We Rule the School (1/2)
Summary: After the summer break, Kurt still wants to start a PFLAG chapter. Dave Karofsky still isn't ready to come out. Blaine is worried that Kurt is getting too close to his former bully while Burt and Finn finally learn the truth about what went on last year.
Characters: Kurt, Blaine, Dave, Finn, Burt and Paul Karofsky.
Ships: Kurt/Blaine, unrequited Kurt/Dave, mentions of unrequited Kurt/Finn.
Genre: Angst, family drama, flawed relationships and one-sided romance.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Discussions on harassment.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Ryan, Ian & Brad.
Author's note: This is my first major stab at writing Glee fic. At the end of S2 I decided that I'd really like to write a story exploring Dave Karofsky's infatuation with Kurt. I also wanted to write a fic where Kurt's family found out about the locker room kiss. This story involves both those things.
Beta: lenina20 I both thank you and blame you entirely for this fic ;)
We Rule the School
1. Kurt.
The first day of his senior year at McKinley, Kurt had it on his agenda to corner Dave Karofsky. He’d needed to wait until Dave was alone by his locker and then catch him before he headed off to the cafeteria. Dave actually flinched when Kurt approached. Kurt would’ve laughed at the irony only...only it really wasn’t that funny.
“What do you want?” asked Dave, already looking like he wanted to hide.
Kurt straightened his shoulders, all business. “We have some planning to do.”
He opened his ring-binder folder to display the paperwork sent to him by the PFLAG Board of Directors, along with the sex education pamphlets his dad had picked up from the clinic and some flyers advertising the Trevor Project’s number and a list of other help-lines.
“This ought to be enough to make a start,” said Kurt. “I applied for the introduction pack before the summer, but what with Nationals and exams there wasn’t time to...”
“Are you fucking serious with this?!” Karofsky hissed at him.
“What?” said Kurt; forcing his voice to sound light and airy as if he really hadn’t expected to encounter any resistance. “I thought we’d agreed to this, David?”
Dave shook his head in disgust and turned away. For a moment Kurt thought he was just going to leave him standing in the hallway clutching his carefully catalogued folder of LGBT resources. Then Dave drew level with the boy’s locker room door and nodded for Kurt to follow him. Trying not to think too hard about the last time he’d followed Dave into this particular location, Kurt clasped his folder to his chest and hurried after him.
“I can’t,” Dave said, the moment that Kurt closed the door. “I know I said I would...but with all the talk that it would cause...this isn’t a good time. Santana broke it off with me at the end of junior year, so I don’t even have that anymore. I just can’t...”
Kurt nodded, though he wasn’t prepared to let this go in the slightest.
“Dave, I know you’re nervous. But it’s not just going to be you and me waving rainbow flags in the halls. It’s family and friends too, remember? Finn’s going to be there. And Brittany said she’d like to join. Rachel’s promised that she’s going to get one of her dads to come in and do a talk with us, even though they are a very reclusive couple...”
Dave swallowed. “Are you going to tell if I don’t come?”
Kurt looked into the jock’s fearful eyes and briefly considered using blackmail to get his way. But it was only a fleeting temptation. He knew better than to play empty threats with Dave.
“No,” he answered at last. “You know that.” He sighed. “I just think you’d feel better if you told people. It’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be. I mean...you’re out to me now, aren’t you? Here we are. We’re talking about this and you’re not trying to deny it anymore. I know you’re still thinking ‘I can’t, I can’t...’ I get that, I really do. But at least you’re admitting this to me, right? At least you’re okay with me knowing that...”
“Yeah, whatever,” Dave snorted, pretending to look for something inside his locker.
Kurt knew the ‘broken record’ comments were coming but he still persisted.
“Maybe you could try telling your parents next?” he suggested. “They might surprise you. They might’ve figured it out already. My dad knew about me.”
Dave rolled his eyes. “Everyone knew about you.”
Kurt bit his lip. While he was aware that he had only ever been hiding in a glass closet, he still resented the implication that it had somehow been easier for him to say certain things out loud for the first time, confirming them to himself and to others. As if Kurt didn’t deserve credit for coming out. Like he wasn’t brave; he was just obvious.
“Yes, everyone always knew there was at least one gay kid at McKinley,” he rebuffed. “And here I am in my final year and none of the others have had the guts to join me in the free air. I’m not just talking about you, David. Statistically we can’t be the only ones.”
“No, we’re not...” Dave muttered, shaking his head again. “But what makes you think the others will want to come out to join your little queer-loving cult?”
Kurt took a breath. “You could make a difference, Dave. You could really change the attitudes at this school. Me? I’m the circus freak. I’m the lady-boy from Glee club. They make fun of me. But you? You run with the jocks. You’re part of the popular crowd. They voted you their king. Doesn’t that mean you get to make the laws? If you say that being gay is okay then maybe they’ll accept it?” Kurt paused and then added. “Especially with your ‘queen’ backing you up. I mean, whatever the obnoxious reasons behind their votes, they still gave us those crowns. Surely that means we rule the school now.”
Kurt was only realising now that he hadn’t spoken to Dave since Prom. Kurt still had to persuade himself to feel good about the events of that evening; to feel proud that he laughed off the humiliation and enjoyed the rest of the night with his dreamy boyfriend. But thinking back to that royalty result...Kurt really wanted to shake Dave and tell him to quit being such a baby. Kurt was the one who had to get up on stage in front of a crowd of people who hated him. He was the one who’d been given a girl’s crown and had his principal call him a queen. Then there had been the final indignity of being asked to dance with the same boy who had bullied him so badly he had changed schools. If Kurt could withstand all that and still be ready to dance why couldn’t Dave just man up for a change?
Dave was still shaking his head and blinking at him in confusion.
“Why is this so important to you?” he asked.
Because you owe me, thought Kurt.
“Because...you just seem so miserable,” was what he settled on.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that now. Get on with your life. Let me do the same. I don’t have time for PFLAG or for that stupid Bully Whips club anymore.”
“It wasn’t stupid!” Kurt objected. “Well, the hats were stupid. But in principle...”
“I’m flunking English,” Dave blurted out. “Happy now? I screwed up on all my papers last semester. I’m going to have to get a tutor and my dad might not let me play football this year because that one fucking grade is going to drag down my chances of getting into any kind of a good college. Any chances of getting out of this town and maybe...”
Dave fell silent, his shoulders slumping, but Kurt could tell where his thoughts had been headed. If Dave could leave for another town; a bigger town, maybe a more accepting town, then perhaps he could escape the closet too? He could be himself at long last.
“I can help you,” said Kurt, barely thinking. “I’m sure you can tell by my eloquence and cultivation that English is one of my strongest subjects. I could be your tutor. God knows, I’ve had enough experience helping Finn with his homework. And you could help me too. I got a B- on a math test last year. I know you take Calculus, so...”
Dave frowned. “Are you serious?”
Kurt shrugged. He supposed he was.
“Meet me in the library this Friday after school. They’ll be nobody around. Kids can’t leave this place fast enough on the weekend. We can have a study session then maybe even...” He raised his PFLAG folder, “...read through some of this together?”
For a moment, Kurt thought he might have blown it by dragging everything back to his big blatant gay agenda. But Dave didn’t flinch this time. He just put his hands in his pockets, bowing his head and tucking in his neck like a shy turtle.
“Yeah okay...” said Dave. “Cool.”
