someday I will learn something.
For now I seem doomed to blindness. It feels like there is nothing new for me to learn, except that pain, even old pain comes in waves disguised as new hope. There is nothing for me in MS, there never was, it is just a silly old stubborn streak which made me deny that there was none. I will be coming home soon, and not soon enough. I miss the horrible lonlines which accompanies my everyday, and I am glad that for now there will be nothing and no one who can fill the void. Despondence, dissolusion, clear thinking must be the ruler of my little empire now. As it is new to the throne, we shall see how that goes, but for sure, I am in some kind of depression. Old familiar wounds crack open... I am home here in the dark.