FIC/ART: memory lane (Dave♥John)
Creators: care, sharkgills, hierarchy
Title: memory lane
Rating: G
Trigger Warnings (if applicable): N/A
Summary: Dave breaks into John's home while he is visiting LOWAS. It's practically a museum.
> DAVE: BREAK IN LIKE IT'S 1995 ON THAT ONE COPS SHOW.
You can totally do that.
Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you're doing something that only irony could hold on a COPS SHOW if the Earth wasn't currently destroyed in an apocalypse. You're not the first person to break into someone's house uninvited ever since this whole fucking circus happened, so you can't be blamed, but John always had the knack to COMPLAIN ABOUT SHIT anyway.
That's right, you're jumping through his window.
You might as well have, considering this is the first time you're visiting his planet. Might as well do all the weird snooping that comes with it.
> DAVE: LOOK AROUND.
The first thing you noticed was the constricting atmosphere. The air was greasy and heavy, broken only by harsh, cutting winds that did nothing to relieve the oppressive and gloomy texture surrounding you. You felt your shoes slicking up against the ink of the floor as you continued through your best friend's old room, the offending squelches were enough to nearly make you cringe. It was a complete contrast to the boy the land belonged to. You hated it, but you kept exploring around anyway, interested as to what more the bedroom held in store.
But first off, let's just-
Oh.
no, man, the movie was totally awesome!
-----
> DAVE: RECALL THAT FUCKING POWER RANGERS REMIX
GT: the rock scenes were so intense. i've never seen the pink ranger fight that well!
GT: do you think i could do that someday, dave?
GT: be like, the awesome white ranger?
GT: my favorite color is blue but still!
TG: kill me now
GT: hehe, oh come on dave.
GT: we only met two weeks ago. we should talk about what we're into.
TG: all ive heard from you so far is shitty movies beyond irony and how hard you jerk off to nic cages dirty white beater
GT: ugh, dude! gross!
TG: its not gross its perfectly normal for a teenage boy
TG: having a mancrush on a mullet trashin cop punchin bad actin family leavin man is right on the money for nerds your age
TG: i would know i checked the statistics
GT: oh wow.
GT: you are so funny.
GT: here, look at me! i'm suffocating and i can't breathe because i am laughing SO HARD!
TG: holy shit your sarcasm needs serious work
GT: your FACE needs serious work.
TG: woah
GT: aw yeah.
TG: woah
GT: i went there.
TG: woah
GT: whatcha gonna do now?
GT: uh...
GT: homie??? peace??????
TG: wo
TG: ......
TG: anyway
TG: what do you like other than yknow shitty movies
GT: they are not shitty! they are the best.
GT: and i have other hobbies. like programming and piano i guess.
GT: but still, it's not like cinema!
GT: there's nothing that touches your heart more than the big screen. nothing at all.
GT: like that one scene from the bodyguard. whitney houston as an actress needs a bit more practice but...
GT: i will always love you makes any movie like ten times better!
GT: who else sings so good? no one, that's who.
TG: wait back up
TG: youre into music
GT: wait, are we getting somewhere?
GT: yeah, i'm deep into whitney houston!
TG: what no not that you dumbass
TG: im talking about the piano
GT: oh, my piano?
GT: are you into things like that?
GT: that would be the last thing i expected, coming from you.
GT: not that that's a bad thing!
GT: but yeah, i've been playing it for as long as i can remember.
GT: my dad taught me how.
GT: do you play it too?
TG: nah
TG: im all about the mixing shit yknow
TG: gotta show kanye west whats up and whos the real slim shady
TG: wait
GT: ...didn't eminem sing that?
TG: stfu
TG: like i was saying i kinda take other sounds and make cool shit from it too
TG: comes with my future profession
TG: so what im offering here is if you could lend me some of your slick piano moves
GT: wait, dave.
GT: are you asking if you could remix my piano songs?
GT: that's... pretty cool of you, actually!
TG: well duh bro what were you expecting
GT: hehehehe :)
GT: well, you gotta prove to me that you're worth my sweet stroke moves!