Kurt nodded and turned on his heels. He left the locker room thinking that had been quite a progression for both of them. He’d been alone in Dave’s company. There had been no talk of bullying or death threats. Neither of them had ended up crying. Maybe last year really was behind them now? It was like Kurt was talking to a different boy. That’s why he made a point of calling him Dave or David now. It was Karofsky who he hated. Karofsky...that sweaty ignorant bully who had made Kurt’s life a living hell. Karofsky was nothing now. He was beaten. He was crippled. And if Dave could just find the courage to be honest about who he really was then that vile old bully would be chased away for good.
And that was something to aim for, right? Kurt felt certain it was a worthy cause for both of them. Or at least he did before he explained his plan to Blaine.
“Are you serious?” said Blaine in the same appalled tone that Dave had used when Kurt had showed him his folder full of colourful PFLAG materials.
Once again Kurt had met his boyfriend at the Lima Bean after school. They were only just sitting down with their medium drips. Sam and Mercedes would be joining them shortly so they had no time for a lengthy debate over this, let alone an argument.
“I want this to work,” said Kurt. “It’s my last year at McKinley, Blaine. I’d like to leave that school with something to show for it...a legacy for future gay kids maybe. The fact is if I start up this PFLAG chapter with just me and the Glee club, it’ll be seen as another sissy loser group and nobody else will join. If Dave gets involved at least there’ll be some diversity. I’m almost there, Blaine. A few study sessions and I think I’ll change his mind.”
Blaine leaned his head against his palm, rubbing at one of his temples.
“Kurt, you’re talking about being alone, after school...with Dave Karofsky.”
“What? He’s not going to beat me up, Blaine. The bullying has stopped. I’m safe now. This is just an opportunity for me to get him to open up about his sexuality.”
“Yes and that’s what I’m worried about!” said Blaine, his eyes wide and incredulous. “Kurt, you remember how you found out that Karofsky is gay, right?”
Kurt sipped his coffee. It tasted bitter. He’d forgotten to put sweetner in it. He took a long time swallowing, not wishing to continue this line of conversation.
“Yes Blaine, I think I can vaguely recall,” he said at last.
“So you realise this isn’t just a gay guy who needs your help,” Blaine continued. “He’s a gay guy who is interested in you. In fact, judging by his previous behaviour...he may have a very unhealthy infatuation with you.”
“Well, what if he does?” Kurt answered flippantly. “That’s his issue. It’s not like I’m going to cheat on you with him of all people.”
“And I’m saying...you can’t be sure this guy will take ‘no’ for an answer.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Okay Blaine, what if I take my rape whistle and ask Miss Miriam the librarian to be ready to protect my virtue?” Blaine opened his mouth to speak but Kurt cut him off. “Don’t start. Mercedes and Sam will be here any minute.”
Blaine sighed and slumped back in his chair. “I don’t get it,” he muttered. “You used to be afraid of him. You used to hate him. You don’t owe him anything, Kurt.”
Kurt shrugged again and sipped his coffee.
He owes me, he thought.
~*~
2. Blaine.
Karofsky would always be the guy who stole Kurt’s first kiss.
Technically Blaine knew there were worse things that Karofsky had done; the physical menacing, the hateful gay slurs and finally the death threat that had forced Kurt out of McKinley. The kiss really shouldn’t be the thing that bothered him most. But it was.
Kurt had been so upset when he had confided in Blaine. It was his first kiss from a boy, the first kiss that he counted as meaningful. Blaine’s first experiences at kissing hadn’t been a fairytale romance, but they hadn’t been a nightmare either. For some reason ‘Kiss Blaine!’ had always been a popular suggestion in the Warblers ‘Truth or Dare’ games, especially when Wes was playing. Blaine’s first kisses had been silly frivolous things shared with his accepting bi-curious friends. Blaine had never considered kisses to be sacred. At least not until the first time he’d kissed Kurt. He hoped Kurt considered that to be his first kiss now. He just hoped it had been enough to take the bad memories away.
Blaine had been struggling with the idea of Kurt tutoring Karofsky since the start of the week. He knew what Kurt was trying to do. This was Kurt’s chance to educate his bully, wasn’t it? Hadn’t that been Blaine’s suggestion from the start? Oh, Blaine was full of good advice like that. Ideas that seemed perfect in theory until reality came crashing down. Hadn’t it been Blaine’s idea to ask Chad out to that Sadie Hawkins dance? Hadn’t Blaine convinced his friend to go with him saying that they needed to show the bullies that they had every right to enjoy a social event too? And hadn’t that night ended with them both sitting in the emergency room with the doctors looking over Chad’s broken nose and Blaine wishing that he had come off worse in the fight...if only so he’d feel less guilty?
Blaine had only liked Chad platonically, but he often wondered if Chad had felt something more for him. His friend had been so scared about coming out and going public at a local dance. But he’d still done it on Blaine’s asking. He’d said ‘okay’ - they would hold hands, they’d dance together. Their friendship had been done as much damage by those fists. When Blaine finally begged his parents to let him transfer he had told them it was the taunts and the name calling that were becoming intolerable. He had never told them he needed to get away because he couldn’t look his best friend in the eye anymore.
When Thursday came, Blaine felt a familiar sense of panic seizing his chest. He’d made a few more attempts to reason with Kurt since Monday. But Kurt didn’t really do discussions. What Kurt did was sit with an imperious look on his face expecting you to present a very compelling argument as to why he might not be right. When you had finished Kurt would look offended, he’d say something to the effect of “I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” and then he’d make a dramatic exit before you could raise any further objections.
There was only one loophole that Blaine had found for those occasions when Kurt refused to listen to him. Blaine had been telling himself all week that he wasn’t going to use it. Not over this. But now it was after school, Kurt had a New Directions rehearsal and Burt Hummel was working late at the tire store. And Blaine was panicking.
This was it. This was his last chance.
And he was taking it.
“Hey Burt...” said Blaine, stepping into the garage, his fists bunched in his pockets.
Blaine still felt awkward saying ‘Burt’, but Kurt’s dad had protested against both ‘Mr Hummel’ and ‘Sir’ which Blaine had tried to use earlier on in their relationship. In a few short months Blaine had built up an adoring respect for this man and felt like he should show him more reverence. From everything that Blaine had heard from Kurt, Burt alone had been a closer and wiser parent than his mom and dad put together.
Burt peered up from an open car hood and frowned at Blaine’s arrival. “Hey...you know that Kurt’s practicing with his Glee club till seven tonight, right?”
“I know, I know. There’s...something I need to speak to you about.”
Burt raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure about that? Because, you know...the last time we had one of these little talks you were telling me I should give my son sex education. Then a week later Kurt came home telling me you suddenly wanted to be his boyfriend...”
Blaine flushed. He felt like he had just walked into a trap.
“I’ll admit my timing was unfortunate...and unintentional.”
“No kidding!” Burt chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t worry...I’m only messing with you. Just don’t go digging yourself into a hole this time, kid...”
“It’s about Karofsky,” said Blaine, just spitting it out.
Burt held his stare, his smile instantly fading. “I’m listening.”
Blaine took a breath and then quickly went over Kurt’s plans for starting a PFLAG chapter at McKinley, explaining how Kurt wanted it to be an offshoot of the new anti-bullying movement at the school and how he wanted Karofsky to help found the club as a form of penance. Burt just nodded, since he was aware of most of these plans already. But his face turned stormy when Blaine said Karofsky was refusing to get involved and Kurt was now offering him English tuition in an attempt to change his mind.
“English lessons?!” Burt spat. “He doesn’t owe that meathead anything!”
