Private Entry
I've tried. I've really tried but I can't hate him. Even when he's walking around, those two goons behind him. Yeah, so Malfoy dissapears and Crabbe and Goyle decide to follow Mortale around instead. Before, I would've thought this would make me sick. To see that. But it doesn't. I just feel sorry for that stupid Italian dolt. Crabbe and Goyle can't be much for company.
Well, at least they're company. I hardly see anyone anymore. Everyone seems to be busy. Or leaving the school. I don't blame Ernie, though. He's got his own problems. We've all got our own problems, I guess.
I sort of miss talking to Mort.
There, I did it. It's there in writing. I know I told him to never talk to me again but I wasn't really thinking, was I? I always try to reason myself. Mortale's a Slytherin. He lied to you. The thing is, I still don't remember anything about that night. I know it'd be easy to use a spell to bring the memory out, or a pensieve, but I'd rather not. I'm afraid of what I might see. Or remember feeling.
And it's infuriating when we're in class and he starts glaring at me and I start glaring back. It's happened a few times now. Sometimes I start it with a dirty look and he just freezes and glares at me. Alright, I know I shouldn't be disturbed but those eyes should not be used for any other purpose other than looking at things. Those things are like beacons or something. I mean, how the hell did his eyes get that colour in the first place?
I have never wanted a school year to go by more quickly than now. Not just because of the entire Headmaster thing but also because I have a feeling that everything's falling apart. I haven't talked to Pansy for ages and I don't know but maybe she's still hurt or something. Harry's deserted us. Yeah, deserted. That's the only word I can think of. Malfoy's buggered off too. I can't talk to Mortale because of obvious reasons and I have this funny feeling in my gut. Like something's happening. Or going to happen.
I'm just not sure anymore.
Well, at least they're company. I hardly see anyone anymore. Everyone seems to be busy. Or leaving the school. I don't blame Ernie, though. He's got his own problems. We've all got our own problems, I guess.
I sort of miss talking to Mort.
There, I did it. It's there in writing. I know I told him to never talk to me again but I wasn't really thinking, was I? I always try to reason myself. Mortale's a Slytherin. He lied to you. The thing is, I still don't remember anything about that night. I know it'd be easy to use a spell to bring the memory out, or a pensieve, but I'd rather not. I'm afraid of what I might see. Or remember feeling.
And it's infuriating when we're in class and he starts glaring at me and I start glaring back. It's happened a few times now. Sometimes I start it with a dirty look and he just freezes and glares at me. Alright, I know I shouldn't be disturbed but those eyes should not be used for any other purpose other than looking at things. Those things are like beacons or something. I mean, how the hell did his eyes get that colour in the first place?
I have never wanted a school year to go by more quickly than now. Not just because of the entire Headmaster thing but also because I have a feeling that everything's falling apart. I haven't talked to Pansy for ages and I don't know but maybe she's still hurt or something. Harry's deserted us. Yeah, deserted. That's the only word I can think of. Malfoy's buggered off too. I can't talk to Mortale because of obvious reasons and I have this funny feeling in my gut. Like something's happening. Or going to happen.
I'm just not sure anymore.