But Most of All...
The label on the bottle says refrigerate after opening. So what do you think you should do after it is opened? Refrigerate it. You think they put it on there because they like the way the lettering looked?
Close the cabinet doors. I know, it requires so much physical exertion, but I swear to you that your arm will not fall off. If it does fall off- well then I guess I can overlook a few open cabinets. Until then, humor me.
I can understand that sometimes walking up the stairs may be taxing. Go ahead, treat yourself and take the elevator. I however, have never known anyone who had a heart attack from taking one flight of stairs DOWN. If it is that difficult to go down, I think you should push yourself through it a few times. I would think it would be a lot less jarring than going up. And if that is the case, don’t you think you need to exercise in anyway you can?
Usually, when people are watching television whatever is on the screen is something they actually enjoy watching. Stop coming into the room and asking if you can change the channel. Do you think I was staring at the box hoping that the channel would change itself and deliver me from this hell they call entertainment?
If I give in and say yes, go ahead and change it. Don’t change it to something you know I hate. Don’t turn it to reality television, don’t make me watch the same boring rerun of an already tired sitcom and expect me to laugh along with you. You know I don’t enjoy those things. No matter how many channels you have, I can bet you that almost everyone knows what’s on every channel. We’re a society that has little or no attention span. Chances are I’ve already flipped through all of those channels and passed them by because I didn’t want to watch them in the first place. If you must watch the television on this television under the guise that you actually want to spend some time with me, can you at least pretend to compromise and find something we both can stand? I already gave in and turned away from the program I enjoyed. Are you so selfish that you can’t do the same for me?
Take out the garbage once. Or shut up when I leave it an extra day.
If you insist on loading the dishwasher before I have taken out the last load, put away the damned dishes that you took out. Don’t leave them sitting on the counter and expect me to put them away. If it was bugging you so much you’d finish the job.
Throw away your garbage. Don’t leave it sitting by the microwave for days. It’s a counter not a trash can. It’s not like it’s down the hall and around the corner. You have to pass the damned thing when you leave the kitchen. I don’t think you spent thirty bucks on a trash can so it can sit in the corner like some modern art exhibit. It’s not that interesting and it’s not even that clean.
Don’t pick your nose in public. It has never been cool in polite society to shove your finger up your nose and find treasure. Especially in a restaurant.
If you can’t pronounce a word, then don’t use it. It only makes you look uneducated and me stupid by association. No one I associate with is uneducated or do not have the ability to pronounce words correctly. Call me stuck-up. Just don’t call me stook-up.
I am willing to listen to you for hours and hours about almost any subject you bring up. The minute I open my mouth don’t roll your eyes, interrupt me, turn your attention to the TV or fall asleep.
I like to hear stories. I do. I don't however, relish listening to every detail of a happening in your life. There really is a thing as too much detail. I don't enjoy Stephen King novels for this reason. Tell me the story. Put in a few details. Make the most of the details that you share. It can be difficult, but the important part for me is vivid yet efficient language. I don't care what the weather was like, how many people passed as you tied your shoe or that there are fifty little hairs sticking out of the mole on your bosses neck, unless of course that IS the story. No, I want the facts and a little bit of the glitz. If I need more, I'll ask for it. Diarrhea of ANY orrifice isn't something I enjoy.
If I have done something to offend you or to upset you then I beg of you to tell me. I am not a mind reader. If I knew what I was doing was so aggrieves do you honestly believe that I would have done it? The world is not out to get you. Stop trying to destroy them.
Don't do things simply to annoy me, For one, it's transparent. Secondly, I could come up with a billion more inventive things to annoy you. But have no fear, I don't feel the need to be a jerk usually.
If you disagree on a subject that I am speaking passionately about or don’t know what to say, don’t walk away or shut down. I’ve listened to your ranting on this or other subjects without passing judgement or shutting down. Show me the same respect.
If you have nothing new to say then don't say anything at all. One can only hear the same story so many times before they wish that all that were involved would cease to exist.
Don't bring up subjects you know that I am not interested in, I don't enjoy discussing for whatever reasons I may have, or that make me uncomfortable. These are not unknown to you. I have made my position known.
If I complain about something that I’m going through please refrain from telling me how that is exactly like your problem and then proceed to describe your problem in minute detail for the next fifteen minutes. I didn’t ask about your problem. In fact, I heard about your problem the first time you went through it. It’s my turn. The only thing you accomplish by doing this is showing me that you do not have the capacity to feel for others unless it can be directly related to yourself and I don’t have the time nor the patience to have people in my life who can’t step back and let someone else have the spotlight for a minute.