TG: stroke moves
GT: what?
GT: wait...
GT: oh shit! i meant
GT: whatever, you know what i meant!
GT: that's not even the point! prove to me that you're apparently so awesome then i will record something for you.
TG: wait are you serious
TG: ok fine
TG: what do i gotta do
TG: get on one knee at your throne and kiss your hand in front of the kingdom
TG: cause im gonna be honest here bro i got limitations
TG: that is one of them
TG: by a long fucking shot
GT: remix the power rangers song!
TG: i
TG: what
TG: oh my god
TG: are we still on this
GT: sounds like someone can't take the heat.
TG: well lucky for you im a born texan crow
TG: ok brb
GT: wait, what?
GT: where are you going?
TG: dont get your panties in a twist ill brb jesus
-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! --
GT: dave!
GT: dave!!!
GT: jeez.
TG: ok
turntechGodhead [TG] sent ghostyTrickster [GT] file "yourdumbasspowerrangerremix.mp3"
TG: check it
GT: ....
TG: ....
GT: ....
TG: ....
GT: ....
TG: oh come on
TG: stop it
TG: just tell me how great it is
TG: tell me how bad you wanna suck my throbbing titanic right now
TG: then give me a recording
TG: then ill swoon you some more
GT: oh my god, dude! i didn't need that image!
TG: waiting
GT: siiiiiigh.
GT: it's pretty good.
GT: you got experience with this!
TG: damn right
GT: but ok. a deal's a deal.
GT: what do you want me to play?
TG: anything i dont really care much about the tune itself
TG: i already got the hunch youre pretty talented thats kinda what i want
TG: i only accept the best man its gotta be sick
GT: ...you think i'm sick?
GT: you haven't even heard me yet.
GT: but hehe, thanks dave! ok, i need to go anyway. but when i'm back i'll have something for you.
GT: let's mix all kinds of songs in the future, man. you should make more stuff for me!
TG: bossy
GT: i'm just saying!
GT: you're really good at it. if i get enough i can even make a mixtape, man.
GT: a MIXTAPE.
GT: you're the first person to call me sick, too. in like, y'know, a good way.
GT: you even remixed power rangers for me!
GT: plus all these weeks, you haven't gotten tired of hearing about my movies.
GT: we won't stop talking anytime soon, i'm so bent on this being true.
GT: thanks again dave.
GT: you're pretty sick yourself!
GT: but anyway, yeah, i gotta go. cake awaits, ugh.
GT: see ya!
-- ghostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: peace out homie
Egbert was pretty true to his word. He didn't overdo it, but he'd ask for "sick remixes" sometimes ever since. Your PRIDE was kind of important so you never said no, but overtime it started becoming kind of different.
You were doing it less for yourself and more for him, with all the impressions that you tried to put with it. It's something you did with all three of your friends, all kind of holding their own message.
But there's always just something different when you do things with your best friend.
Promises mean something unique, and you've made way too many during this game than you can think about.
-----
> DAVE: YOU'RE NOT DONE YET.
You look around, examining every NOOK and CRANNY of the house. Only, not quite. You started, and now you can't stop for some reason.
That's kind of disturbing.
You avoid the urge to call it the place of DWELLING but then again, Egbert is not a hobbit.
You open the door to a room that, weirdly enough, seems familiar.
Really familiar.
hey
how was the fair
-----
EB: oh man, oh man you missed it! the whole thing was suprisngly awesome.
EB: i'm pretty sure my dad almost pulled his ankle trying to chase down some clown that stole my monkey!
TG: wow okay clowns and monkeys not quite picking up what youre laying down
TG: but it sounds like you had fun
TG: thats cool i guess
EB: hey, really?? haha. if you were there you'd probably be laughing at us dude!
EB: my dad got pretty upset when i didn't win this really neat headset.
EB: (i think the frog-tossing contest was rigged...)
TG: have you ever considered that maybe you and your dad arent exactly the most skilled frog tossers of the 21st century
TG: not trying to say anything but you should probably take that into consideration
EB: rude, bro!!
