Castle Fanfiction - "Into Dust" - (PG)
Disclaimer: Castle is owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and all the grand high mucky mucks of ABC. No copyright infringement is intended and no money was made from this of course. Any similarity to any other story not my own is coincidence.
Title: Into Dust
Genre: Castle, angst, AU, Richard/Kate
Rating: PG
Timeline/Spoilers: Basically spoilers for spoilers because I have seen neither of these episodes, but, "47 Seconds" and "The Limey"
Author's Notes: Well, first, this will of course be very AU come, like, tomorrow I suppose...
And second, I never meant this to be angst, that just sort of crept in, so there may be a bit of unevenness...
Oh, and the title is from the Mazzy Star song
"You know."
"What?" Rick mumbled, scrubbing a weary hand down his stubble shadowed face.
"You know..." Kate repeated in a tone that Rick couldn't quite decipher. It could have been an accusation... but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why she would show up at his door at 3:30 in the morning, in a black evening gown meant to take his breath away, just to make cryptic accusations.
"Well... yes, I happen to know a lot of things," Rick drawled. "And I'd be willing to go into detail about just that Detective Beckett... but maybe some other time than... say...3:30 in the morning?"
Kate nodded almost distractedly before repeating herself once more as she began a small pace in front of the open door. "You know..."
"Kate, what is this about... what do you think I..."
"You know..." she interrupted. "You know I love you, and now you're what... angry... hurt... upset?" She asked in rapid succession, stopping to look at him a moment before taking back up her pacing movement.
Rick blinked, his jaw threatening to drop in confusion. Kate barreled on, seemingly unaware.
"Because I didn't tell you? Is that why you've been pulling away; going on lunch dates with giggly blondes?"
She waved a vague hand in his direction.
"Who, by the way, is all wrong for you. She's the kind of girl that Rick the Playboy would date, and that's not really you..."
Kate paused, looking at her hand as if she wasn't entirely certain how it had ended up raised in the first place. She dropped it quickly.
"Kate..."
"Never mind, it's none of my business who you date or don't date," she said abruptly. "I don't know why I'm here. I just... he was dropping me off... and then all the things Lanie said started running through my head... and I realized..." Kate trailed off. "Just forget it Castle. I'm sorry I woke you. Just... I'll see you at the precinct..." She stopped suddenly, and Rick could see her face crumple just a little, as if she might start crying the moment she was out of his sight. She turned to go but Rick's hand shot out to wrap around her bare wrist and stop her.
"Kate... can we go back to the part where you said you love me?"
She turned to look at him, blinking a little.
"I love you?"
"I don't know... do you?"
"What are you talking about, Castle?"
"You know, I'm not really sure actually. You show up at my door at 3 in the morning, in a fabulous dress, that you look amazing in by the way, going on about me knowing something... and being distant... and dating giggly blondes... and Kate... you seem to be having this conversation about being in love with me... and you know, I'd really like to be involved in the conversation, because I've been in love with you for four years now, so if you're in love with me too..." Rick trailed off.
"I thought you knew," she replied quietly. "I thought you knew... but... Lanie was right after all, and you were..." Kate waved her free hand. "Well... tired of waiting. And I don't blame you Castle. I mean..."
Rick dropped her other hand, and Kate watched it fall back to her side.
"I didn't know..."
"Then why..."
"I heard you... that day in the precinct... with the bombing suspect," he said in a low voice. "And I thought I could... I thought... but..."
"You heard me?"
"I heard you tell him that you remembered everything... everything Kate. And... and I felt like an idiot. Knowing that you knew... and still..." He took a deep breath. "That's what I know Kate; that you heard me tell you that I love you. That you've known all this time, and still..."
"Castle... I'd just been shot... Montgomery was dead... and then you just... I mean, what did you expect me to do?"
"I don't know, say something... anything... not run away and hide... not lie to me... anything but lie..."
"Castle..."
"It's been ten months Kate... just how long did you expect me to wait?"
"Well, I thought... always..."
Rick met her darkened eyes with his own.
"You know, this was not how I pictured this going," he told her in a quiet voice.
"Me either," she admitted.
Suddenly Rick leaned forward and gave her a kiss that tasted of bittersweet and might-have-beens.
"Or that," Kate added when they had parted, feeling, more than seeing Rick nod in agreement. "What does this mean?" She asked finally as the silence began to pull them apart.
"I don't know," Rick confessed.
"Because... because you do love me?" Kate asked with a small tremor in her voice that was more than a little hopeful, but far from certain.
