the respondents have taken this way too seriously (particularly Mr. Osborne on pg. 6). I don't see any assertion on the author's part that this interpretation is the best one or even a tenable one; I just see a wonderfully creative and unique (albeit dark--but obviously that's why I like it) approach to Old Tom here.
- This seriously would make for an excellent "AU" story. I'd read the h*ll out of it.
- An anon on pg 5 says: If we are going to do a sinister interpretation of Bombadil, why not go into full crossover territory and postulate him as a renegade Time Lord, who is hiding from the Doctor behind amnesia and in an alternate (story-)universe? In the book itself Goldberry explicitly states that Tom is the master...The Master... Reborn! (cue the drums, the drums, the neverending drums)
^ THIS. I love The Master and his insane drum motif. I can totally hear Bombadil's song set to The Master's drumbeat, but I don't even know what weird tempo that would be. =D
- This caused me to (I think re-) read this one: "Who Is Tom Bombadil?" So now I'm just going to say that "Tom and Goldberry are actually Aulë and Yavanna" makes least sense to me out of all the speculations. Aulë? I'll accept the "Tom is Eru" line before I accept a conflation of Aulë with Tom Bombadil.
- I just wrote a crack!thing. It's not fancy, but it's the first thing I've written in weeks and it addresses my thoughts on the Aulë-as-Bombadil speculation more amusingly than a nonfiction rant would.
Sauron: So you know that eccentric fellow who sings and capers in the Old Forest?
Saruman: I wish I didn't, what of him?
Sauron: if you're drinking something, set it down, I don't want you spitting kahlua all over the palantír screen again.
Saruman: That only happened the once...Fine. Now what is this stunning news of yours?
Sauron: Well. As it turns out, Bombadil is actually Aulë.
Saruman: PFFT?!
Sauron: Told you so.
Saruman: But that makes no sense. What the eternal flame would a self-possessed, logical chap with a penchant for bioengineering, chemistry, and geophysics be doing running around in the woods like a hippie and singing inane verse?
Sauron: That's what I said. But unfortunately, it is true. Aulë evidently emerged from Valinor sometime after the Darkening, and came to abide here in Endórë along with his intolerable tree-hugging wife.
Saruman: Her, too? Fuck.
Sauron: Exactly. Apparently, what with that Dwarf-Ent drama before the count of time, and then the whole Curse and Kinslaying associated with the Elvenfolk Aulë had been hanging about with, Yavanna was beginning to feel "less invested in the relationship." The noble lady insisted they take an extended holiday in Midde-earth in order to work out their differences and reclaim their youthful passion and all that crap.
Saruman: Ew.
Sauron: Yes, let's not dwell on that. So clearly, us both being turncoat Maiar once associated with the Smith of the Valar, we must be passing careful not to let our schemes or deeds fall upon Aul--er, Bombadil's ears.
Saruman: Wait, back up, there's something I don't understand. Aulë and Kementári were both present in Valinor in the early Third Age, when my colleagues and I were selected to journey to Middle-earth for the purpose of--um, well--
Sauron: Yes, how's that going by the way?
Saruman: ...
Sauron: Oh come on, I'm just toying with you like a cat with a self-important little--that is to say, I'm just messing with you. You know, like pals do. Anyway, you were saying?
Saruman: Well, that all happened less than two millennia ago, so Aulë would have had to depart from Valinor sometime after that. So how is it that he traipses around the Old Forest calling himself "eldest," when Middle-earth had been home to sentient life-forms for thousands of years already?
Sauron: Precisely. Aulë has apparently thrown all trace of reason out the window and can no longer form coherent, verifiable assertions. This, in addition to his taking up habits he never formerly showed the slightest interest in nor inclination toward, and assuming personality traits which are at utter variance with his historic character.
Saruman: But why should he do all this? Is he that desperate to spy on us and undermine our workings in stealth?
Sauron: You'd think so, but no. The Aulë we knew was concerned for the earth and its inhabitants, and would also not fail to be cognizant of our presence here in Endórë. Yet this Aulë who styles himself Bombadil not only seems unaware of us and our doings, he seems completely indifferent to anything outside his little realm.
Saruman: I'd like to say I am relieved, but I must admit my primary reaction is one of bewilderment. Are you sure this Bombadil creature really is Aulë? What would compel a person to draw that conclusion?
Sauron: Well, Radagast told me that Yavanna--that is to say, Goldberry--told him all about it after she'd ingested quite a bit of mead along with some of Radagast's special mushrooms.
Saruman: So you've got hold of Radagast?
Sauron: Of course I have, he keeps wandering into my various strongholds in pursuit of moths or bats or other creatures. Not the brightest little fellow...But! he's also Yavanna's dealer. He provides all that she needs to keep Aulë rhyming and capering and complacent. Pretty dysfunctional, when you think about it.
Saruman: That relationship was never not dysfunctional.
Sauron: Quite. But this new level of spousal abuse and control works to my benefit, and yours too I might add, so it will behoove us both to allow Radagast to come and go freely.
Saruman: I can see the necessity, though I like it not. I'd planned to imprison Radagast on the roof of Orthanc next time he showed up here to bother me.
Sauron: Why the roof?
Saruman: Why not? To see what he would do about it.
Sauron: Good answer. Save the roof for someone less innocuous though.
