(Untitled)

[hugo__weaving]

Continuing, of course, with the theme of certain death that I seem to have brought upon this journal, I made the decision to inform all of you about a place no doubt most of you will end up: The Funeral Home. That is, of course, assuming you're not taken out into Death Valley, shot in the head and then having your carcass burned by the Iranian

Comments

[mir_otto]

You frighten me to no end.

Just saying.

[hugo__weaving]

Miranda, I'm shocked and appalled. You're frightened by me, when it is clear I'm the one being terrorized by the possibility of fire on the horizon? We are, after all, entering my second season as a farmer. I am completely justified in my paranoia.

[mir_otto]

I was having a weak moment. Forgive me? And stop disappearing for so bloody long.

That frightens me more.

[hugo__weaving]

Apparently. I suppose I could find it in my heart to forgive and forget, but the goodness of my heart does not come free. This obviously calls for some sort of repayment program we've got to implement. You could always come and do a bit of farm work.

Miranda, you know very well I'm not used to having this sort of haute technologie in my home. It scares me more than anything.

[mir_otto]

Do I look like a farming girl to you? I wouldn't know what to do with a plow if it was glued to my hands.

You just need the right tutor, darling Hugh.

[hugo__weaving]

You know very well there is a fine line between "out of her bloody mind" and "farming girl". Pardon my error.

And it seems so do you, darling Miranda. It's Hugo.

[mir_otto]

bloody typos

I know who I'm speaking too.

I am SO not out of my bloody mind ... often.

[hugo__weaving]

To, Miranda. Too implies "also". Shall I send a dictionary over to your home? You seem to have an urgent need for one.

Of course not, darling. There, there.

[mir_otto]

Hugo, I swear to God I will beat you good if you don't stop criticizing my typos! I'm having a horrible day with everything.

*growls*

[hugo__weaving]

I suppose having any sort of fun involving both "you" and "beating me good" would be absolutely enjoyable, pulled from any and all contexts. I'll drag out the Iron Maiden if you promise to use the paddle.

Asterisks now? You really must be in a proverbial rut. Be assured, Miranda, you hold my deepest sympathies.

[mir_otto]

I'll even wear my crotchless mistress outfit that you bought for Christmas last.

I'm in a rut. Yes. A horribly painful one at that. I also ask no forgiveness for my asterisks. They are on occasion very necessary.

[hugo__weaving]

Colour me impressed. I am handcuffing myself to the headboard as I type. The capacity for multitasking is a rarity, and you should be that much more impressed.

I have no words, Miranda. Although I disagree with you completely, I am a passive, wonderful man.

As a side note, it seems I've had a lapse of identity. Do disregard whatever may be in your inbox, and please keep it to yourself, otherwise I may be prompted to push the Iron Maiden back into the basement. We wouldn't want that, now, would we?

[mir_otto]

I fear for us both that you may have doubted my ability to impress you, dearest. As long as the key is lost and you will dutifully remain cuffed to the headboard long enough for me to travel from SoCal to Oz, we're in the go.

Of course you are, Hugo. You are in fact the most passive, most wonderful man I have ever had the blessed opportunity to call my father.

Tsk. I am unfortunately horrible at hitting the delete button all too quickly. Any act of false identity went the way of the rubbish moments ago and with much haste on my part.

[hugo__weaving]

I refuse to dignify that with any sort of answer but this: You're extremely lucky I'm patient.

I am well aware of this, even though you've neglected to mention it before. I know these things, Miranda.

Allow me to throw a bit of confetti.

[mir_otto]

Yes, but this is something we perfected years ago - this patience issue.

I will attempt, of course, to constantly remind you beginning momentarily that you are deemed above all others, Parker withstanding .. and perhaps my own father, in my book.

Careful. Someone might get the wrong impression and think you are celebrating.