Quantum theory of Gannets
Another in the infrequent series of Thoughts from the Archive, posted here because I was reminded of it and Usenet doesn't turn up easily when you Google.
An event at Henley had needed a qualifying race when only sixteen crews were entered; someone posited an imaginary seventeenth crew, and eminent boatbuilder Carl Douglas asked in what sense "imaginary" was used.
On Tue, 3 Jul 2001, Carl Douglas wrote:
> Is this 17th crew:
> 1. 'imaginary' as in 'virtual', & do such crews pop in & out of
> existence as quantum perturbations of a perfect vacuum, or
That sounds like an exact description of the behaviour of the club here
over the summer. Virtual crews are generated by rare constructive
interference between free bowons and strokons, which in a stable or "term"
state are never observed independently of their crew; in a perfect
vacation however they pass through, often at great speeds, sometimes
producing tiny excited fragments (or coxswaons) when they collide. The
virtual crew can be observed only in a special detector or "pot-hunt":
these are no more than 750m long and show no acceleration at all, as is
appropriate to this lethargic branch of low-energy matter. Virtual crews
are for some reason more likely to be seen in direct sunlight and a medium
of alcohol.
> 2. 'imaginary' as in 'imaginary number' (involving square root of -1),
> in which case are HRR draws also available in Argand diagram format,
Virtual crews carry two variables. Modulus, or distance from the origin,
is the square root of the sum of the squared time since each strokon last
rowed with each bowon, and vice-versa. A consequence of Modulus is
Argument, generally about who will stroke, whether we can actually manage
a push for home, and why we never have a practice outing beforehand.
> 3. 'imaginary' as in 'twice the square root of very little', & thus
> purely a figment of the Stewards' fevered collective imaginations?
It's very unlikely that the imaginary crew will ever trouble the Stewards
at all, except in a disassociated state in the Enclosure, where it makes
great plans for "next year".
An event at Henley had needed a qualifying race when only sixteen crews were entered; someone posited an imaginary seventeenth crew, and eminent boatbuilder Carl Douglas asked in what sense "imaginary" was used.
On Tue, 3 Jul 2001, Carl Douglas wrote:
> Is this 17th crew:
> 1. 'imaginary' as in 'virtual', & do such crews pop in & out of
> existence as quantum perturbations of a perfect vacuum, or
That sounds like an exact description of the behaviour of the club here
over the summer. Virtual crews are generated by rare constructive
interference between free bowons and strokons, which in a stable or "term"
state are never observed independently of their crew; in a perfect
vacation however they pass through, often at great speeds, sometimes
producing tiny excited fragments (or coxswaons) when they collide. The
virtual crew can be observed only in a special detector or "pot-hunt":
these are no more than 750m long and show no acceleration at all, as is
appropriate to this lethargic branch of low-energy matter. Virtual crews
are for some reason more likely to be seen in direct sunlight and a medium
of alcohol.
> 2. 'imaginary' as in 'imaginary number' (involving square root of -1),
> in which case are HRR draws also available in Argand diagram format,
Virtual crews carry two variables. Modulus, or distance from the origin,
is the square root of the sum of the squared time since each strokon last
rowed with each bowon, and vice-versa. A consequence of Modulus is
Argument, generally about who will stroke, whether we can actually manage
a push for home, and why we never have a practice outing beforehand.
> 3. 'imaginary' as in 'twice the square root of very little', & thus
> purely a figment of the Stewards' fevered collective imaginations?
It's very unlikely that the imaginary crew will ever trouble the Stewards
at all, except in a disassociated state in the Enclosure, where it makes
great plans for "next year".