EB: thanks, but i think we're kind of awesome at it if i don't say so myself! :B
TG: sure thing egbert
EB: look, we even got our photo taken.
ectoBiologist [EB] sent turntechGodhead [TG] file "lookiamatthefair.jpg"
TG: ...
EB: what?
TG: damn that really looks
TG: i dunno
TG: like it was fun
EB: didn't you already say that, lol.
TG: no
EB: ...
EB: am i sensing a pinge of the HEART here?
TG: no
TG: i tell you what youre sensing bro
TG: youre sensing a tired strider cooked from all the goddamn houston heat and filled with the slight incurable feeling of laziness just baked into a summer pie because he couldnt get off his sorry ass and out of the apartment and make it to a fair
TG: maybe
EB: :(
EB: if you're really that bored and all, why don't you ask your bro to take you to some amusment park over there?
EB: there's gotta be something.
TG: yeah probably
TG: but i wouldnt want bro taking me to fairs and parks and whatever
TG: hed probably try to slag on my cool and totally bring and shove puppet ass down my face when im trying to win some stupid care bear at the ring toss
TG: not that my cool can ever be slagged on
EB: dave, i'm totally feeling you and all, but
EB: is slag even a word?
TG: slag is a word egbert urban dictionary it
TG: oh wait hey
TG: no dont
TG: the fuck
EB: hahaha!
EB: my laughter, dave.
EB: i am totally giggling in real life.
TG: good
TG: just as planned
EB: atta, dude!
Sometimes, when you think about it, you do fall a little short to the kid. In the simplest of ways, too.
-----
> DAVE: REALIZE THIS IS GETTING DEPRESSING.
There were a bunch of curiously defaced keepsakes strew around, plenty of clown graffiti, and torn posters strewn about the place, but there was one thing you were seeking for in particular as you snooped around. A shitty poster of a shitty movie that John held so dear to himself. The poster of that damn movie he would never shut up about. You were looking for that.
It didn't take too terribly long to pinpoint where it was, it was the biggest poster the derp had by far.
You remember back to one excruciatingly long half day, not that much long ago before the game. You had sent the entire day zoning off, ignoring your school friends and teachers on the account of a particularly bad mood a fight with Bro from the previous evening left you in. It was something about him being so absent, if you recall correctly. But whatever, it was stupid. You were being selfish. You knew. You knew your bro had to work weird hours to keep the two of you in a nice place, but that did nothing to stop the hollow feeling from an empty house. You recount that it was really fucking hot out that day when you were walking home, and how sweaty you were when you got home, and how pissed you were when you were reminded by yourself that the AC was broken. You had been in a really shitty mood. You had been in a shitty mood and really didn't feel like doing anything except throwing your backpack across the room, completely forgotten, and halfheartedly falling back into your computer chair to log into pesterchum.
sup egbert how many cakes did your dad pelt you with today
-----
> DAVE: REMEMBER NEW PROMISES.
EB: dave!!! and oh man i don't even want to talk about it, my pride still stings, bro.
EB: i guess you could say
EB: i just got some sick burns.
TG: wow you must have really gotten clocked if youre not gabbing on about it i was kind of looking forward to that
TG: you know about how you so valiantly defended your honor from an onslaught of baked goods
TG: oh no the bakerwitch is out to get me she wants to fatten me up and cook me into one of her cakes
EB: augh! man dave you don't even know!
EB: the bakerwitch's evil knows no bounds, we've been over this dave!
TG: whatever you goober calm your quivering buckteeth
TG: you can stop shaking in your boots we can change the subject
EB: rude, dave!
EB: but yeah, that'd be nice.
EB: what's up man?
TG: nothing you
EB: dave.
EB: there is never nothing going on in your side of the world dude, what's on your mind??
TG: egderp its nothing untwist your panties
TG: really
TG: just absolutely ironic crushing loneliness same old same old
TG: lemme tell you john you can be surrounded by waves of people every day but if none of them matter to you
TG: wait this is stupid
EB: no it isn't!
TG: why do you even care anyway
EB: dave...
