groundation

[hugmyhippo]

so most of u heard what happened.... not in great detail... but yeah u get the idea. so im grounded, and im not exactly sure when i will be free again... and specifically when i will get to see kenyon again. im trying to stay optimistic and now focusing on school to try to keep me distracted, im thinking of actually reading my summer reading wow. sooo being grounded, yeah it sucks, i cant see my friends for awhile and my summer was unexpectedly cut short, but thats not why im brought to tears everyday. what really upsets me is the fact that my mom lied to me and now my trust in her is extremely low... my sister told on me... my sister (whom i love so much and want her love in return so bad and always have. i was the little kid that chased my sister around asking for a hug and never got one) hates me for some reason.... my sister didnt apologize or even seem sympathetic at all about me getting in trouble and putting kenyon through this.... i have yet to receive a thank u for not telling on her... and my dad is disappointed in me once again, the story of my life, and that hurts pretty much more than anything. this whole thing has got me thinking about a lot of things.... for example, why sleeping over with boys would be such a big deal when my parents trust me with so many other things and know my morals and views... etc. then i realized how big of an idiot i truly am. of course theres the obvious reasons and fears a parent would have for their teenage daughter to spend the night in a bed with a boy... but in me and my sisters case there is so much more... sumthing i have stupidly never connected before... as a select few of u know my past with boys/men has been not so great... and i completly understand why my parents, my dad in particular would be sooooo protective of me when it comes to situations like this. its not that he doesnt trust kenyon or doesnt like him or anything but he is a guy.... and my dads just trying to protect me as much as he can which i truly appreciate.... im his baby girl, his punkin, his bubbie, his mini me, his shaniqua... and he knows how badly guys have hurt me before... and he doesnt wanna risk anything happening again. i can only imagine how difficult it is for him to watch me grow up and have a bf and watch me walk out the door with him knowing he has no control over what will happen while im gone. i love my dad so very much.




haha ok maybe some of u didnt enjoy that.... and yes, thats a sock




i love you, kenyon