why is this how it feels?
i havent updated in a while, and i was reading everyones past entries..and they are all complaining. and i have a lot of my own...
[*] why did that night end up how it did? i wish i could go back and change that night because i know if it went differently absolutely nothing would be how it is right now. i know that night wasnt totally my fault, but right now..im taking all the blame for it, eventhough i shouldnt
[*] i didnt think saying what i said..would make something else happen. it all happened way to fast, one minute i was speaking my mind..and trying to change everything for the better. but then BAM my plan back fires and everything gets worse.
[*] early yesterday, i felt like it was all my fault and that i was doing everything wrong. but then as the day progressed, the more i noticed it wasnt my fault. i was doing the best i could and you didnt notice. there was sooo much stuff i was doing for you that you had no clue about. no matter how bad things got, i was still there. i forgave quickly, which no one thinks i should have. even when we weren't talking, i still stuck up for you. expecially last night, certain people were talking so much crap about you, but i was still right there eventho you werent..sticking up for you.
[*] i dont know why you ignored me at the beginning, but im happy you came and talked to my layder :)
[*] i do want things back how they were, except for a couple tiny changes. and last night you wanted it back too. bbuutt people will hate me for it. i hate hearing everyone telling me all their feelings about it all. im happy they are there and trying to help me. but its not helping, i have my select few that i have there for me. the rest need to butt out.
[*] i cant help i still feel this way. eventho in a way it makes me mad that i do. because i shouldnt, which i know everyone would agree with that. but im a very forgiving girl and somethings are just very hard to me....like situations like these.
[*] i pretty much have my mind made up, i did last night too. but i dont know whats going on with you now. do you still feel the same way you did last night? or did i take too long to make up my own mind?
[*] somedays you are one of the most amazing people ever. and then other days you totally change, and act totally different around people.
[*] i want it all back but then i dont..i dont know if i should go through all this again? but everyone deserves a second chance, dont they?
[*] it would just really help, if everyone just let me do what i want. and let me make my own decisions, because...they are MY decisions. and if you acted like you were OK with it, would help even more.
thanks
[*] why did that night end up how it did? i wish i could go back and change that night because i know if it went differently absolutely nothing would be how it is right now. i know that night wasnt totally my fault, but right now..im taking all the blame for it, eventhough i shouldnt
[*] i didnt think saying what i said..would make something else happen. it all happened way to fast, one minute i was speaking my mind..and trying to change everything for the better. but then BAM my plan back fires and everything gets worse.
[*] early yesterday, i felt like it was all my fault and that i was doing everything wrong. but then as the day progressed, the more i noticed it wasnt my fault. i was doing the best i could and you didnt notice. there was sooo much stuff i was doing for you that you had no clue about. no matter how bad things got, i was still there. i forgave quickly, which no one thinks i should have. even when we weren't talking, i still stuck up for you. expecially last night, certain people were talking so much crap about you, but i was still right there eventho you werent..sticking up for you.
[*] i dont know why you ignored me at the beginning, but im happy you came and talked to my layder :)
[*] i do want things back how they were, except for a couple tiny changes. and last night you wanted it back too. bbuutt people will hate me for it. i hate hearing everyone telling me all their feelings about it all. im happy they are there and trying to help me. but its not helping, i have my select few that i have there for me. the rest need to butt out.
[*] i cant help i still feel this way. eventho in a way it makes me mad that i do. because i shouldnt, which i know everyone would agree with that. but im a very forgiving girl and somethings are just very hard to me....like situations like these.
[*] i pretty much have my mind made up, i did last night too. but i dont know whats going on with you now. do you still feel the same way you did last night? or did i take too long to make up my own mind?
[*] somedays you are one of the most amazing people ever. and then other days you totally change, and act totally different around people.
[*] i want it all back but then i dont..i dont know if i should go through all this again? but everyone deserves a second chance, dont they?
[*] it would just really help, if everyone just let me do what i want. and let me make my own decisions, because...they are MY decisions. and if you acted like you were OK with it, would help even more.
thanks