Catharsis
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
I don't like lemonade.
When things are right and they turn out to be devastatingly wrong, I have a hard time dealing.
One of the things that shook me most about "New Voices" tonight was that this could all be over at any moment. Sure, it's unlikely; but the possibility is still there. And I don't tell people enough how much I appreciate them. And that's a horrible thing to never have said.
This isn't emo. This is real. And reality can does suck.
This is the story of the fish that got away. This is the story of a weathered, weary fisherman, too tired of tying new flies in hopes of finally finding something that a fish will bite. This is the story of strong, real emotion. This is the story of unbridled feeling. This is the story of me.
Times like this, I need to keep my faith: that everything happens for a reason, that you can't help it, that there's a lesson to be learned from every unfavorable situation, and that in the end you will come out stronger for it.
I do have so many things to be thankful for, and I can't lose sight of that. I'm getting an education. I'm building a resume and working toward a career. I'm good at most things I do. I eat regularly. And, most of all, I have wonderful friends.
And that needs to be enough. And it is enough. And I need to realize that and be content with the way things are.
But learning takes time. That's why I'm going to be in school for the rest of my natural life and still not know enough. That's why people live so long: so they can keep on learning.
This is enough disjointed rambling.
To those of you that have noticed and inquired (and to those of you who haven't, an update): I'm not okay. I will be, hopefully soon. But I have to learn, and... well, that takes time.
I love you. I appreciate you. I'll never take that for granted or assume it goes unsaid.
I don't like lemonade.
When things are right and they turn out to be devastatingly wrong, I have a hard time dealing.
One of the things that shook me most about "New Voices" tonight was that this could all be over at any moment. Sure, it's unlikely; but the possibility is still there. And I don't tell people enough how much I appreciate them. And that's a horrible thing to never have said.
This isn't emo. This is real. And reality can does suck.
This is the story of the fish that got away. This is the story of a weathered, weary fisherman, too tired of tying new flies in hopes of finally finding something that a fish will bite. This is the story of strong, real emotion. This is the story of unbridled feeling. This is the story of me.
Times like this, I need to keep my faith: that everything happens for a reason, that you can't help it, that there's a lesson to be learned from every unfavorable situation, and that in the end you will come out stronger for it.
I do have so many things to be thankful for, and I can't lose sight of that. I'm getting an education. I'm building a resume and working toward a career. I'm good at most things I do. I eat regularly. And, most of all, I have wonderful friends.
And that needs to be enough. And it is enough. And I need to realize that and be content with the way things are.
But learning takes time. That's why I'm going to be in school for the rest of my natural life and still not know enough. That's why people live so long: so they can keep on learning.
This is enough disjointed rambling.
To those of you that have noticed and inquired (and to those of you who haven't, an update): I'm not okay. I will be, hopefully soon. But I have to learn, and... well, that takes time.
I love you. I appreciate you. I'll never take that for granted or assume it goes unsaid.