moving home.
well today wasnt at all what i had expected. i came home for a lil while and got to see alot of friends. it was nice. but tracy and i are still not to great. we still fight, not as bad but we do and its about stupid things. today i read these 2 poems she wrote for me a while ago and it makes me look back and realize that i dont treat her like she deserves. sometimes i just get angry and take it out on her and i can tell its really starting to break her down. i dont mean to but i just do. also i do such awfull thins to her that she doesnt deserve and i feel really bad about it. i wanna make everything better. i dont want to fight anymore. i want to go back to us lovint eachother again. i swear i hate gainesville. it tore us apart. it seems like everytime i think were going to do better i do something stupid and were right back to square one. but now i know if i lose her its my own fault and mine alone. sometimes when i see how i treat her i just wanna crawl up in a box somewhere and hate myself but i cant. i only have 2 more days at my work and i cant wait!!! i have to get outta there. i need to get outta there. today is our 10 month anaversary. woo. it sure wasnt as expected. i only seen her for and hour and a half and it was my fault. god i hate thinking in retro-spect. but hey i guess you live and learn. i have to get up early tomorrow. to drive back home. then go to work. grr. i hope tracy and i can work everything out. i just wanna go back to being us. blah.