(no subject)
snow day.....! not exactly a good snow day...since yeah. cuz now i have more time to think about it....but on the bright side I can finish all my undone hw...i guess.
so bored...
last night..guys...thanks. you don't know how much that meant to me...
last night..i actually cried...i havent in a while..but i did..and i guess it sorta helped...but the pain/void is still there..I don't think it will ever be filled.
And the scary thing that this made me realize is that we really all do die. and if the void's we leave with people never leave us, then the void will just grow bigger and bigger every time..until we become so empty on the inside. And it's like an endless cycle, until we die, and then we will see all the people we missed or lost..
the more you love..or give love..the more you increase your risk of being hurt..
In my life I have lost 4 people. My great aunt, my great uncle (they were married and they both died of natural causes in the same week, i guess they really couldn't live without their true love..) my pop-pop (grandpa) died to my knowledge of natural causes and me and clare gave him his last meal...and the last time we saw him was right before we went to bed..because he died that night..at least the last things i said to him were "gnite pop-pop, sweet dreams." i still miss him till this day..he was sick..and that's why he was living with us..but its been about a year now..and i still do really miss him..and i don't know if i'll ever stop missing him..and now i've lost liz...she died of cancer..and at times she was in alot of pain..the last time i saw her was on christmas day..i really wish i knew that that was my last chance..i miss all of them so much..
so bored...
last night..guys...thanks. you don't know how much that meant to me...
last night..i actually cried...i havent in a while..but i did..and i guess it sorta helped...but the pain/void is still there..I don't think it will ever be filled.
And the scary thing that this made me realize is that we really all do die. and if the void's we leave with people never leave us, then the void will just grow bigger and bigger every time..until we become so empty on the inside. And it's like an endless cycle, until we die, and then we will see all the people we missed or lost..
the more you love..or give love..the more you increase your risk of being hurt..
In my life I have lost 4 people. My great aunt, my great uncle (they were married and they both died of natural causes in the same week, i guess they really couldn't live without their true love..) my pop-pop (grandpa) died to my knowledge of natural causes and me and clare gave him his last meal...and the last time we saw him was right before we went to bed..because he died that night..at least the last things i said to him were "gnite pop-pop, sweet dreams." i still miss him till this day..he was sick..and that's why he was living with us..but its been about a year now..and i still do really miss him..and i don't know if i'll ever stop missing him..and now i've lost liz...she died of cancer..and at times she was in alot of pain..the last time i saw her was on christmas day..i really wish i knew that that was my last chance..i miss all of them so much..