Thoughts:
- Many of the respondents have taken this way too seriously (particularly Mr. Osborne on pg. 6). I don't see any assertion on the author's part that this interpretation is the best one or even a tenable one; I just see a wonderfully creative and unique (albeit dark--but obviously that's why I like it) approach to Old Tom here.
- This seriously would make for an excellent "AU" story. I'd read the h*ll out of it.
- An anon on pg 5 says: If we are going to do a sinister interpretation of Bombadil, why not go into full crossover territory and postulate him as a renegade Time Lord, who is hiding from the Doctor behind amnesia and in an alternate (story-)universe? In the book itself Goldberry explicitly states that Tom is the master...The Master... Reborn! (cue the drums, the drums, the neverending drums)
^ THIS. I love The Master and his insane drum motif. I can totally hear Bombadil's song set to The Master's drumbeat, but I don't even know what weird tempo that would be. =D
- This caused me to (I think re-) read this one: "Who Is Tom Bombadil?" So now I'm just going to say that "Tom and Goldberry are actually Aulë and Yavanna" makes least sense to me out of all the speculations. Aulë? I'll accept the "Tom is Eru" line before I accept a conflation of Aulë with Tom Bombadil.
- I just wrote a crack!thing. It's not fancy, but it's the first thing I've written in weeks and it addresses my thoughts on the Aulë-as-Bombadil speculation more amusingly than a nonfiction rant would.
Sauron: So you know that eccentric fellow who sings and capers in the Old Forest?
Saruman: I wish I didn't, what of him?
Sauron: if you're drinking something, set it down, I don't want you spitting kahlua all over the palantír screen again.
Saruman: That only happened the once...Fine. Now what is this stunning news of yours?
Sauron: Well. As it turns out, Bombadil is actually Aulë.
Saruman: PFFT?!
Sauron: Told you so.
Saruman: But that makes no sense. What the eternal flame would a self-possessed, logical chap with a penchant for bioengineering, chemistry, and geophysics be doing running around in the woods like a hippie and singing inane verse?
Sauron: That's what I said. But unfortunately, it is true. Aulë evidently emerged from Valinor sometime after the Darkening, and came to abide here in Endórë along with his intolerable tree-hugging wife.
Saruman: Her, too? Fuck.
Sauron: Exactly. Apparently, what with that Dwarf-Ent drama before the count of time, and then the whole Curse and Kinslaying associated with the Elvenfolk Aulë had been hanging about with, Yavanna was beginning to feel "less invested in the relationship." The noble lady insisted they take an extended holiday in Midde-earth in order to work out their differences and reclaim their youthful passion and all that crap.
Saruman: Ew.
Sauron: Yes, let's not dwell on that. So clearly, us both being turncoat Maiar once associated with the Smith of the Valar, we must be passing careful not to let our schemes or deeds fall upon Aul--er, Bombadil's ears.
Saruman: Wait, back up, there's something I don't understand. Aulë and Kementári were both present in Valinor in the early Third Age, when my colleagues and I were selected to journey to Middle-earth for the purpose of--um, well--
Sauron: Yes, how's that going by the way?
Saruman: ...
Sauron: Oh come on, I'm just toying with you like a cat with a self-important little--that is to say, I'm just messing with you. You know, like pals do. Anyway, you were saying?
Saruman: Well, that all happened less than two millennia ago, so Aulë would have had to depart from Valinor sometime after that. So how is it that he traipses around the Old Forest calling himself "eldest," when Middle-earth had been home to sentient life-forms for thousands of years already?
Sauron: Precisely. Aulë has apparently thrown all trace of reason out the window and can no longer form coherent, verifiable assertions. This, in addition to his taking up habits he never formerly showed the slightest interest in nor inclination toward, and assuming personality traits which are at utter variance with his historic character.
Saruman: But why should he do all this? Is he that desperate to spy on us and undermine our workings in stealth?
Sauron: You'd think so, but no. The Aulë we knew was concerned for the earth and its inhabitants, and would also not fail to be cognizant of our presence here in Endórë. Yet this Aulë who styles himself Bombadil not only seems unaware of us and our doings, he seems completely indifferent to anything outside his little realm.
Saruman: I'd like to say I am relieved, but I must admit my primary reaction is one of bewilderment. Are you sure this Bombadil creature really is Aulë? What would compel a person to draw that conclusion?
Sauron: Well, Radagast told me that Yavanna--that is to say, Goldberry--told him all about it after she'd ingested quite a bit of mead along with some of Radagast's special mushrooms.
Saruman: So you've got hold of Radagast?
Sauron: Of course I have, he keeps wandering into my various strongholds in pursuit of moths or bats or other creatures. Not the brightest little fellow...But! he's also Yavanna's dealer. He provides all that she needs to keep Aulë rhyming and capering and complacent. Pretty dysfunctional, when you think about it.
Saruman: That relationship was never not dysfunctional.
Sauron: Quite. But this new level of spousal abuse and control works to my benefit, and yours too I might add, so it will behoove us both to allow Radagast to come and go freely.
Saruman: I can see the necessity, though I like it not. I'd planned to imprison Radagast on the roof of Orthanc next time he showed up here to bother me.
Sauron: Why the roof?
Saruman: Why not? To see what he would do about it.
Sauron: Good answer. Save the roof for someone less innocuous though.