EB: you're my best friend, of course i'm worried!!!
EB: you know what i like to do when i'm feeling down?
TG: god no egbert dont you even
EB: watch con air of course!!
TG: yeah by the time the movies over ill have bashed my cranium into the nearest blunt object so many times i wont have to worry about anything ever again
TG: ill just be sitting before pearly gates
TG: sounds kind of nice
EB: oh jeez dave, don't even joke about that!
EB: and whatever dude, i bet you've never even watched it once!
EB: if we ever get to meet each other, that is definitely the first thing i am going to remedy.
TG: really appreciated bro
TG: dont know what id do if i had to go the rest of my life con airless
TG: and egbert serious question
EB: shoot, man.
TG: i want to know
TG: how do i live without you
EB: how do i breeeeathe without you!!!
TG: thered be no sun in the sky without you
EB: dave!! youre mixing the lyrics up!!
EB: that's it, we definitely need to watch con air together.
EB: that's simply inexcusable.
Something about your senseless bickering between eachother and being called his best friend made you forget the total drudgery of earlier. You remember how you thought for a while back then during that chat, about the hope that maybe, if you did meet up together, maybe the two of you could share popcorn together, and then maybe you could work up the courage to brush your hands against John's, even if just briefly. You feel your chest constrict a little. For now, you think that just watching over him is fine.
There was way too many times you failed to do that.
You can't forget that last promise you just happened to get forced upon you, no matter how hard you try.
-----
> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
Oh, fuck, and it comes back as vivid as ever.
Forget about it.
Forget about it.
-----
> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
hey, dave.
are you there?
> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
i don't know if you know, but me and rose tried to fight jack noir.
we both died. i kissed her so she should be ok i think, but...
> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
you're leaving too, aren't you?
-----
> YOU CAN'T.
EB: i remember you telling me you're going to travel back soon. for the last time.
EB: i wish you some luck, man! i don't think i'll ever get the time loops thing.
EB: i guess that is why you're our guy for the job!
EB: but hopefully you didn't leave yet and you'll see this. the right dave, i mean.
EB: because you'll be gone and i have stuff to tell you.
EB: you know, before i try this scratch.
EB: i'm actually pretty nervous about it. i still got that eerie that feeling that i can easily fuck it up!
EB: but then i think about you and rose and jade.
EB: you always jumped through time shit to do your economy stealing and now we're pretty filthy rich.
EB: rose hatched her master plan to blow up the green sun.
EB: and jade's doing her frog thing, i think!
EB: i'm the last one to do anything super effective.
EB: sorry for taking so long to do something huge like you guys!
EB: going all god tier is pretty cool but what's the use if you don't do anything with it?
EB: i mean, the flying is pretty cool.
EB: and super impressive, too. but that's not the only reason!
EB: i guess i'll be honest?
EB: i'm glad i went god tier and all these powers...
EB: because i wanted to impress you too!
EB: like, nothing fazes you, ever.
EB: you're so smart, more than what people actually think.
EB: you're not scared either and you get the job done, no bullshit included.
EB: you also keep in touch in your own weird way, but you always worry about us.
EB: you're my best friend.
EB: and i look up to you, sorta!
EB: i didn't really think about it before all this sburb crazy.
EB: but then that pops up in my head and i kinda want us to win so that way it'll be like how it was before.
EB: me in my room and talking to you guys.
EB: that's what i really want from this game.
EB: so hopefully the next time i talk to you, it'd be over something pretty stupid, AND on earth.
EB: i know our lives will be different, or whatever karkat said...
EB: but we'll always be friends, right?
EB: so don't give up when you go back, dave.
-----
> DAVE: ABSCOND
EB: rose didn't.
EB: jade's hanging in there too.
EB: and i know you'll keep trucking.
EB: i think you care a lot more than you let on!
EB: so do whatever it takes, man.
EB: and i'll do the same!
EB: promise it. and i know you will. :)
EB: you're my best friend, man.
EB: we have all the plans, all of them, so don't forget that either.
EB: and do one of the things you do best!
secretly helping everybody out.
bye, dave.
we'll all be waiting!