I don’t have a problem with complaining. I do it often enough myself. Complaining from the moment you walk in the door until we part ways sometimes hours later is annoying. If life is that bad for you, perhaps you want to do something to change that. Action is your solution. I promise you, you can complain until the cows come home, it won’t change anything. It’s not even going to help you. All it’s going to do for you is continue to live out your pain. That’s not healthy for anyone involved. If you don’t do anything about your problems the only person you have to blame is yourself, so stop complaining about the shortcomings of others.
If I misspeak, mistype, or mis anything don’t feel the need to correct me at all times. Chances are, it was simply an oversight. I don’t need a grammar lesson nor do I want one. Knowing and remembering all rules of proper speech at all times is dandy. I’m glad for you.Would you like a cookie? If that is the only thing you have in your life to cling to, you have led a very sad existence and I feel for you. That won’t save you though. I don’t want you around me either. Take that as a learning experience. Pretension is annoying.
Admit when you don’t remember something. I hardly believe that you’re perfect and I don’t expect you to remember everything. I do however expect you to admit when you’re mistaken or flat out wrong. I wouldn’t bring it up, if I did not remember infallibly, the subject and the circumstances surrounding it. Perhaps you would, but that is not my mistake to admit.
Do not assume that you know everything there is about me and live by it. People are not static beings so we do change. I won’t hold it against you if you used all of your resources to come to an educated conclusion. I will fault you if you take offense when I tell you that thing is no longer true and you insist that the new thing is false or that I am simply being difficult. I have found that being difficult has no necessity that I am aware of. If it is not necessary for my survival I simply do not do it.
I am aware of my shortcomings. Don’t insist on reminding me of them. I wake in this body with this mind as I go to sleep every night in the same fashion. As hard as I try, I have not found a way to truly escape myself. I would very much like to know how that is done and your reminding me of my current status doesn’t aide me in this discovery.
A headache today, tomorrow, yesterday. A stomachache. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. My ankle hurts. I think I have sinusitis. I’m having an aneurysm. The cramps are too much to bear. Every single day it’s a new malady. If I were as sickly as you claim to be, I’d have gone to the doctor ages ago. If I had no intention of seeing a doctor then I would do my best to live with my afflictions, but I would not complain about it at every chance I got. I obviously have made my own bed. You have as well, but there is no need to drag everyone down with you. I am NOT sick, nor do I believe any longer that you are. Live in your delusions or your insatiable need for attention if you must, but don’t expect me to jump in your carriage.
I find it odd that I express my distaste for something and then the very next day you have also acquired the same peeve. Do you know yourself so little that you do not know what you don’t enjoy unless it is discussed by others first? Or do you enjoy being an insufferable imitator. Imitation is never as good as the real thing. Be your own person. You’ll probably like yourself better.
Stand up and speak your mind. Do not hide behind veiled threats, vague requests, timid inquisitions or double entendres. I have yet to bite someone’s head off for offending me. I highly doubt that I would start on you. If you insist on facing all situations in this matter, I hope that you realize that you’re never going to get the result that you seek of me. Others are perhaps, oblivious to such behavior. I am not.
Whining on adults does not wear well. It won’t make me do anything, think a certain way or feel sorry for you. It will grate on my nerves and cause me to belittle you. If you must act like a two year old just learning communication, then I will treat you as one.
Don’t lie to me. I’m a Pisces. I’ll figure it out.
Don’t expect me to be the person you would like me to be. You didn’t grow me from a pod. I will be who I am at this moment. You don’t have to likeit. You do have to accept or remove yourself from my life.
Do not ignore the anxieties that I have. Do not think that being a hardass is going to make me get over them. How about helping me get over them instead of pushing me further into the abyss?
Don’t belittle my fears. Laughing when someone is afraid doesn’t make them braver. Hold my hand and show me that it will be all right.
If I explain something to you once try and remember it the next time. I don’t like repeating myself repeatedly. If you can’t remember it, then avoid the topic at all costs.
Don't make promises you are not positive that you can keep. To be positive that you can keep a promise you must know without a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing that will sway your thought. If you can think of anything that might change your mind, then don't promise. If you are easily manipulated by outside influences then don't open your mouth about promises. Don't talk to me about making a promise that at the time was feasible. A promise is not a malleable defense for you to use at your whim. If your promise can be reneged whenever you see fit, then I have no use for you. More than likely the world has no use for you either.
I am not stupid nor am I a child. Do not treat me like a fragile piece of china or worse a bomb about to explode. At least treat me as an adolescent with half a brain and with a modest amount of restraint.
Love me when I’m insufferable, stubborn, annoying, fearful, messy, passionate, difficult, indifferent, exasperating and not as cute as I used to be.
Love me when I hate myself, when I hate the world and when I hate you most of all.