“Well, that’s what I said. I’ve been telling Kurt that I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t think...it’s safe.”
Burt sighed. “Look Blaine, I don’t like that Karofsky kid anymore than you do. If I’d had my way we’d have had an expulsion rather than an apology. Even so...we got a confession out of him at that last meeting. He fessed up about the bullying and the threats right in front of his principal. Karofsky’s on a short leash now. He’s not getting any more second chances. One more complaint and he’s out. Figgins gave me his word on that.”
“It’s not just the bullying though,” Blaine blurted. “There’s things the teachers at McKinley don’t know about Karofsky. Things...Kurt never told them...”
Blaine’s nerves had got the better of him. He knew he had said too much. The worry he had been feeling all week just had him babbling and wanting Burt Hummel to fix it all. He hated this feeling. He felt like a stupid little kid who needed an adult to help him. All Blaine knew was he didn’t want this situation with Karofsky to turn bad again. And when he thought back to Chad’s bleeding nose or to Jeremiah getting fired or to Kurt in tears because he’d lost his first kiss to a hateful thug...Blaine couldn’t trust his own judgement anymore. He only trusted that Burt would make the right call and Kurt would listen to his dad.
Burt’s expression was stony and close to anger. “Things? What kind of things? I’m guessing these are things that Kurt never told me either, right?”
Burt slammed down the hood of the car he had been working on. He gestured for Blaine to follow him into his office. Blaine swallowed, bracing himself for a probable interrogation. Once inside Burt found himself a chair to sit and fume in.
“I always knew there was something he wasn’t telling me...” Burt muttered, drumming his fingers on his desk. He looked up at Blaine. “Well then?”
Blaine took a seat, clenching his hands in his lap.
“It’s about why Karofsky was giving Kurt such a hard time. Why he threatened to kill him...the reason he was always trying to...”
Blaine shut his eyes and told himself to stop stalling. There was no nice way to out somebody, even a guy who he hated.
“...he’s gay. Karofsky’s gay and that’s the reason.”
“What?!” Burt snapped like Blaine had made a really tasteless joke.
“He’s...very deeply in the closet,” he said, finding another way to phrase it.
Burt sat and stared, taking that in. After a moment, his lips tightened and he nodded to himself, as if he’d finally seen the logic in a very troubling puzzle.
“Kurt knew?” Burt said at last. “Like...a gaydar thing?”
“Not exactly,” Blaine didn’t know how to begin explaining this part. He wished now he had prepared some kind of lie. As far as he knew, Kurt hadn’t told anyone else about the kiss. This wasn’t his confession to make. He tried to dance around it.
“From what Kurt has told me it seems Karofsky...made a pass at him and after Kurt rejected his advances, he got angry, he was scared that his secret would get out and that’s when he threatened Kurt.”
Burt raised his hand. “Blaine, I’m a simple man. I’m not sure what ‘making a pass’ means at your fancy school, but could you tell me in plain English please?”
Blaine closed his eyes again. “It means...he kissed him.”
Blaine couldn’t look at Burt now so he settled for staring down at his own knotted fingers. He really hoped he was doing the right thing here. He had to be.
“I blame myself, Mr Hummel. I gave Kurt bad advice and I feel...I feel like I put him in that situation. I should’ve told him to stay away from Karofsky. I really think he should stay away from him now. Kurt’s pushing too hard for Karofsky to come out and I don’t think he’ll react well to it. Either that or...Karofsky’s going to get the wrong idea.”
“Don’t sweat it,” said Burt. “Just let me handle this, okay?”
That was all Blaine needed to hear. He could settle on feeling bad that he’d gone behind Kurt’s back and betrayed a few well kept secrets. Blaine could live with that. At his old school when he wasn’t being bullied over his sexuality, he’d had kids calling him a ‘snitch’ for trying to get help from his teachers. Blaine had learned the hard way that teachers often fail to protect kids who are being bullied. But he had faith that a man like Burt could help.
Kurt was still going to be mad with him though. Kurt had been telling Blaine that Karofsky had apologised, that he was sorry for what he’d done. But then...Finn had also told Blaine that Karofsky had apologised to the Glee club and Finn had said it sounded like he was full of crap. If Blaine didn’t trust himself, he trusted Karofsky even less. Maybe Kurt just wanted to see the good in his former bully, like Kurt had wanted to believe the other kids at McKinley would let him enjoy his junior Prom. Blaine didn’t want to see Kurt be wrong again, even it meant Blaine doing something wrong in order to put things right.
“Tell Kurt I’m sorry,” said Blaine, raising his head at last.
Burt nodded his head and looking into the man’s eyes, Blaine believed it would be okay this time. No one would get hurt. They could all just move on.
~*~
3. Finn.
Finn was still getting used to living in a house with full-sized family. There were a lot more voices to hear. And it wasn’t just the extra noise that was the trouble.
Finn would often stumble on conversations that he knew he shouldn’t be listening to, learning things that he really didn’t want to know. Like that time he walked by the lounge and heard his mom complaining to Burt about how she’d “never liked that Quinn girl” and she didn’t know what Finn was thinking taking up with her again after all her lies. A few months before that Finn had been on the landing and had overheard Kurt and Blaine having a lively debate about which New Directions boy was the hottest. Finn had lingered by the door till he heard them both agree on ‘Sam’. Finn’s pride had been a little hurt until he had convinced himself it would have been super weird if either of them had chosen him. He had hurried away before he could hear Kurt and Blaine ranking the Warblers in order of cuteness.
So usually when Finn overheard stuff that he wasn’t meant to know, he’d keep it to himself or he’d try his best to forget about it. Try to put it out of his mind.
Well...there was no way that was happening this time.
Mr Schue had sent Finn home early from Glee practice after he’d bust his ankle trying to copy the sweet new dance move that Mike had been showing them. Finn had decided to stop by at Burt’s tire shop to raid his First Aid kit. But when Finn had arrived his stepdad wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Then he’d heard the voices in Burt’s office. He had recognised Blaine’s voice right away. Blaine seemed to like talking to Burt a lot. Finn thought maybe Blaine liked to treat Burt as a second father too. Finn had been about to open the door and say ‘Hey’ to them both when he’d stopped. And he’d stood at the door. And he’d listened.
Finn had needed to stagger out of the tire shop real quick, pain shooting up his leg, when he had heard the scrape of chairs signalling Blaine and Burt leaving the office. When he got home all the things he’d heard were still buzzing around his head. Kurt had gone directly up to his room after rehearsals. Burt had followed him upstairs and tried to talk but Kurt had insisted that he had a lot of homework to finish and there was his moisturizing routine to find time for too. So Finn had waited until 11:30 after their parents had turned in.
It was Kurt’s habit to bring Finn a mug of warm milk before he went to bed. When it was getting close to midnight Finn went to heat the milk himself. He placed both their cups on a tray and stepped into Kurt’s room, being careful not to spill. He found Kurt wearing his silk pyjamas and sitting cross-legged on his mattress, surrounded by papers. Finn looked a little closer and he saw this wasn’t homework, but pamphlets on that Gay Flag group that Kurt wanted to start. Kurt tried to tidy them away as Finn set down the milk mugs.
“I thought you were asleep,” Kurt flustered. “Didn’t you sprain your ankle? Usually when you’ve hurt yourself you refuse to move and Carole has to wait on you.”
Finn shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt so bad now I’ve got one of those support bandages,” He smiled eagerly as Kurt sipped his milk. “How is it...am I getting better?”