Title: memory lane
Rating: G
Trigger Warnings (if applicable): N/A
Summary: Dave breaks into John's home while he is visiting LOWAS. It's practically a museum.
> DAVE: BREAK IN LIKE IT'S 1995 ON THAT ONE COPS SHOW.
You can totally do that.
Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you're doing something that only irony could hold on a COPS SHOW if the Earth wasn't currently destroyed in an apocalypse. You're not the first person to break into someone's house uninvited ever since this whole fucking circus happened, so you can't be blamed, but John always had the knack to COMPLAIN ABOUT SHIT anyway.
That's right, you're jumping through his window.
You might as well have, considering this is the first time you're visiting his planet. Might as well do all the weird snooping that comes with it.
> DAVE: LOOK AROUND.
The first thing you noticed was the constricting atmosphere. The air was greasy and heavy, broken only by harsh, cutting winds that did nothing to relieve the oppressive and gloomy texture surrounding you. You felt your shoes slicking up against the ink of the floor as you continued through your best friend's old room, the offending squelches were enough to nearly make you cringe. It was a complete contrast to the boy the land belonged to. You hated it, but you kept exploring around anyway, interested as to what more the bedroom held in store.
But first off, let's just-
Oh.
no, man, the movie was totally awesome!
-----
> DAVE: RECALL THAT FUCKING POWER RANGERS REMIX
GT: the rock scenes were so intense. i've never seen the pink ranger fight that well!
GT: do you think i could do that someday, dave?
GT: be like, the awesome white ranger?
GT: my favorite color is blue but still!
TG: kill me now
GT: hehe, oh come on dave.
GT: we only met two weeks ago. we should talk about what we're into.
TG: all ive heard from you so far is shitty movies beyond irony and how hard you jerk off to nic cages dirty white beater
GT: ugh, dude! gross!
TG: its not gross its perfectly normal for a teenage boy
TG: having a mancrush on a mullet trashin cop punchin bad actin family leavin man is right on the money for nerds your age
TG: i would know i checked the statistics
GT: oh wow.
GT: you are so funny.
GT: here, look at me! i'm suffocating and i can't breathe because i am laughing SO HARD!
TG: holy shit your sarcasm needs serious work
GT: your FACE needs serious work.
TG: woah
GT: aw yeah.
TG: woah
GT: i went there.
TG: woah
GT: whatcha gonna do now?
GT: uh...
GT: homie??? peace??????
TG: wo
TG: ......
TG: anyway
TG: what do you like other than yknow shitty movies
GT: they are not shitty! they are the best.
GT: and i have other hobbies. like programming and piano i guess.
GT: but still, it's not like cinema!
GT: there's nothing that touches your heart more than the big screen. nothing at all.
GT: like that one scene from the bodyguard. whitney houston as an actress needs a bit more practice but...
GT: i will always love you makes any movie like ten times better!
GT: who else sings so good? no one, that's who.
TG: wait back up
TG: youre into music
GT: wait, are we getting somewhere?
GT: yeah, i'm deep into whitney houston!
TG: what no not that you dumbass
TG: im talking about the piano
GT: oh, my piano?
GT: are you into things like that?
GT: that would be the last thing i expected, coming from you.
GT: not that that's a bad thing!
GT: but yeah, i've been playing it for as long as i can remember.
GT: my dad taught me how.
GT: do you play it too?
TG: nah
TG: im all about the mixing shit yknow
TG: gotta show kanye west whats up and whos the real slim shady
TG: wait
GT: ...didn't eminem sing that?
TG: stfu
TG: like i was saying i kinda take other sounds and make cool shit from it too
TG: comes with my future profession
TG: so what im offering here is if you could lend me some of your slick piano moves
GT: wait, dave.
GT: are you asking if you could remix my piano songs?
GT: that's... pretty cool of you, actually!
TG: well duh bro what were you expecting
GT: hehehehe :)
GT: well, you gotta prove to me that you're worth my sweet stroke moves!
TG: stroke moves
GT: what?
GT: wait...
