ad nauseum
I've already ranted to Twatsy about Orlando Bloom and Ugly People, but I feel that they deserve a little more exposure than just her comment log.
Orlando Bloom: Why do I love/hate/love/hate you? Why are you beautiful? Why do you know how beautiful you are? I know that deep down inside you realize that you will only be happy in a cabana on the beach with me. And only me. I know that your "love child" with Kate Bosworth is a cry for help. She looks exactly like me (except she has two different colored eyes). But seriously, what a ruse! And I know that every time you have a love scene in a new movie, you wish that I was your leading lady. I know you want to drop the whole fame thing and come to live a life of simplicity in Iowa City. You just need to realize these things yourself!
Ugly People: deserve to die. Actually, no. I'm not that cruel. They deserve to be put in a spaceship and dragged to the furthest reaches of the universe and left there. Then they can create their own ugly race of ugly people and he happy in the way that only ugly people can be. And then I'll be happy because I won't have to look at them anymore. And I won't have to wonder how much makeup and weeks at weight watchers it would take to get them to be even remotely cute. And then I won't have to marvel at how cute I am in comparison to them.
Again, I am astounded by my own perfection.
Orlando Bloom: Why do I love/hate/love/hate you? Why are you beautiful? Why do you know how beautiful you are? I know that deep down inside you realize that you will only be happy in a cabana on the beach with me. And only me. I know that your "love child" with Kate Bosworth is a cry for help. She looks exactly like me (except she has two different colored eyes). But seriously, what a ruse! And I know that every time you have a love scene in a new movie, you wish that I was your leading lady. I know you want to drop the whole fame thing and come to live a life of simplicity in Iowa City. You just need to realize these things yourself!
Ugly People: deserve to die. Actually, no. I'm not that cruel. They deserve to be put in a spaceship and dragged to the furthest reaches of the universe and left there. Then they can create their own ugly race of ugly people and he happy in the way that only ugly people can be. And then I'll be happy because I won't have to look at them anymore. And I won't have to wonder how much makeup and weeks at weight watchers it would take to get them to be even remotely cute. And then I won't have to marvel at how cute I am in comparison to them.
Again, I am astounded by my own perfection.