“Beijing, Home of the Shitty Job”
When we were living in Beijing in 2008, I used to joke to Albert that Beijing’s motto could be “Home of the Shitty Job.” As I’d mentioned in a previous post, many tasks which are typically automated (or done infrequently) became full-fledged jobs in Beijing. At first, it was uncomfortable (I had to interact with so many people!), but as time passed it became clear that many of them were either supposed to fade into the background or even preferred to be unnoticed.
Here is a partial list of shitty jobs we photographed while in Beijing. Trust me, there were lots more pics that we never took!
Leaf-piler (distinct from the leaf sweeper)
Armies of litter-picker-uppers. Funny anecdote: at work, we have a day dedicated to community service. The local organizers, hearing that the American offices organized a pick-up-litter-at-the-park day, did the same. They came back with NO TRASH, because Beijing deploys hordes of litter sweepers.
Recycler. Users don’t sort their trash; they give it to trashmen who pick through their trash and pull out the recyclables. Related-but-unphotographed: trash scavengers, who scavenge recyclables from public, streetside bins. The nice ones put the non-recyclable trash back into the bins; the not-so-nice ones leave it on the street.
Cargo bicylist (this one happens to be a trash collector). Note also the street-side vendors selling roast meats and yams - yum!
Sticker-scraper. Ads are sometimes printed on stickers which are then scattered on the sidewalk. There’s a special job for the person who has to scrape them off the stairs and sidewalks.
Shrubbery wrapper (and unwrapper)
Greeters. The phrase for “welcome” is “歡迎光臨” which is so nasalized and slurred that it sounds like 3 words. Actually, calling it “words” is a disservice, because it wouldn’t be able to tell what they were saying - it was so slurred - if it weren’t for the distinctively nasal high-high-low pitch of whatever they were shouting at you.
Hey guys, I don’t think you understand what the “automatic” part of an automatic car wash means …
Water-delivery boy (people don’t drink tap water here)
Traffic cop. Not only do people universally hate you for your completely impenetrable enforcement and rerouting of traffic, but apparently their average lifespan is in the mid-40s (car accidents, car exhaust, etc).
Human billboard. He’s advertising an internet cafe in 80 degree weather.
On a completely different note, I love reading the Idle Words blog. Longer after I arrived in Beijing, I found his Five Friendlies post, which is both hilarious and appropriate because:
- “Umbrella condom” hand-outers is also a shitty job, though they may have been temporarily re-purposed door greeters.
- Albert and I also spent several months obsessed with Jian Bing (煎餅). Very obsessed.