Had a really lousy day so far
I am feeling hot, miserable, depressed and in pain today. I had to spend three hours in the dentist char and four fillings. The novacaine is wearing off and I am beginning to feel it now. Temperature is hot and muggy and my allergies are up. Had to use my rescue inhaler before 10 am. Had an attach where I could hardly breathe and it was pretty scary. Then I get jumped because I did not call someone back right away. I was trying to find the information she wanted. I feel like I just cant win for losing now a days. I'm getting less then six hours of sleep. My counselor and my case manager cant agree on my diagnosis and Ive got each pulling me in a different directoin. I just feel like a body in the desert and vultures are coming and picking into it. I hate being expected to support and take care of everyone. I said I was having a bad time of it and all the different things I am having to deal with on my plate. Her thing was if I was still going to come over and fix her computer and now I am also supposed to set up her converter box. It hurts to feel no one listens to you sometimes. I issued a challenge about caring for caregivers and even that I must have miswrote because people were not understanding what I was asking about. I just am having a real black dog day, been off and on black dog weeks. I just needed to vent. I just need a laugh or a feel good story. Even in being a Dick supporter I feel like I am an odd duck out. Just feeling like my time came and passed before having a chance to live it. I just wish I could make people understand better. Guess Im down too because I heard of someone trying to commit suicide this morning and is now on The Unit. I swear many days I am feeling like running and checking myself into the unit. That leads me to my major beef with Morrison. Now my guy is thrown in Arkham. I'd actually been working on a story for a while as therapy with Dick in a Unit. Now Morrison has put him there. I have nothing against it but no one really can get how traumatic it really is to be a Unit. Ive been there for 6 weeks in the last twenty years. It is my reality. I know how it is and how it feels. Is terrifying and humbling and demoralizing. You are stripped of your identity and made to assume a new one. I guess all I want to do is to write something that would help others to understand. Something happens in your mind that they do not take about in books or college classes. There is something profound that happens to you, something that you really don't ever forget, ACH Sorry. Just needed to get things out for a moment.