Mar 26, 2004 08:15
this is quite possibly the most depressing time of my life. everything seems to be falling in on me, and there's nothing i can do - and even worse, almost all of it is totally my fault. let me count the ways.
1. my mom is depressed and suicidal again, that's always nice. all she ever does is lay around the house and sleep, we never do anything together anymore, i miss her.
2. my dad is constantly angry at me for my apathy, laziness, and audacity. everything i do now pisses him off, and he just wants me out of the house.
3. i am going to be a senior next year, god fucking dammit. i'm failing government and english(ACADEMIC JESUS CHRIST JESUS FUCK) and my parents won't let me go to pace to graduate in like 2 minutes because they say i'm too good for that. plus with these grades i'm sure a super-duper college would just *love* to have me. certainly.
4. laci and i have problems, let's leave it at that.
5. i have no real skills for if and when i do graduate high school. i have no fashion sense, so i can't be how rachel is on friends and buy people clothes, the easiest job in the world. i can flip burgers, and i can run tapes at blockbuster. sad existence.
All in all, i am growing up to be a fucking bum who fucks up all his relationships and dreams, and doesn't know how to fix them.
i fucking hate myself.
have a nice day.