Massive Posting July 2012 to March 2013
April 8, 2013:
Posting for July 2012 to March 2013
So, I did not post from July to April. Much has happened. My life is a bit sadder and less stable than in June of 2012. I won't post my progress or lack of progress on Missions, as that would be a Really Long Post. Under the cut is a bit of narrative about my missions.
I was laid off from the Unemployment Insurance Agency. This led to old fears and scripts of not “being good enough for the real world.” Also, I have had to work hard not to fall back into the metal trauma from the previous times I was unemployed.
Meanwhile, my sister has struggled with acute mental illness. The care of my niece has become a primary focus of my life.
In September, I had to break up with Nick, as he was treating my poorly. I started dating Mark, James, Gamaliel and Matthew. I fell for Mark. He did not fall for me. I broke up with Mark. These two relationships juxtaposed taught me something important about valuing myself in relationship and taking care of my own needs. That I should not stick around, waiting to be treated better by someone who is incapable or unwilling to love me in the manner in which I want to be loved. This does not mean breaking up hurts less, but perhaps it will become more graceful and make me feel less diminished every time it happens.
The big magical working I did was a trance to the Norns. They showed me my wyrd tapestry, which has an intricate pattern, with many patches missing. I got the message that I need to wait to find folks whose wyrd overlays with mine. They then pointed out several times this has happened. The campers then cast a spell, working with our wyrd, that was time released with the crocuses blooming in our bioregions. I am still waiting, and trying to be solid and strong within myself while I wait. As Matt Sweet points out, being single is not being alone. And I am chanting “so I said to myself be still, and wait, till the darkness becomes the light, and the stillness, the dancing…”
Complete, one-time events: 26 8 more than July 2012
Complete, annualized events: 9 The same as July 2012
Exceeding expectations: 29 7 More than July 2012
Making progress: 13 3 Less than July 2012
Needs improvement: 8 3 more than July 2012
On hold/have not started/not created yet: 16 13 Less than July 2012
Posting for July 2012 to March 2013
So, I did not post from July to April. Much has happened. My life is a bit sadder and less stable than in June of 2012. I won't post my progress or lack of progress on Missions, as that would be a Really Long Post. Under the cut is a bit of narrative about my missions.
I was laid off from the Unemployment Insurance Agency. This led to old fears and scripts of not “being good enough for the real world.” Also, I have had to work hard not to fall back into the metal trauma from the previous times I was unemployed.
Meanwhile, my sister has struggled with acute mental illness. The care of my niece has become a primary focus of my life.
In September, I had to break up with Nick, as he was treating my poorly. I started dating Mark, James, Gamaliel and Matthew. I fell for Mark. He did not fall for me. I broke up with Mark. These two relationships juxtaposed taught me something important about valuing myself in relationship and taking care of my own needs. That I should not stick around, waiting to be treated better by someone who is incapable or unwilling to love me in the manner in which I want to be loved. This does not mean breaking up hurts less, but perhaps it will become more graceful and make me feel less diminished every time it happens.
The big magical working I did was a trance to the Norns. They showed me my wyrd tapestry, which has an intricate pattern, with many patches missing. I got the message that I need to wait to find folks whose wyrd overlays with mine. They then pointed out several times this has happened. The campers then cast a spell, working with our wyrd, that was time released with the crocuses blooming in our bioregions. I am still waiting, and trying to be solid and strong within myself while I wait. As Matt Sweet points out, being single is not being alone. And I am chanting “so I said to myself be still, and wait, till the darkness becomes the light, and the stillness, the dancing…”
Complete, one-time events: 26 8 more than July 2012
Complete, annualized events: 9 The same as July 2012
Exceeding expectations: 29 7 More than July 2012
Making progress: 13 3 Less than July 2012
Needs improvement: 8 3 more than July 2012
On hold/have not started/not created yet: 16 13 Less than July 2012