GT: oh shit! i meant
GT: whatever, you know what i meant!
GT: that's not even the point! prove to me that you're apparently so awesome then i will record something for you.
TG: wait are you serious
TG: ok fine
TG: what do i gotta do
TG: get on one knee at your throne and kiss your hand in front of the kingdom
TG: cause im gonna be honest here bro i got limitations
TG: that is one of them
TG: by a long fucking shot
GT: remix the power rangers song!
TG: i
TG: what
TG: oh my god
TG: are we still on this
GT: sounds like someone can't take the heat.
TG: well lucky for you im a born texan crow
TG: ok brb
GT: wait, what?
GT: where are you going?
TG: dont get your panties in a twist ill brb jesus
-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! --
GT: dave!
GT: dave!!!
GT: jeez.
TG: ok
turntechGodhead [TG] sent ghostyTrickster [GT] file "yourdumbasspowerrangerremix.mp3"
TG: check it
GT: ....
TG: ....
GT: ....
TG: ....
GT: ....
TG: oh come on
TG: stop it
TG: just tell me how great it is
TG: tell me how bad you wanna suck my throbbing titanic right now
TG: then give me a recording
TG: then ill swoon you some more
GT: oh my god, dude! i didn't need that image!
TG: waiting
GT: siiiiiigh.
GT: it's pretty good.
GT: you got experience with this!
TG: damn right
GT: but ok. a deal's a deal.
GT: what do you want me to play?
TG: anything i dont really care much about the tune itself
TG: i already got the hunch youre pretty talented thats kinda what i want
TG: i only accept the best man its gotta be sick
GT: ...you think i'm sick?
GT: you haven't even heard me yet.
GT: but hehe, thanks dave! ok, i need to go anyway. but when i'm back i'll have something for you.
GT: let's mix all kinds of songs in the future, man. you should make more stuff for me!
TG: bossy
GT: i'm just saying!
GT: you're really good at it. if i get enough i can even make a mixtape, man.
GT: a MIXTAPE.
GT: you're the first person to call me sick, too. in like, y'know, a good way.
GT: you even remixed power rangers for me!
GT: plus all these weeks, you haven't gotten tired of hearing about my movies.
GT: we won't stop talking anytime soon, i'm so bent on this being true.
GT: thanks again dave.
GT: you're pretty sick yourself!
GT: but anyway, yeah, i gotta go. cake awaits, ugh.
GT: see ya!
-- ghostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: peace out homie
Egbert was pretty true to his word. He didn't overdo it, but he'd ask for "sick remixes" sometimes ever since. Your PRIDE was kind of important so you never said no, but overtime it started becoming kind of different.
You were doing it less for yourself and more for him, with all the impressions that you tried to put with it. It's something you did with all three of your friends, all kind of holding their own message.
But there's always just something different when you do things with your best friend.
Promises mean something unique, and you've made way too many during this game than you can think about.
-----
> DAVE: YOU'RE NOT DONE YET.
You look around, examining every NOOK and CRANNY of the house. Only, not quite. You started, and now you can't stop for some reason.
That's kind of disturbing.
You avoid the urge to call it the place of DWELLING but then again, Egbert is not a hobbit.
You open the door to a room that, weirdly enough, seems familiar.
Really familiar.
hey
how was the fair
-----
EB: oh man, oh man you missed it! the whole thing was suprisngly awesome.
EB: i'm pretty sure my dad almost pulled his ankle trying to chase down some clown that stole my monkey!
TG: wow okay clowns and monkeys not quite picking up what youre laying down
TG: but it sounds like you had fun
TG: thats cool i guess
EB: hey, really?? haha. if you were there you'd probably be laughing at us dude!
EB: my dad got pretty upset when i didn't win this really neat headset.
EB: (i think the frog-tossing contest was rigged...)
TG: have you ever considered that maybe you and your dad arent exactly the most skilled frog tossers of the 21st century
TG: not trying to say anything but you should probably take that into consideration
EB: rude, bro!!
