FICLET: Fatherly Ramblings - 1/1 Rated R
Title: Fatherly Ramblings
Auther: Huffy
Rating: R for threats of violence and language
Table 07 Prompt 16 Love
Pairing: Batman, Nightwing
Setting: Batman’s thoughts when searching Bludhaven in Nightwing “Love and War”
When I find him I am going to skin every last inch of him. Of all the stupid, idiotic, crazy, asinine things for him to do well this is at the time of the list. I raised him better, I trained him better than this. Yes, I can understand at some level what he is doing. He loves this vile, filthy, vermin infested pit much like I love Gotham. Okay, yes I would be doing the exacted same thing but there is a big difference. I’m not my son. I’ve lived a long life and hell I have done more than a few things to deserve a painful death over. He is still just a baby, my baby. He is barely into his second decade of life. I am nowhere near ready to lose him yet, not by a longshot.
No, he didn’t listen to Superman but I don’t listen to Superman either. Oh hell, to be honest no one has really listened to Clark with any real caring since he was killed! He should have called me, but he would not because he would know exactly what I would have said, what I would have done. I would have yanked his sorry rump home. That is what I still intend to do. Richard John Grayson Wayne what in the hell are you thinking? Oh hell you have not been thinking for months now. I used to consider myself an expert on you, I felt confident that at any given time I could figure out where you were and what you were up to with a 99% level of accuracy. Right now though these past few months have been hell because you are not acting like yourself. DAMN IT NIGHTWING, this is not how I made you. You are not using your brain. You are taking risks that are making me blanch. You are causing more than a few gray hairs and my ulcers are developing ulcers.
Some days. between you and Tim. I am ready to declare myself way to old for this shit. I am going to have to turn on the tracking and hope that somehow I get a break. Oh hell son, I love you and a father is not made to bury his son, even a father who is as lousy as me. I know I suck at it. I do love you, Brat, more than anything. If I lost you in this this hellhole right now I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t stand to lose you any time. See, didn’t you read the fine print in the contract we did as Robin, see unwritten in the oath is the clause that you are not allowed to predecease me unless I give you express written permission in triplicate. I am nowhere near ready for that. Ah, I got a signal. At least a few gray cells were working in that thick, swiss cheese thing in between your ears that has been serving as a brain lately.
Say goodbye to independent living, kiddo. You are soo grounded. I don’t care if technically you are over 21, sue me. I have the keys to all the toys and I can still ground you. You are also penciled in for one mega spanking over my knee for, well I will think of plenty before this little adventure is over. I also am sitting your rump down and you and I are going to have us a father son soire, after you give me oh about six months of status reports. I know, part of this is all about Blockbuster still. ARGH! That man has done more to ruin these people, this city, oh hell everything he touches. Newsflash Dickie, I am damn well not going to let him destroy you. I am glad you have built me up on a mountain of such high moral standing. Son though, I am mortal and I have feet of clay. I have walked away, I have stood and done nothing. Way before I met you, I actually did kill. I have never been a sterling silver night on a white charging steed. I am black and I have more blood on my hands in more ways than one then there is water to wash off. You, Richard John, are the purification of my soul. The way that I am in your eyes is what gives me the power to fight off the demons and monsters that still live inside me barely under the surface. When I drove you off, when I shut you out, I was forced to see parts of me I did not want to see. I need you in my life to be better then I am.
I am sorry for everything. I need to start again. Oh hell, WHERE ARE YOU?!!!!! I just saw a young man dead, Dick. He was your age. My heart tore through me thinking it was you. I felt so odd walking up to the crying woman and getting a look at the young man. I hurriedly walked on, I did not want her to hear my sigh of relief that it was not my son, that it was not you. OK the signal is getting stronger. I am going to rip every bone out of your socket. I am going to make a hidden room and lock you in until you are 30. I am going to string you up by your toes. I am going to make you clean every inch of the drive panels on your hands and knees with a toothbrush. I am going to make you stand on your head and recite to me every rule and protocal you have broken in English and Kryptonian. I am going to make you walk all over the Satellite with some embarrassing sign Tim can think up.
Ok, signal is showing you are on the other side of this door. Why the heck are you in a building owned by the unlamented Blockbuster? Yes, there might be civilians but so help me Richard John, you mean a hell of a lot more to me then any one of these teeming masses in Bludhaven. I would take you and leave with you and not look back. Cold, yes. Hard, yeah. Unfeeling, oh hell yes but I am Batman. To be honest, I only care about you and Alfred. Tim is there but not next to you by any means. Hmm, door wont open, well no damn door ever built can keep me from you and you know it. A little dose of C4 and yep, one door out of the way. I still say Alfred should have let me use a little C4 when you would lock your door in a tantrum. Blow the door off the hinges one time and you would know to open it the next time. Alfred never would though, said it was much too dangerous and a young boy needed his privacy. Well, Tim is getting C4. I plan on testing my theory. Oh, your butt is coming back home, at least on a whole lot of visits and if you ever try to lock it I will C4 it, well I better check that you haven’t snuck in a date first.
I love the sight and sound of C4 detonation. Hehe to quote my favorite TV show, “blew ‘em up real good.” No more door! Now where are you? Oops, you are under the door. OK now THAT was an accident. I did not intend Nightwing to blow a door down on you, okay and a good section of wall. Its not my fault they don’t make walls like they used to and how was I supposed to know you would be right on the other side of the door. Well, at least digging you out of debris with my bare hands gives me something to do with my anger. Furious does not begin to describe how I feel right now. Nope, not even the tip of the iceberg. I can understand at this moment what might drive a father, even one like me who loves his kid to death, to consider filicide. I think I am going to find you a pile of debris and make you move it with your bare hands. Trust me it is not fun, especially when doing it one step away from a full blow panic attack.
Oh man, I drop down next to you. I can finally see you breathing. I can finally touch you. My knees are shaking and I don’t trust to stand. I can feel such relief washing through me. All the fire of my anger is burned off. All I can feel now is euphoria. You are alive. I have more precious time with you. It is times like this when I realize how damn stupid and pointless every one of our fights are. They seem so major because we are so much alike that we just cant fathom how the other most intelligent person in the universe does not understand where we are coming from. In reality they are basically down to about as major as do we have Burger King or McDonalds, or do we park close to the building or at the far end of the lot.
I stick a breather in your mouth and I am filled with so much love for you all over again. So help me when I get you back on your feet from this, I am going to give you the biggest butt chewing you have had in a long time. I am going to scare the devil out of you so you never risk that beautiful, precious neck like this again. I’m going to try to hug you tight and make you tell me what is going wrong with you and then try to fix it and make it better. I am going to try again to say how much I love you and how much you mean to me. This has scared me straight into my priorities. You are my new priority one, you and your brother Tim. Even if I can never say the word Love I will show you ever day I do the best I can and somehow I know at least you will understand.
Don’t get cocky though Richard John Grayson Wayne. I am still angry at all the stupid risks lately. You are still doing those status reports and getting the poo scared out of you. Also I may still spank that what they call DFA until it is red and shiny and you don’t sit for a week. See Brat I am the Dad. I love you and that is my job, Dickie, and don’t you ever forget it. Oh yes, I can call you whatever I want because I am Dad.