Substitutions (Cautionary Tale No. 5)
You have an odd tendency to substitute things; putting sixty watt bulbs in place of one-hundred watt bulbs; using a twenty-four inch tube for the twenty-six inch tire on your bike; using regular sugar in a recipe that calls for brown sugar. Normally, these substitutions don’t seem to matter much. Today, however, has not been a very good day for you. The boss came by work, today. He saw how disheveled you were, and, noting your tardiness, gave you a scornful look. Say goodbye to that promotion you were hoping for. So far, you’ve been zapped by every door knob in the office, your lunch to all over your nice, white work shirt, and your hair is burnt. Needless to say, burnt hair isn’t a good look or smell for you. Some of your nicer coworkers are avoiding you, and, courtesy of your burnt hair, they can smell you from four cubicles over, easily avoiding you and your bad mood. Unfortunately, not all of your coworkers are that nice. The guy who’s going to get the promotion instead of you, Paul Jenkins, had to go and lord it over you. Today, he went a little too far. So, instead of ignoring him like you normally would have, you laid him out with a punch to the face. He’s going to take you to court for that. Where did the day go wrong? Was it the side of the bed you woke up on? Was it substituting margarine for butter while making waffles? Let’s just say that licking a wall socket is no substitution for a nice cup of coffee.