EB: thanks, but i think we're kind of awesome at it if i don't say so myself! :B
TG: sure thing egbert
EB: look, we even got our photo taken.
ectoBiologist [EB] sent turntechGodhead [TG] file "lookiamatthefair.jpg"
TG: ...
EB: what?
TG: damn that really looks
TG: i dunno
TG: like it was fun
EB: didn't you already say that, lol.
TG: no
EB: ...
EB: am i sensing a pinge of the HEART here?
TG: no
TG: i tell you what youre sensing bro
TG: youre sensing a tired strider cooked from all the goddamn houston heat and filled with the slight incurable feeling of laziness just baked into a summer pie because he couldnt get off his sorry ass and out of the apartment and make it to a fair
TG: maybe
EB: :(
EB: if you're really that bored and all, why don't you ask your bro to take you to some amusment park over there?
EB: there's gotta be something.
TG: yeah probably
TG: but i wouldnt want bro taking me to fairs and parks and whatever
TG: hed probably try to slag on my cool and totally bring and shove puppet ass down my face when im trying to win some stupid care bear at the ring toss
TG: not that my cool can ever be slagged on
EB: dave, i'm totally feeling you and all, but
EB: is slag even a word?
TG: slag is a word egbert urban dictionary it
TG: oh wait hey
TG: no dont
TG: the fuck
EB: hahaha!
EB: my laughter, dave.
EB: i am totally giggling in real life.
TG: good
TG: just as planned
EB: atta, dude!
Sometimes, when you think about it, you do fall a little short to the kid. In the simplest of ways, too.
-----
> DAVE: REALIZE THIS IS GETTING DEPRESSING.
There were a bunch of curiously defaced keepsakes strew around, plenty of clown graffiti, and torn posters strewn about the place, but there was one thing you were seeking for in particular as you snooped around. A shitty poster of a shitty movie that John held so dear to himself. The poster of that damn movie he would never shut up about. You were looking for that.
It didn't take too terribly long to pinpoint where it was, it was the biggest poster the derp had by far.
You remember back to one excruciatingly long half day, not that much long ago before the game. You had sent the entire day zoning off, ignoring your school friends and teachers on the account of a particularly bad mood a fight with Bro from the previous evening left you in. It was something about him being so absent, if you recall correctly. But whatever, it was stupid. You were being selfish. You knew. You knew your bro had to work weird hours to keep the two of you in a nice place, but that did nothing to stop the hollow feeling from an empty house. You recount that it was really fucking hot out that day when you were walking home, and how sweaty you were when you got home, and how pissed you were when you were reminded by yourself that the AC was broken. You had been in a really shitty mood. You had been in a shitty mood and really didn't feel like doing anything except throwing your backpack across the room, completely forgotten, and halfheartedly falling back into your computer chair to log into pesterchum.
sup egbert how many cakes did your dad pelt you with today
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> DAVE: REMEMBER NEW PROMISES.
EB: dave!!! and oh man i don't even want to talk about it, my pride still stings, bro.
EB: i guess you could say
EB: i just got some sick burns.
TG: wow you must have really gotten clocked if youre not gabbing on about it i was kind of looking forward to that
TG: you know about how you so valiantly defended your honor from an onslaught of baked goods
TG: oh no the bakerwitch is out to get me she wants to fatten me up and cook me into one of her cakes
EB: augh! man dave you don't even know!
EB: the bakerwitch's evil knows no bounds, we've been over this dave!
TG: whatever you goober calm your quivering buckteeth
TG: you can stop shaking in your boots we can change the subject
EB: rude, dave!
EB: but yeah, that'd be nice.
EB: what's up man?
TG: nothing you
EB: dave.
EB: there is never nothing going on in your side of the world dude, what's on your mind??
TG: egderp its nothing untwist your panties
TG: really
TG: just absolutely ironic crushing loneliness same old same old
TG: lemme tell you john you can be surrounded by waves of people every day but if none of them matter to you
TG: wait this is stupid
EB: no it isn't!
TG: why do you even care anyway
EB: dave...
EB: you're my best friend, of course i'm worried!!!