Kurt winced, brushing away the foamy white skin that clung to his lip. “It’s a little overdone, but you’ve not turned it into meringue this time. Thanks Finn. Sorry I haven’t had time to talk tonight. The first week of senior year; the beginning of the end! So much to accomplish...”
“Thing is, dude...” said Finn, settling on Kurt’s couch. “We really need to talk. Remember how at the wedding I promised I’d always have your back? Well, I’m trying to make good on that promise now. So...just let me have a brotherly moment here, okay?”
Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Is this going to involve hugging? Because I’m only agreeing to that if you’ve showered. And used that exfoliating body scrub I gave you.”
Finn ignored the dig at his personal hygiene and pushed on.
“I think you need to watch out. Blaine visited your dad at the shop after school today. I heard them talking about stuff. Serious stuff. I think they’re planning some sort of intervention. Something about you and Karofsky and a library study group...”
Finn didn’t need to say anything more than that. Kurt clenched his teeth and then flung himself back against his pillows in unbridled frustration.
“Of course he told my dad!” Kurt muttered, punching his mattress. “Why wouldn’t he? They agree on everything!” Kurt growled at little and then pulled himself upright. “Fine. I’ll just have to tell Dad the same thing over breakfast as I’ve been telling Blaine all week long...that Karofsky has changed for the better and I’m on a mission to see the same kind of progress spreads through the school as a whole. Is that really so bad?”
Finn shrugged. “I’m with you, dude. It’d be sweet if Karofsky and all the other guys at McKinley could stop seeing ‘gay’ as something wrong. But, you know...I really thought Karofsky had changed when the team helped out with the halftime show. But after we won the big game he just went back to being an asshole again.”
Finn cringed a little. He’d never told Kurt that he had tried to make friends with Dave that week. Part of him had felt like a traitor to his brother for every moment that he hadn’t spent kicking Karofsky in the nuts. But then Finn could also remember when he and Karofsky had been in middle school together. He remembered how Karofsky got his growth spurt late; how he used to be this quiet little chubby kid who was good at math and always got picked last for sports. How Puck used to tease him and Finn used to laugh. Finn knew he had been an ass before Glee club too. He had to believe that others could change.
“Don’t worry,” said Kurt, breaking into his thoughts. “I’m not getting my hopes up too much. I’ll always be prepared for the possibility of Karofsky relapsing into ignorance. But if I want change people’s views at McKinley then I need him. Unless you think you’ve still got enough social standing to promote our PFLAG chapter to the jocks?”
Finn swallowed. He now had a very scary image in his head of Kurt handing him rainbow coloured flyers and asking him to pass them out in the locker room. If Finn thought that was a suicide mission then Karofsky would surely...well...
“Dude, there’s more...” said Finn, coming to the really awkward part of their brother talk. “Blaine and your dad were talking for quite a long time. I heard some stuff I don’t think I was supposed to know...I’m not even sure if I heard it right.”
“What are you babbling about, Finn?” Kurt asked impatiently.
Finn squirmed. “Dude...did...” He paused for what seemed like forever.
“What?” said Kurt; suddenly apprehensive.
“...did you kiss Karofsky?” he finished.
Kurt’s expression iced over. “Get out of my room.”
And then Kurt actually got to his feet looking like he might attempt to physically throw Finn out of his bedroom despite Finn being way too big to throw.
“Kurt, wait...wait! All I heard was Blaine saying ‘He kissed him’. They were talking about you and Karofsky. I’m sorry. I must’ve heard them wrong. Kurt, please...I don’t want mom and Burt to wake up. And seriously...you’re hurting my arm!”
Kurt released his grip and let Finn sink back onto the couch, but he still seemed enraged. He leaned in closer, lowering his voice into an angry hiss.
“He kissed me, Finn,” said Kurt. “I wasn’t expecting it, I didn’t agree to it and nobody was supposed to know about it. I only ever told Blaine and..."
Finn was busy reeling. “So Karofsky really is gay? I mean...I once had the idea that he might be...because he never seemed to have a girlfriend. But then he started dating Santana and you have to be super straight to date a smoking chick like her, right?”
Kurt wasn’t listening. His eyes had gone all distant.
“Blaine told my dad?” Kurt murmured.
He sank slowly onto the mattress. He closed his eyes for a moment then reached for a page of his PFLAG starter pack and screwed it into a tight ball.
“It’s over then,” he said. “Blaine and my dad will agree that Dave is a crazy sexual predator and I’m too much of a damsel in distress to fend him off.”
With these words Kurt sounded deeply bitter but not at all surprised.
Finn frowned. “So Karofsky really is into you then?”
Kurt rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “How would I know?”
Finn squinted, unsure why he’d have to explain this. “Well...can’t you tell? I mean, from the way he stares at you? And the fact that he...totally kissed you.”
Kurt’s stare drifted down from the ceiling and settled on the far wall.
“Because all of us gay guys are crazy stalkers who don’t understand that no means no,” Kurt muttered under his breath. “Isn’t that right, Finn?”
“Dude...no! I wasn’t talking about that. Don’t let’s talk about that.”
“It might help actually...” said Kurt, with a calmness in his voice that freaked Finn out a little. “Did you ever think that I was going to try to kiss you?”
Finn sighed. “I guess not. I mean, it used to be you’d only ever hug the girls and wouldn’t get too close to us guys. So I didn’t think that you’d...do anything. Except stare at me. Which was freaky and awkward. It was the feelings that made it intense.”
Kurt’s cheeks flushed and he wouldn’t look at him. He could never look at Finn when they were talking about this. They almost never talked about it anymore, since they were brothers now and that made the issue super creepy for both of them.
“Why didn’t you stop it?” Kurt asked in a quiet voice. “Why did you let it go on so long?”
Finn shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t want you to get upset or mad. I always really liked you as a friend and I didn’t want to screw that up, even though I almost did. But also...I guess...you were always saying you thought I was cool. Like...everything I did you’d say nice things about me. And that felt good, especially on days when Quinn or Rachel were yelling at me. It made me feel like a hero or something. Like I could already imagine you as my little brother, looking up to me...”
Finn smiled, thinking of the day he had pulled on red rubber dress and took a stand against Karofsky and his jerk friend, just so Kurt might look at him like he was a decent person again.
“I’m happy things worked out the way they did,” Finn concluded. “With you and me, and mom and Burt...it’s what I wanted. Even if you don’t think I’m cool anymore.”
Kurt finally met his stare. “Actually Finn Hudson you can still be very cool sometimes.” He rubbed his eyes. “I need sleep...whatever tomorrow is going to bring.”
“I got your back,” Finn reminded him.
Finn held up his fist. Kurt blinked at it in confusion and then held up his hand for a high five. Finn patiently reached over and closed Kurt’s fingers over his palm. Then they bumped knuckles and Kurt actually managed a smile.
“Don’t worry about me,” Kurt said. “Just watch out for Blaine or my dad or both of them showing up at school tomorrow. If they don’t say or do anything then I’m going ahead with my study group. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to try. But I’ve got a really horrible feeling my dad is going to go to Figgins and tell him about the kiss...which would mean outing Dave and then me keeping his secret will have all been for nothing. I’m also worried Blaine might get it into his head to attempt another bully confrontation. Him and Dave came close to blows the night of the benefit. If they got into a fight...Blaine would get beaten to a pulp and Dave would get himself expelled. I don’t want that for either of them.”
Finn nodded along to Kurt’s rapid stream of thoughts. He didn’t know how to keep up with him sometimes. His mind worked fast and his words sometimes blurred together. Finn could only nod and hope that Kurt knew what he was doing.
