The hardest thing to go through
for those of you who read my other LJ, know about the divorce. he wont look @ me, talk to me, get changed in front of me or sleep facing me. but while he is sleeping, he will hold me like he wants to but when i ask him about it, he says he is sleeping and doesnt realize it. well last night, i went to lay down in bed and he lifted my chin and started kissing me. i got scared becuz i knew he was sleeping and it meant nothing to him so i walked out of the room. this morning he asked me if he kissed me or said anything to me afterwards and i said yes you kissed me and no, you didnt say anything. he said he was sorry for doing it. BOOM! that was like a slap of rejection right in my face, by my own husband. when the lease is up in 5 months, we are going our separate ways. i dont think i can. he is my life, my heart and my soul. granted we dont get along, but there is something there that wont let me let him go. ::sighs:: why does god have to give us feelings to make us hurt so bad????
*cheryl lynn*
*cheryl lynn*