boring, saddening, and pretentious/fleeting moments
the sex toy party (sponsored by yale as a part of their sex week program) on wednesday really wasn't all that i was hoping it would be :/ it was basically a lot of self-conscious (seemingly prudish) chicks gorging on party snacks and a product showing by a sex toy company called pure romance. i came away with five bucks in tips because the only person tipping was the owner of the company (who's mother incidentally was giving the presentation). we offered free champagne, wine, and drafts for an hour that night, and needless to say, all of them flocked to the bar during that period. becca was getting so pissed, because before the specified time some of them would come up and order drinks, then after she made them would be like "what? they aren't free? well i don't want it," then come back and get multiple glasses of champagne during open bar and not even drop a dime. i guess i can see why so many people in the club have such a bad opinion of yalies, but whatever. i'm sure the generosity of this group doesn't encompass the tipping of yale students as a whole. i had a decent time chatting with becca about what fun could be had with each new product shown and the silly insecurities of past lovers, watching anthony's squirmy expressions when when the woman giving the presentation would chat about how to please your man with anal beads and how the "seventh wonder would turn your boyfriend's cock into a living vibrator," and realizing my own sexual immaturity when trying not to chuckle at the silly vibrator names and scream out answers when she'd ask rhetorical questions like "who here hates blowjobs?" i came away with a bullet, a variety of lubes (even though i was really considering ganking this one vibrator dubbed "my favorite martian," which was electric blue and had all of these gelatinous spikes and seven different vibrating pulses, because earlier that night she called me and when i told her about the potential for my evening, she jokingly asked me to grab something for her... and of course, i would, just because), and a desire to never again wash a champagne or wine glass.
speaking of her. while i was walking to work today, i ran into her outside of the deli. i didn't even notice her until she called out to me, since i was just walking along consumed in my own thoughts. she sounded quite a bit healthier since i talked to her last when she'd been ill and down about a few things. we chatted for a few seconds about nothing. she reached out and took my hand after saying how cold she was. i glanced down and read some small self-reminders on hers before she dropped mine, saying how cold i felt too. "aren't you late for work?" i shook my head no and looked at her for a second. she wasn't comfortable. she was constantly pacing around and gazing off in all kinds of directions since she called me over. "you really shouldn't be here." brian was probably coming up anytime to pick her up so they could drive down to virginia for the weekend together. "yeah, you're right." i stood there for a moment, wanting to hug her or give her a kiss, like we always would, but i didn't see anything in her. i took a couple steps backward and blew her a kiss goodbye before turning around and walking off. she said "i love you" and i told her "i love you, too." i do, i really fucking do. maybe i should have just said, "no you don't," because that's how i felt at that moment. she yelled out to me when i was a few steps away, "peanut!" i turned and heard her say, "i'm sorry, i don't mean to be so cold." "it's alright, i understand." and i do. after all, i know the situation and i expect nothing else from her at this point. i smoked a cigarette out back, then on the porch of the club after clocking in, my mood all of a sudden glum and wondering why the fuck about so many things. every once in a while i'd look up, wondering if i'd catch the car driving by or sitting at the stoplight on college and crown they'd both be heading off in. fucking sickening.
i ran into kat on thursday. she kept on stopping by to keep me company. she came in completely dolled up for a friend's birthday party under the false impression that everyone else would go all out as well. she stayed at the club after we closed because her ride ditched her and we gabbed until she found a way out around two. i've never really had more than a two minute conversation with her before that night, and it was really nice. other than that, i spent most of the night playing tetris, mike tyson's punchout, and flirting with girls, although every flirtatious situation was stopped by an odd circumstance. this one girl i'll only know as number two (because when i hand out checks, i'll say something along the lines of "you're numb _, sweetie," and she just decided to be known as that: "hey brandon, i'm number two!"). she came up to flirt with me at one point and was basically boxed out midconversation by some other drunken fuckhead. there was another gorgeous girl that came in and when she dropped off her coat, she told me how adorable i am and we flirted for a second before i had to break it off for something else. she came over a bit later and we whispered short and sweet nothings into each others ears under the music. later that night, she came back just to flirt some more and kat of all people ended up jumping in, giving her an evil eye and scaring her off. funny stuff... it all really is.
speaking of her. while i was walking to work today, i ran into her outside of the deli. i didn't even notice her until she called out to me, since i was just walking along consumed in my own thoughts. she sounded quite a bit healthier since i talked to her last when she'd been ill and down about a few things. we chatted for a few seconds about nothing. she reached out and took my hand after saying how cold she was. i glanced down and read some small self-reminders on hers before she dropped mine, saying how cold i felt too. "aren't you late for work?" i shook my head no and looked at her for a second. she wasn't comfortable. she was constantly pacing around and gazing off in all kinds of directions since she called me over. "you really shouldn't be here." brian was probably coming up anytime to pick her up so they could drive down to virginia for the weekend together. "yeah, you're right." i stood there for a moment, wanting to hug her or give her a kiss, like we always would, but i didn't see anything in her. i took a couple steps backward and blew her a kiss goodbye before turning around and walking off. she said "i love you" and i told her "i love you, too." i do, i really fucking do. maybe i should have just said, "no you don't," because that's how i felt at that moment. she yelled out to me when i was a few steps away, "peanut!" i turned and heard her say, "i'm sorry, i don't mean to be so cold." "it's alright, i understand." and i do. after all, i know the situation and i expect nothing else from her at this point. i smoked a cigarette out back, then on the porch of the club after clocking in, my mood all of a sudden glum and wondering why the fuck about so many things. every once in a while i'd look up, wondering if i'd catch the car driving by or sitting at the stoplight on college and crown they'd both be heading off in. fucking sickening.
i ran into kat on thursday. she kept on stopping by to keep me company. she came in completely dolled up for a friend's birthday party under the false impression that everyone else would go all out as well. she stayed at the club after we closed because her ride ditched her and we gabbed until she found a way out around two. i've never really had more than a two minute conversation with her before that night, and it was really nice. other than that, i spent most of the night playing tetris, mike tyson's punchout, and flirting with girls, although every flirtatious situation was stopped by an odd circumstance. this one girl i'll only know as number two (because when i hand out checks, i'll say something along the lines of "you're numb _, sweetie," and she just decided to be known as that: "hey brandon, i'm number two!"). she came up to flirt with me at one point and was basically boxed out midconversation by some other drunken fuckhead. there was another gorgeous girl that came in and when she dropped off her coat, she told me how adorable i am and we flirted for a second before i had to break it off for something else. she came over a bit later and we whispered short and sweet nothings into each others ears under the music. later that night, she came back just to flirt some more and kat of all people ended up jumping in, giving her an evil eye and scaring her off. funny stuff... it all really is.