“Whatever you need, dude...I’m there.”
Part Two...
Characters: Kurt, Blaine, Dave, Finn, Burt and Paul Karofsky.
Ships: Kurt/Blaine, unrequited Kurt/Dave, mentions of unrequited Kurt/Finn.
Genre: Angst, family drama, flawed relationships and one-sided romance.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Discussions on harassment.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Ryan, Ian & Brad.
Author's note: This is my first major stab at writing Glee fic. At the end of S2 I decided that I'd really like to write a story exploring Dave Karofsky's infatuation with Kurt. I also wanted to write a fic where Kurt's family found out about the locker room kiss. This story involves both those things.
Beta: lenina20 I both thank you and blame you entirely for this fic ;)
We Rule the School
1. Kurt.
The first day of his senior year at McKinley, Kurt had it on his agenda to corner Dave Karofsky. He’d needed to wait until Dave was alone by his locker and then catch him before he headed off to the cafeteria. Dave actually flinched when Kurt approached. Kurt would’ve laughed at the irony only...only it really wasn’t that funny.
“What do you want?” asked Dave, already looking like he wanted to hide.
Kurt straightened his shoulders, all business. “We have some planning to do.”
He opened his ring-binder folder to display the paperwork sent to him by the PFLAG Board of Directors, along with the sex education pamphlets his dad had picked up from the clinic and some flyers advertising the Trevor Project’s number and a list of other help-lines.
“This ought to be enough to make a start,” said Kurt. “I applied for the introduction pack before the summer, but what with Nationals and exams there wasn’t time to...”
“Are you fucking serious with this?!” Karofsky hissed at him.
“What?” said Kurt; forcing his voice to sound light and airy as if he really hadn’t expected to encounter any resistance. “I thought we’d agreed to this, David?”
Dave shook his head in disgust and turned away. For a moment Kurt thought he was just going to leave him standing in the hallway clutching his carefully catalogued folder of LGBT resources. Then Dave drew level with the boy’s locker room door and nodded for Kurt to follow him. Trying not to think too hard about the last time he’d followed Dave into this particular location, Kurt clasped his folder to his chest and hurried after him.
“I can’t,” Dave said, the moment that Kurt closed the door. “I know I said I would...but with all the talk that it would cause...this isn’t a good time. Santana broke it off with me at the end of junior year, so I don’t even have that anymore. I just can’t...”
Kurt nodded, though he wasn’t prepared to let this go in the slightest.
“Dave, I know you’re nervous. But it’s not just going to be you and me waving rainbow flags in the halls. It’s family and friends too, remember? Finn’s going to be there. And Brittany said she’d like to join. Rachel’s promised that she’s going to get one of her dads to come in and do a talk with us, even though they are a very reclusive couple...”
Dave swallowed. “Are you going to tell if I don’t come?”
Kurt looked into the jock’s fearful eyes and briefly considered using blackmail to get his way. But it was only a fleeting temptation. He knew better than to play empty threats with Dave.
“No,” he answered at last. “You know that.” He sighed. “I just think you’d feel better if you told people. It’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be. I mean...you’re out to me now, aren’t you? Here we are. We’re talking about this and you’re not trying to deny it anymore. I know you’re still thinking ‘I can’t, I can’t...’ I get that, I really do. But at least you’re admitting this to me, right? At least you’re okay with me knowing that...”
“Yeah, whatever,” Dave snorted, pretending to look for something inside his locker.
Kurt knew the ‘broken record’ comments were coming but he still persisted.
“Maybe you could try telling your parents next?” he suggested. “They might surprise you. They might’ve figured it out already. My dad knew about me.”
Dave rolled his eyes. “Everyone knew about you.”
Kurt bit his lip. While he was aware that he had only ever been hiding in a glass closet, he still resented the implication that it had somehow been easier for him to say certain things out loud for the first time, confirming them to himself and to others. As if Kurt didn’t deserve credit for coming out. Like he wasn’t brave; he was just obvious.
“Yes, everyone always knew there was at least one gay kid at McKinley,” he rebuffed. “And here I am in my final year and none of the others have had the guts to join me in the free air. I’m not just talking about you, David. Statistically we can’t be the only ones.”
“No, we’re not...” Dave muttered, shaking his head again. “But what makes you think the others will want to come out to join your little queer-loving cult?”
Kurt took a breath. “You could make a difference, Dave. You could really change the attitudes at this school. Me? I’m the circus freak. I’m the lady-boy from Glee club. They make fun of me. But you? You run with the jocks. You’re part of the popular crowd. They voted you their king. Doesn’t that mean you get to make the laws? If you say that being gay is okay then maybe they’ll accept it?” Kurt paused and then added. “Especially with your ‘queen’ backing you up. I mean, whatever the obnoxious reasons behind their votes, they still gave us those crowns. Surely that means we rule the school now.”
Kurt was only realising now that he hadn’t spoken to Dave since Prom. Kurt still had to persuade himself to feel good about the events of that evening; to feel proud that he laughed off the humiliation and enjoyed the rest of the night with his dreamy boyfriend. But thinking back to that royalty result...Kurt really wanted to shake Dave and tell him to quit being such a baby. Kurt was the one who had to get up on stage in front of a crowd of people who hated him. He was the one who’d been given a girl’s crown and had his principal call him a queen. Then there had been the final indignity of being asked to dance with the same boy who had bullied him so badly he had changed schools. If Kurt could withstand all that and still be ready to dance why couldn’t Dave just man up for a change?
Dave was still shaking his head and blinking at him in confusion.
“Why is this so important to you?” he asked.
Because you owe me, thought Kurt.
“Because...you just seem so miserable,” was what he settled on.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that now. Get on with your life. Let me do the same. I don’t have time for PFLAG or for that stupid Bully Whips club anymore.”
“It wasn’t stupid!” Kurt objected. “Well, the hats were stupid. But in principle...”
“I’m flunking English,” Dave blurted out. “Happy now? I screwed up on all my papers last semester. I’m going to have to get a tutor and my dad might not let me play football this year because that one fucking grade is going to drag down my chances of getting into any kind of a good college. Any chances of getting out of this town and maybe...”
Dave fell silent, his shoulders slumping, but Kurt could tell where his thoughts had been headed. If Dave could leave for another town; a bigger town, maybe a more accepting town, then perhaps he could escape the closet too? He could be himself at long last.
“I can help you,” said Kurt, barely thinking. “I’m sure you can tell by my eloquence and cultivation that English is one of my strongest subjects. I could be your tutor. God knows, I’ve had enough experience helping Finn with his homework. And you could help me too. I got a B- on a math test last year. I know you take Calculus, so...”
Dave frowned. “Are you serious?”
Kurt shrugged. He supposed he was.
“Meet me in the library this Friday after school. They’ll be nobody around. Kids can’t leave this place fast enough on the weekend. We can have a study session then maybe even...” He raised his PFLAG folder, “...read through some of this together?”
For a moment, Kurt thought he might have blown it by dragging everything back to his big blatant gay agenda. But Dave didn’t flinch this time. He just put his hands in his pockets, bowing his head and tucking in his neck like a shy turtle.
“Yeah okay...” said Dave. “Cool.”
