angie..*sigh*
hey yall just something i need to get off my chest. in december i went to the mall with my cousin to meet someone. it was this girl he was into i guess. you know this story ive told it before sleeps with her then decides he wants nothing to do with her. turns out i develop a crush on this girl dont say anythign till its to late and shes got a b/f. then i find out its the same girl i had a crush on in high school. i missed her twice. god gave me a second chance and i fucked up. we hung out on thursday we were watching movies and she looks at me and kisses me. this is the girl, you know the one, the one who always gets away, the one who somehow always slips right through your fingers. so thats it we kissed then kissed some more. thats all that happened of that nature. but later were just lying on her bed and i feel eyes on me so i look to find her just looking at me and i see her and all i can do is smile. when i look at her, when i see her looking back into my eyes for that moment im ok and everything is alright. she snuggles up to me and we just layed there talking ang holding each other. it drives me crazy. she tells me she doesnt really no why shes with the guy shes with now except security she knows he wont hurt her. but neither would i. maybe i should have said that to her huh? we hung out at webster beach earlier that afternoon and we were walking on the ice with our arms together and were talking and laughing and shes says jokingly "yeah but you love me" naturally my reaction was "what." "dont you!? well i think you do." i couldnt speak my words were jumbled i was stuttering. i didnt know then and i cant be sure now but i think maybe she was right. i havent been able to stop thinking about her, that day, her kiss or anything that has been said or done between us. so i guess this is it, my story, my swan song so to speak. the one who got away. maybe god will give me another chance one day soon. maybe just maybe ill get another chance and this time i wont let her get away, i cant, because who knows it might be my last chance if god willing i didnt already miss it. well i feel better. so for now goodbye to all.