the battle is lost
I can't do this anymore. My life is a series of things I don't understand, and more than that I do not like what I have become. Dennis wins.. I don't like life anymore. I have nothing that would make me love myself, the only thing left in my body is agonizingly hate filled guilt and weakness. My mind is gone, and I have nothing in the world that is pure or sweet or mine. I have nothing that makes me want to be here anymore. I have nothing and no one of my own. I am sitting here wishing I had some kind of plague or something to take me out of this fucking misery of a world. I can't do this anymore. I can't still feel the loss that is Dennis. I can't take it. I am so miserably weak and stupid. I can't find anything in the whole world that is worth being here. I cant' be this person anymore. I'm done.
I am losing the battle today peeps. don't freak out. I will be here tomorrow writing more worthless shit, I am simply losing the battle today. fuck... I wish I had a real gun. dammmit. shooting myself with hannibal or scipio would just sting. and pain I have enough of.
If there was a god or gods or whatever they would find a way to give me some peace and take me the fuck out of the world. I have had enough. I give up. I'm done.
I am losing the battle today peeps. don't freak out. I will be here tomorrow writing more worthless shit, I am simply losing the battle today. fuck... I wish I had a real gun. dammmit. shooting myself with hannibal or scipio would just sting. and pain I have enough of.
If there was a god or gods or whatever they would find a way to give me some peace and take me the fuck out of the world. I have had enough. I give up. I'm done.