Take Root.
I looked forward to this past weekend as much as I would look forward to having surgery on an in-grown toenail.. But, things turned out a whole lot better than I thought they would have. At the beginning of the retreat I stayed in the back like I would normally do at things like that.. But something told me that I had to make what I could out of this, and I started getting more invovled. I think what really got it started was the 20 min. alone time. I just started thinking.. And with each session I felt it start to break down my walls. And frankly, I didn't have the strength to even want to keep them up. And as this happened I enjoyed everything more, but along with the fall of the levee comes the water behind it.. And down came everything I had kept inside for so long and it just fell on top of me and I couldn't do anything but cry.. I held it in as long as I could.. But as soon as I was as alone as I could be, it came.. And I'm very greatful for the person that was there to pick me up. We talked for about 30 some odd minutes and our conversation may never end.. But the friendship we sealed is better than any pride I may have lost by letting him see me like that. Jamie O., I love you dude. "We are tight, like we don't have to beat around the bush. We could just be like 'Yo...'" haha.. After lunch the next day was really hard because I knew what I was going back to. I knew I'd never have that chance again. To just be away from the worlds we all left behind was probably the best feeling you could ever have. And I wouldn't change anything for it, not even Faces of Death Part 4. haha. But it didn't end there, Sunday was the first mass I attended in like 6+ months. And I think the only reason I enjoyed it was because we really did rock out in the front pews haha. It was great. And I'm not saying that I've changed my views on religion. But now I know that there is something else out there. And I know things can get better than what they are. I got the question of "what'd they do to you?" Twice already. And all I could say was.. Nothing and shake my head, smiling. And I know that what happened this weekend has only begun, but I just can't wait to see what sprouts from it.. I thank each and every person that attended this weekend, and each and every person that made this happen. I love all of you.
I have Taken Root.