Kurt nodded and turned on his heels. He left the locker room thinking that had been quite a progression for both of them. He’d been alone in Dave’s company. There had been no talk of bullying or death threats. Neither of them had ended up crying. Maybe last year really was behind them now? It was like Kurt was talking to a different boy. That’s why he made a point of calling him Dave or David now. It was Karofsky who he hated. Karofsky...that sweaty ignorant bully who had made Kurt’s life a living hell. Karofsky was nothing now. He was beaten. He was crippled. And if Dave could just find the courage to be honest about who he really was then that vile old bully would be chased away for good.
And that was something to aim for, right? Kurt felt certain it was a worthy cause for both of them. Or at least he did before he explained his plan to Blaine.
“Are you serious?” said Blaine in the same appalled tone that Dave had used when Kurt had showed him his folder full of colourful PFLAG materials.
Once again Kurt had met his boyfriend at the Lima Bean after school. They were only just sitting down with their medium drips. Sam and Mercedes would be joining them shortly so they had no time for a lengthy debate over this, let alone an argument.
“I want this to work,” said Kurt. “It’s my last year at McKinley, Blaine. I’d like to leave that school with something to show for it...a legacy for future gay kids maybe. The fact is if I start up this PFLAG chapter with just me and the Glee club, it’ll be seen as another sissy loser group and nobody else will join. If Dave gets involved at least there’ll be some diversity. I’m almost there, Blaine. A few study sessions and I think I’ll change his mind.”
Blaine leaned his head against his palm, rubbing at one of his temples.
“Kurt, you’re talking about being alone, after school...with Dave Karofsky.”
“What? He’s not going to beat me up, Blaine. The bullying has stopped. I’m safe now. This is just an opportunity for me to get him to open up about his sexuality.”
“Yes and that’s what I’m worried about!” said Blaine, his eyes wide and incredulous. “Kurt, you remember how you found out that Karofsky is gay, right?”
Kurt sipped his coffee. It tasted bitter. He’d forgotten to put sweetner in it. He took a long time swallowing, not wishing to continue this line of conversation.
“Yes Blaine, I think I can vaguely recall,” he said at last.
“So you realise this isn’t just a gay guy who needs your help,” Blaine continued. “He’s a gay guy who is interested in you. In fact, judging by his previous behaviour...he may have a very unhealthy infatuation with you.”
“Well, what if he does?” Kurt answered flippantly. “That’s his issue. It’s not like I’m going to cheat on you with him of all people.”
“And I’m saying...you can’t be sure this guy will take ‘no’ for an answer.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Okay Blaine, what if I take my rape whistle and ask Miss Miriam the librarian to be ready to protect my virtue?” Blaine opened his mouth to speak but Kurt cut him off. “Don’t start. Mercedes and Sam will be here any minute.”
Blaine sighed and slumped back in his chair. “I don’t get it,” he muttered. “You used to be afraid of him. You used to hate him. You don’t owe him anything, Kurt.”
Kurt shrugged again and sipped his coffee.
He owes me, he thought.
~*~
2. Blaine.
Karofsky would always be the guy who stole Kurt’s first kiss.
Technically Blaine knew there were worse things that Karofsky had done; the physical menacing, the hateful gay slurs and finally the death threat that had forced Kurt out of McKinley. The kiss really shouldn’t be the thing that bothered him most. But it was.
Kurt had been so upset when he had confided in Blaine. It was his first kiss from a boy, the first kiss that he counted as meaningful. Blaine’s first experiences at kissing hadn’t been a fairytale romance, but they hadn’t been a nightmare either. For some reason ‘Kiss Blaine!’ had always been a popular suggestion in the Warblers ‘Truth or Dare’ games, especially when Wes was playing. Blaine’s first kisses had been silly frivolous things shared with his accepting bi-curious friends. Blaine had never considered kisses to be sacred. At least not until the first time he’d kissed Kurt. He hoped Kurt considered that to be his first kiss now. He just hoped it had been enough to take the bad memories away.
Blaine had been struggling with the idea of Kurt tutoring Karofsky since the start of the week. He knew what Kurt was trying to do. This was Kurt’s chance to educate his bully, wasn’t it? Hadn’t that been Blaine’s suggestion from the start? Oh, Blaine was full of good advice like that. Ideas that seemed perfect in theory until reality came crashing down. Hadn’t it been Blaine’s idea to ask Chad out to that Sadie Hawkins dance? Hadn’t Blaine convinced his friend to go with him saying that they needed to show the bullies that they had every right to enjoy a social event too? And hadn’t that night ended with them both sitting in the emergency room with the doctors looking over Chad’s broken nose and Blaine wishing that he had come off worse in the fight...if only so he’d feel less guilty?
Blaine had only liked Chad platonically, but he often wondered if Chad had felt something more for him. His friend had been so scared about coming out and going public at a local dance. But he’d still done it on Blaine’s asking. He’d said ‘okay’ - they would hold hands, they’d dance together. Their friendship had been done as much damage by those fists. When Blaine finally begged his parents to let him transfer he had told them it was the taunts and the name calling that were becoming intolerable. He had never told them he needed to get away because he couldn’t look his best friend in the eye anymore.
When Thursday came, Blaine felt a familiar sense of panic seizing his chest. He’d made a few more attempts to reason with Kurt since Monday. But Kurt didn’t really do discussions. What Kurt did was sit with an imperious look on his face expecting you to present a very compelling argument as to why he might not be right. When you had finished Kurt would look offended, he’d say something to the effect of “I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” and then he’d make a dramatic exit before you could raise any further objections.
There was only one loophole that Blaine had found for those occasions when Kurt refused to listen to him. Blaine had been telling himself all week that he wasn’t going to use it. Not over this. But now it was after school, Kurt had a New Directions rehearsal and Burt Hummel was working late at the tire store. And Blaine was panicking.
This was it. This was his last chance.
And he was taking it.
“Hey Burt...” said Blaine, stepping into the garage, his fists bunched in his pockets.
Blaine still felt awkward saying ‘Burt’, but Kurt’s dad had protested against both ‘Mr Hummel’ and ‘Sir’ which Blaine had tried to use earlier on in their relationship. In a few short months Blaine had built up an adoring respect for this man and felt like he should show him more reverence. From everything that Blaine had heard from Kurt, Burt alone had been a closer and wiser parent than his mom and dad put together.
Burt peered up from an open car hood and frowned at Blaine’s arrival. “Hey...you know that Kurt’s practicing with his Glee club till seven tonight, right?”
“I know, I know. There’s...something I need to speak to you about.”
Burt raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure about that? Because, you know...the last time we had one of these little talks you were telling me I should give my son sex education. Then a week later Kurt came home telling me you suddenly wanted to be his boyfriend...”
Blaine flushed. He felt like he had just walked into a trap.
“I’ll admit my timing was unfortunate...and unintentional.”
“No kidding!” Burt chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t worry...I’m only messing with you. Just don’t go digging yourself into a hole this time, kid...”
“It’s about Karofsky,” said Blaine, just spitting it out.
Burt held his stare, his smile instantly fading. “I’m listening.”
Blaine took a breath and then quickly went over Kurt’s plans for starting a PFLAG chapter at McKinley, explaining how Kurt wanted it to be an offshoot of the new anti-bullying movement at the school and how he wanted Karofsky to help found the club as a form of penance. Burt just nodded, since he was aware of most of these plans already. But his face turned stormy when Blaine said Karofsky was refusing to get involved and Kurt was now offering him English tuition in an attempt to change his mind.
“English lessons?!” Burt spat. “He doesn’t owe that meathead anything!”
“Well, that’s what I said. I’ve been telling Kurt that I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t think...it’s safe.”
