in which my dog is stupid

[hradzka]

DOG. "Hey, Boss, I'm running! Look at me running!"
HINES. "Good girl. You run your bumpers off."
DOG. "Wow! Look at THIS!"
HINES. "Honey, that's a fire ant nest. You don't really want to -- NO!"
DOG. "OH BOY! It's soft and fluffy!"
HINES. "Well, I suppose this is one way to learn."

DOG. *jumps up and runs away, leaving a streaming trail of ants*
HINES. "There you go. See, I told you -- "
DOG. *runs perimeter of field, pulls high-G u-turn, dives back onto fire ants*
DOG. "This'll teach 'em!"
DOG. *flops on fire ants, looks satisfied*
HINES. *shakes head*
DOG. *leaps to feet and starts running again*
HINES. "Look, that's twice now. Don't you think that --"
DOG. *dives face-first into milling fire ants*
HINES. *facepalm*
DOG. *sits up*
DOG. *facedirt*

HINES. "Look, I *told* you."
DOG. *shakes head, gives fire ants a dirty look*
DOG. *races away and starts pedalling in a circle on the ground like Curly of the Three Stooges*
HINES. "Will you at least let me pick them off you now?"
DOG. "yes please boss."