Fame
I've fallen more in love with the notion of Hollywood than I care to admit. It makes me sound superficial, surely, but I've by no means forgotten my modest beginings. I don't imagine it's one particular aspect that draws my fancy more than the other--not quite--so much as the totality of it as a compelling whole: the madness of flashing cameras and their visual afterglow etched onto my pupils; the oft wearing hours of filming and then the awe of seeing the finished product brought to life on a silver screen; the anxious butterflies in the bottom of my stomach moments before a premiere. Something about the grandiose manner with which it all fits together appeals to me. I've seldom bought into the supposed hype of the industry but perhaps the mad snowballing of recent events and media attention have shuffled my perspective somewhat. Not to the point of complacency, mind you, only to the extent of pondering. Quite frankly, the realization that one has arrived at what could very well be the pinnacle of the American success story is nothing more than an intriguing experience if you're not the sort of fella who's content with staying in one place or being labelled as one breakthrough.
I find myself more aware of my situation and given more constantly to reflection after being asked daily about how it feels to have found the top. It's ironic, in a way. For years now, I've struggled to make a name for myself in a bid to separate my persona from that of a mere Australian unknown; but very recently, seeing it in bold lights at the world premiere of X2 in London, it struck me that personal validation from the public is no longer a priority or a need. A bit aloof of me, I suppose. But that's perfectly alright. I'm alright with aloof.
I find myself more aware of my situation and given more constantly to reflection after being asked daily about how it feels to have found the top. It's ironic, in a way. For years now, I've struggled to make a name for myself in a bid to separate my persona from that of a mere Australian unknown; but very recently, seeing it in bold lights at the world premiere of X2 in London, it struck me that personal validation from the public is no longer a priority or a need. A bit aloof of me, I suppose. But that's perfectly alright. I'm alright with aloof.