Burt sighed. “Look Blaine, I don’t like that Karofsky kid anymore than you do. If I’d had my way we’d have had an expulsion rather than an apology. Even so...we got a confession out of him at that last meeting. He fessed up about the bullying and the threats right in front of his principal. Karofsky’s on a short leash now. He’s not getting any more second chances. One more complaint and he’s out. Figgins gave me his word on that.”
“It’s not just the bullying though,” Blaine blurted. “There’s things the teachers at McKinley don’t know about Karofsky. Things...Kurt never told them...”
Blaine’s nerves had got the better of him. He knew he had said too much. The worry he had been feeling all week just had him babbling and wanting Burt Hummel to fix it all. He hated this feeling. He felt like a stupid little kid who needed an adult to help him. All Blaine knew was he didn’t want this situation with Karofsky to turn bad again. And when he thought back to Chad’s bleeding nose or to Jeremiah getting fired or to Kurt in tears because he’d lost his first kiss to a hateful thug...Blaine couldn’t trust his own judgement anymore. He only trusted that Burt would make the right call and Kurt would listen to his dad.
Burt’s expression was stony and close to anger. “Things? What kind of things? I’m guessing these are things that Kurt never told me either, right?”
Burt slammed down the hood of the car he had been working on. He gestured for Blaine to follow him into his office. Blaine swallowed, bracing himself for a probable interrogation. Once inside Burt found himself a chair to sit and fume in.
“I always knew there was something he wasn’t telling me...” Burt muttered, drumming his fingers on his desk. He looked up at Blaine. “Well then?”
Blaine took a seat, clenching his hands in his lap.
“It’s about why Karofsky was giving Kurt such a hard time. Why he threatened to kill him...the reason he was always trying to...”
Blaine shut his eyes and told himself to stop stalling. There was no nice way to out somebody, even a guy who he hated.
“...he’s gay. Karofsky’s gay and that’s the reason.”
“What?!” Burt snapped like Blaine had made a really tasteless joke.
“He’s...very deeply in the closet,” he said, finding another way to phrase it.
Burt sat and stared, taking that in. After a moment, his lips tightened and he nodded to himself, as if he’d finally seen the logic in a very troubling puzzle.
“Kurt knew?” Burt said at last. “Like...a gaydar thing?”
“Not exactly,” Blaine didn’t know how to begin explaining this part. He wished now he had prepared some kind of lie. As far as he knew, Kurt hadn’t told anyone else about the kiss. This wasn’t his confession to make. He tried to dance around it.
“From what Kurt has told me it seems Karofsky...made a pass at him and after Kurt rejected his advances, he got angry, he was scared that his secret would get out and that’s when he threatened Kurt.”
Burt raised his hand. “Blaine, I’m a simple man. I’m not sure what ‘making a pass’ means at your fancy school, but could you tell me in plain English please?”
Blaine closed his eyes again. “It means...he kissed him.”
Blaine couldn’t look at Burt now so he settled for staring down at his own knotted fingers. He really hoped he was doing the right thing here. He had to be.
“I blame myself, Mr Hummel. I gave Kurt bad advice and I feel...I feel like I put him in that situation. I should’ve told him to stay away from Karofsky. I really think he should stay away from him now. Kurt’s pushing too hard for Karofsky to come out and I don’t think he’ll react well to it. Either that or...Karofsky’s going to get the wrong idea.”
“Don’t sweat it,” said Burt. “Just let me handle this, okay?”
That was all Blaine needed to hear. He could settle on feeling bad that he’d gone behind Kurt’s back and betrayed a few well kept secrets. Blaine could live with that. At his old school when he wasn’t being bullied over his sexuality, he’d had kids calling him a ‘snitch’ for trying to get help from his teachers. Blaine had learned the hard way that teachers often fail to protect kids who are being bullied. But he had faith that a man like Burt could help.
Kurt was still going to be mad with him though. Kurt had been telling Blaine that Karofsky had apologised, that he was sorry for what he’d done. But then...Finn had also told Blaine that Karofsky had apologised to the Glee club and Finn had said it sounded like he was full of crap. If Blaine didn’t trust himself, he trusted Karofsky even less. Maybe Kurt just wanted to see the good in his former bully, like Kurt had wanted to believe the other kids at McKinley would let him enjoy his junior Prom. Blaine didn’t want to see Kurt be wrong again, even it meant Blaine doing something wrong in order to put things right.
“Tell Kurt I’m sorry,” said Blaine, raising his head at last.
Burt nodded his head and looking into the man’s eyes, Blaine believed it would be okay this time. No one would get hurt. They could all just move on.
~*~
3. Finn.
Finn was still getting used to living in a house with full-sized family. There were a lot more voices to hear. And it wasn’t just the extra noise that was the trouble.
Finn would often stumble on conversations that he knew he shouldn’t be listening to, learning things that he really didn’t want to know. Like that time he walked by the lounge and heard his mom complaining to Burt about how she’d “never liked that Quinn girl” and she didn’t know what Finn was thinking taking up with her again after all her lies. A few months before that Finn had been on the landing and had overheard Kurt and Blaine having a lively debate about which New Directions boy was the hottest. Finn had lingered by the door till he heard them both agree on ‘Sam’. Finn’s pride had been a little hurt until he had convinced himself it would have been super weird if either of them had chosen him. He had hurried away before he could hear Kurt and Blaine ranking the Warblers in order of cuteness.
So usually when Finn overheard stuff that he wasn’t meant to know, he’d keep it to himself or he’d try his best to forget about it. Try to put it out of his mind.
Well...there was no way that was happening this time.
Mr Schue had sent Finn home early from Glee practice after he’d bust his ankle trying to copy the sweet new dance move that Mike had been showing them. Finn had decided to stop by at Burt’s tire shop to raid his First Aid kit. But when Finn had arrived his stepdad wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Then he’d heard the voices in Burt’s office. He had recognised Blaine’s voice right away. Blaine seemed to like talking to Burt a lot. Finn thought maybe Blaine liked to treat Burt as a second father too. Finn had been about to open the door and say ‘Hey’ to them both when he’d stopped. And he’d stood at the door. And he’d listened.
Finn had needed to stagger out of the tire shop real quick, pain shooting up his leg, when he had heard the scrape of chairs signalling Blaine and Burt leaving the office. When he got home all the things he’d heard were still buzzing around his head. Kurt had gone directly up to his room after rehearsals. Burt had followed him upstairs and tried to talk but Kurt had insisted that he had a lot of homework to finish and there was his moisturizing routine to find time for too. So Finn had waited until 11:30 after their parents had turned in.
It was Kurt’s habit to bring Finn a mug of warm milk before he went to bed. When it was getting close to midnight Finn went to heat the milk himself. He placed both their cups on a tray and stepped into Kurt’s room, being careful not to spill. He found Kurt wearing his silk pyjamas and sitting cross-legged on his mattress, surrounded by papers. Finn looked a little closer and he saw this wasn’t homework, but pamphlets on that Gay Flag group that Kurt wanted to start. Kurt tried to tidy them away as Finn set down the milk mugs.
“I thought you were asleep,” Kurt flustered. “Didn’t you sprain your ankle? Usually when you’ve hurt yourself you refuse to move and Carole has to wait on you.”
Finn shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt so bad now I’ve got one of those support bandages,” He smiled eagerly as Kurt sipped his milk. “How is it...am I getting better?”
Kurt winced, brushing away the foamy white skin that clung to his lip. “It’s a little overdone, but you’ve not turned it into meringue this time. Thanks Finn. Sorry I haven’t had time to talk tonight. The first week of senior year; the beginning of the end! So much to accomplish...”