EB: you know what i like to do when i'm feeling down?
TG: god no egbert dont you even
EB: watch con air of course!!
TG: yeah by the time the movies over ill have bashed my cranium into the nearest blunt object so many times i wont have to worry about anything ever again
TG: ill just be sitting before pearly gates
TG: sounds kind of nice
EB: oh jeez dave, don't even joke about that!
EB: and whatever dude, i bet you've never even watched it once!
EB: if we ever get to meet each other, that is definitely the first thing i am going to remedy.
TG: really appreciated bro
TG: dont know what id do if i had to go the rest of my life con airless
TG: and egbert serious question
EB: shoot, man.
TG: i want to know
TG: how do i live without you
EB: how do i breeeeathe without you!!!
TG: thered be no sun in the sky without you
EB: dave!! youre mixing the lyrics up!!
EB: that's it, we definitely need to watch con air together.
EB: that's simply inexcusable.
Something about your senseless bickering between eachother and being called his best friend made you forget the total drudgery of earlier. You remember how you thought for a while back then during that chat, about the hope that maybe, if you did meet up together, maybe the two of you could share popcorn together, and then maybe you could work up the courage to brush your hands against John's, even if just briefly. You feel your chest constrict a little. For now, you think that just watching over him is fine.
There was way too many times you failed to do that.
You can't forget that last promise you just happened to get forced upon you, no matter how hard you try.
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> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
Oh, fuck, and it comes back as vivid as ever.
Forget about it.
Forget about it.
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> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
hey, dave.
are you there?
> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
i don't know if you know, but me and rose tried to fight jack noir.
we both died. i kissed her so she should be ok i think, but...
> DAVE: FORGET ABOUT IT
you're leaving too, aren't you?
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> YOU CAN'T.
EB: i remember you telling me you're going to travel back soon. for the last time.
EB: i wish you some luck, man! i don't think i'll ever get the time loops thing.
EB: i guess that is why you're our guy for the job!
EB: but hopefully you didn't leave yet and you'll see this. the right dave, i mean.
EB: because you'll be gone and i have stuff to tell you.
EB: you know, before i try this scratch.
EB: i'm actually pretty nervous about it. i still got that eerie that feeling that i can easily fuck it up!
EB: but then i think about you and rose and jade.
EB: you always jumped through time shit to do your economy stealing and now we're pretty filthy rich.
EB: rose hatched her master plan to blow up the green sun.
EB: and jade's doing her frog thing, i think!
EB: i'm the last one to do anything super effective.
EB: sorry for taking so long to do something huge like you guys!
EB: going all god tier is pretty cool but what's the use if you don't do anything with it?
EB: i mean, the flying is pretty cool.
EB: and super impressive, too. but that's not the only reason!
EB: i guess i'll be honest?
EB: i'm glad i went god tier and all these powers...
EB: because i wanted to impress you too!
EB: like, nothing fazes you, ever.
EB: you're so smart, more than what people actually think.
EB: you're not scared either and you get the job done, no bullshit included.
EB: you also keep in touch in your own weird way, but you always worry about us.
EB: you're my best friend.
EB: and i look up to you, sorta!
EB: i didn't really think about it before all this sburb crazy.
EB: but then that pops up in my head and i kinda want us to win so that way it'll be like how it was before.
EB: me in my room and talking to you guys.
EB: that's what i really want from this game.
EB: so hopefully the next time i talk to you, it'd be over something pretty stupid, AND on earth.
EB: i know our lives will be different, or whatever karkat said...
EB: but we'll always be friends, right?
EB: so don't give up when you go back, dave.
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> DAVE: ABSCOND
EB: rose didn't.
EB: jade's hanging in there too.
EB: and i know you'll keep trucking.
EB: i think you care a lot more than you let on!
EB: so do whatever it takes, man.
EB: and i'll do the same!
EB: promise it. and i know you will. :)
EB: you're my best friend, man.
EB: we have all the plans, all of them, so don't forget that either.
EB: and do one of the things you do best!
secretly helping everybody out.
bye, dave.
we'll all be waiting!