Antisocial
I've decided to give this journal slight changes. I realized it was necessary when somebody exerted effort and found it. My online handle is pretty much unique, so finding me won't be so hard, however, if it was found using other information, then I've been stupid to assume that this wouldn't be found just like that.
Before I even start with the main entry, I'd like to apologize for any typographical or grammatical errors you might find. I'm currently typing this while drinking gin.
Moving on, I may have further developed my ability to be antisocial (if you'd even call it an "ability"), based on what happened last weekend. I recently refused company of people. I said "no" so many times, I felt like I was Robin from How I Met Your Mother. She says "no" so many times when she means it, you'd be stupid not to get her point.
Anyway, I have been feeling out of place around people I actually am acquainted with lately. Worse than that, I'm slowly beginning to feel that I should stop interacting with my "friends". I mean, who the heck wants to have me around for company? I've been infamous for my negativity, that there was this guy whose day wouldn't be complete if he didn't hear me rant about something insignificant.
I now feel that being related to me is a burden. So I've opted to reduce/stop venting out to my friends, thus the need for this journal. Online posts were also trimmed down by a great amount, since I get into more arguments and complaints than decent discussions. I may also decrease the frequency of asking my close friends to go out, I'll just play along if somebody calls the shots.
Aren't I worried about being lonely? Hell yes, I am. So what's the deal? That's simple, I do not want to be a bother to anyone. The significance of my existence isn't enough to merit much attention, so I make do with whatever attention I do get.
The office? It's just one of those facades I need to put up to be able to work effectively. I wouldn't want to build any relationships at work just to prevent politics from becoming an issue (if you've been reading previously, then you might have an idea why).
Just how long I'm able to function like this, I do not know. I'm already drinking gin alone, something I do when I start feeling lonely.
I wonder... what would it be like to meet someone like myself? How would two antisocial people interact after knowing how lonely they both are? Can there really be a way for two introverted people to become less lonely in each other's company?
Before I even start with the main entry, I'd like to apologize for any typographical or grammatical errors you might find. I'm currently typing this while drinking gin.
Moving on, I may have further developed my ability to be antisocial (if you'd even call it an "ability"), based on what happened last weekend. I recently refused company of people. I said "no" so many times, I felt like I was Robin from How I Met Your Mother. She says "no" so many times when she means it, you'd be stupid not to get her point.
Anyway, I have been feeling out of place around people I actually am acquainted with lately. Worse than that, I'm slowly beginning to feel that I should stop interacting with my "friends". I mean, who the heck wants to have me around for company? I've been infamous for my negativity, that there was this guy whose day wouldn't be complete if he didn't hear me rant about something insignificant.
I now feel that being related to me is a burden. So I've opted to reduce/stop venting out to my friends, thus the need for this journal. Online posts were also trimmed down by a great amount, since I get into more arguments and complaints than decent discussions. I may also decrease the frequency of asking my close friends to go out, I'll just play along if somebody calls the shots.
Aren't I worried about being lonely? Hell yes, I am. So what's the deal? That's simple, I do not want to be a bother to anyone. The significance of my existence isn't enough to merit much attention, so I make do with whatever attention I do get.
The office? It's just one of those facades I need to put up to be able to work effectively. I wouldn't want to build any relationships at work just to prevent politics from becoming an issue (if you've been reading previously, then you might have an idea why).
Just how long I'm able to function like this, I do not know. I'm already drinking gin alone, something I do when I start feeling lonely.
I wonder... what would it be like to meet someone like myself? How would two antisocial people interact after knowing how lonely they both are? Can there really be a way for two introverted people to become less lonely in each other's company?