“Thing is, dude...” said Finn, settling on Kurt’s couch. “We really need to talk. Remember how at the wedding I promised I’d always have your back? Well, I’m trying to make good on that promise now. So...just let me have a brotherly moment here, okay?”
Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Is this going to involve hugging? Because I’m only agreeing to that if you’ve showered. And used that exfoliating body scrub I gave you.”
Finn ignored the dig at his personal hygiene and pushed on.
“I think you need to watch out. Blaine visited your dad at the shop after school today. I heard them talking about stuff. Serious stuff. I think they’re planning some sort of intervention. Something about you and Karofsky and a library study group...”
Finn didn’t need to say anything more than that. Kurt clenched his teeth and then flung himself back against his pillows in unbridled frustration.
“Of course he told my dad!” Kurt muttered, punching his mattress. “Why wouldn’t he? They agree on everything!” Kurt growled at little and then pulled himself upright. “Fine. I’ll just have to tell Dad the same thing over breakfast as I’ve been telling Blaine all week long...that Karofsky has changed for the better and I’m on a mission to see the same kind of progress spreads through the school as a whole. Is that really so bad?”
Finn shrugged. “I’m with you, dude. It’d be sweet if Karofsky and all the other guys at McKinley could stop seeing ‘gay’ as something wrong. But, you know...I really thought Karofsky had changed when the team helped out with the halftime show. But after we won the big game he just went back to being an asshole again.”
Finn cringed a little. He’d never told Kurt that he had tried to make friends with Dave that week. Part of him had felt like a traitor to his brother for every moment that he hadn’t spent kicking Karofsky in the nuts. But then Finn could also remember when he and Karofsky had been in middle school together. He remembered how Karofsky got his growth spurt late; how he used to be this quiet little chubby kid who was good at math and always got picked last for sports. How Puck used to tease him and Finn used to laugh. Finn knew he had been an ass before Glee club too. He had to believe that others could change.
“Don’t worry,” said Kurt, breaking into his thoughts. “I’m not getting my hopes up too much. I’ll always be prepared for the possibility of Karofsky relapsing into ignorance. But if I want change people’s views at McKinley then I need him. Unless you think you’ve still got enough social standing to promote our PFLAG chapter to the jocks?”
Finn swallowed. He now had a very scary image in his head of Kurt handing him rainbow coloured flyers and asking him to pass them out in the locker room. If Finn thought that was a suicide mission then Karofsky would surely...well...
“Dude, there’s more...” said Finn, coming to the really awkward part of their brother talk. “Blaine and your dad were talking for quite a long time. I heard some stuff I don’t think I was supposed to know...I’m not even sure if I heard it right.”
“What are you babbling about, Finn?” Kurt asked impatiently.
Finn squirmed. “Dude...did...” He paused for what seemed like forever.
“What?” said Kurt; suddenly apprehensive.
“...did you kiss Karofsky?” he finished.
Kurt’s expression iced over. “Get out of my room.”
And then Kurt actually got to his feet looking like he might attempt to physically throw Finn out of his bedroom despite Finn being way too big to throw.
“Kurt, wait...wait! All I heard was Blaine saying ‘He kissed him’. They were talking about you and Karofsky. I’m sorry. I must’ve heard them wrong. Kurt, please...I don’t want mom and Burt to wake up. And seriously...you’re hurting my arm!”
Kurt released his grip and let Finn sink back onto the couch, but he still seemed enraged. He leaned in closer, lowering his voice into an angry hiss.
“He kissed me, Finn,” said Kurt. “I wasn’t expecting it, I didn’t agree to it and nobody was supposed to know about it. I only ever told Blaine and..."
Finn was busy reeling. “So Karofsky really is gay? I mean...I once had the idea that he might be...because he never seemed to have a girlfriend. But then he started dating Santana and you have to be super straight to date a smoking chick like her, right?”
Kurt wasn’t listening. His eyes had gone all distant.
“Blaine told my dad?” Kurt murmured.
He sank slowly onto the mattress. He closed his eyes for a moment then reached for a page of his PFLAG starter pack and screwed it into a tight ball.
“It’s over then,” he said. “Blaine and my dad will agree that Dave is a crazy sexual predator and I’m too much of a damsel in distress to fend him off.”
With these words Kurt sounded deeply bitter but not at all surprised.
Finn frowned. “So Karofsky really is into you then?”
Kurt rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “How would I know?”
Finn squinted, unsure why he’d have to explain this. “Well...can’t you tell? I mean, from the way he stares at you? And the fact that he...totally kissed you.”
Kurt’s stare drifted down from the ceiling and settled on the far wall.
“Because all of us gay guys are crazy stalkers who don’t understand that no means no,” Kurt muttered under his breath. “Isn’t that right, Finn?”
“Dude...no! I wasn’t talking about that. Don’t let’s talk about that.”
“It might help actually...” said Kurt, with a calmness in his voice that freaked Finn out a little. “Did you ever think that I was going to try to kiss you?”
Finn sighed. “I guess not. I mean, it used to be you’d only ever hug the girls and wouldn’t get too close to us guys. So I didn’t think that you’d...do anything. Except stare at me. Which was freaky and awkward. It was the feelings that made it intense.”
Kurt’s cheeks flushed and he wouldn’t look at him. He could never look at Finn when they were talking about this. They almost never talked about it anymore, since they were brothers now and that made the issue super creepy for both of them.
“Why didn’t you stop it?” Kurt asked in a quiet voice. “Why did you let it go on so long?”
Finn shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t want you to get upset or mad. I always really liked you as a friend and I didn’t want to screw that up, even though I almost did. But also...I guess...you were always saying you thought I was cool. Like...everything I did you’d say nice things about me. And that felt good, especially on days when Quinn or Rachel were yelling at me. It made me feel like a hero or something. Like I could already imagine you as my little brother, looking up to me...”
Finn smiled, thinking of the day he had pulled on red rubber dress and took a stand against Karofsky and his jerk friend, just so Kurt might look at him like he was a decent person again.
“I’m happy things worked out the way they did,” Finn concluded. “With you and me, and mom and Burt...it’s what I wanted. Even if you don’t think I’m cool anymore.”
Kurt finally met his stare. “Actually Finn Hudson you can still be very cool sometimes.” He rubbed his eyes. “I need sleep...whatever tomorrow is going to bring.”
“I got your back,” Finn reminded him.
Finn held up his fist. Kurt blinked at it in confusion and then held up his hand for a high five. Finn patiently reached over and closed Kurt’s fingers over his palm. Then they bumped knuckles and Kurt actually managed a smile.
“Don’t worry about me,” Kurt said. “Just watch out for Blaine or my dad or both of them showing up at school tomorrow. If they don’t say or do anything then I’m going ahead with my study group. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to try. But I’ve got a really horrible feeling my dad is going to go to Figgins and tell him about the kiss...which would mean outing Dave and then me keeping his secret will have all been for nothing. I’m also worried Blaine might get it into his head to attempt another bully confrontation. Him and Dave came close to blows the night of the benefit. If they got into a fight...Blaine would get beaten to a pulp and Dave would get himself expelled. I don’t want that for either of them.”
Finn nodded along to Kurt’s rapid stream of thoughts. He didn’t know how to keep up with him sometimes. His mind worked fast and his words sometimes blurred together. Finn could only nod and hope that Kurt knew what he was doing.
“Whatever you need, dude...I’m there.”
Part Two...