Rick nodded just a little in reply.
"And you love me?" He asked in return, his own voice less than steady.
Kate gave her own small nod.
"But..." Rick drawled.
"But you're not Rook, and I'm not Nikki, and this isn't one of your books Castle... maybe there are no happy endings... maybe love really isn't enough... not if..." she trailed off a bit helplessly.
"Maybe," Rick agreed and Kate looked up, surprised. He shrugged. "We can't even admit that we love each other without hurting one other. That's got to mean something, right? And I'm thinking that it can't mean anything good."
Kate opened her mouth to reply, then quickly closed it, at a loss.
"Look, maybe we just need some time. My publisher's been bugging me to make this European tour to promote the new book now that the movie's doing well over there. I've been putting them off, but maybe I should do it, yeah? It would give us a chance..."
"A chance to do what, Rick?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, Kate... maybe... maybe a chance to figure out where we go from here... if there's anywhere to go from here."
They stood in silence until Kate finally broke it almost painfully, her voice smaller than either of them had ever thought it capable of being. "How long?"
"I'll see you again in the Fall," he assured her. "No matter what we decide, okay?"
Kate nodded once in agreement. "Okay, Castle... I'll... I'll see you in September," she replied before turning to go.
"Oh, and Kate?"
She stopped and turned back to look at her partner.
"If we do figure this whole thing out... wear that dress on our first date?" He gave her a familiar cocky grin and she couldn't help but smile back in response.
“When we do Rick,” Kate promised impulsively...
Title: Into Dust
Genre: Castle, angst, AU, Richard/Kate
Rating: PG
Timeline/Spoilers: Basically spoilers for spoilers because I have seen neither of these episodes, but, "47 Seconds" and "The Limey"
Author's Notes: Well, first, this will of course be very AU come, like, tomorrow I suppose...
And second, I never meant this to be angst, that just sort of crept in, so there may be a bit of unevenness...
Oh, and the title is from the Mazzy Star song
"You know."
"What?" Rick mumbled, scrubbing a weary hand down his stubble shadowed face.
"You know..." Kate repeated in a tone that Rick couldn't quite decipher. It could have been an accusation... but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why she would show up at his door at 3:30 in the morning, in a black evening gown meant to take his breath away, just to make cryptic accusations.
"Well... yes, I happen to know a lot of things," Rick drawled. "And I'd be willing to go into detail about just that Detective Beckett... but maybe some other time than... say...3:30 in the morning?"
Kate nodded almost distractedly before repeating herself once more as she began a small pace in front of the open door. "You know..."
"Kate, what is this about... what do you think I..."
"You know..." she interrupted. "You know I love you, and now you're what... angry... hurt... upset?" She asked in rapid succession, stopping to look at him a moment before taking back up her pacing movement.
Rick blinked, his jaw threatening to drop in confusion. Kate barreled on, seemingly unaware.
"Because I didn't tell you? Is that why you've been pulling away; going on lunch dates with giggly blondes?"
She waved a vague hand in his direction.
"Who, by the way, is all wrong for you. She's the kind of girl that Rick the Playboy would date, and that's not really you..."
Kate paused, looking at her hand as if she wasn't entirely certain how it had ended up raised in the first place. She dropped it quickly.
"Kate..."
"Never mind, it's none of my business who you date or don't date," she said abruptly. "I don't know why I'm here. I just... he was dropping me off... and then all the things Lanie said started running through my head... and I realized..." Kate trailed off. "Just forget it Castle. I'm sorry I woke you. Just... I'll see you at the precinct..." She stopped suddenly, and Rick could see her face crumple just a little, as if she might start crying the moment she was out of his sight. She turned to go but Rick's hand shot out to wrap around her bare wrist and stop her.
"Kate... can we go back to the part where you said you love me?"
She turned to look at him, blinking a little.
"I love you?"
"I don't know... do you?"
"What are you talking about, Castle?"
"You know, I'm not really sure actually. You show up at my door at 3 in the morning, in a fabulous dress, that you look amazing in by the way, going on about me knowing something... and being distant... and dating giggly blondes... and Kate... you seem to be having this conversation about being in love with me... and you know, I'd really like to be involved in the conversation, because I've been in love with you for four years now, so if you're in love with me too..." Rick trailed off.
"I thought you knew," she replied quietly. "I thought you knew... but... Lanie was right after all, and you were..." Kate waved her free hand. "Well... tired of waiting. And I don't blame you Castle. I mean..."
Rick dropped her other hand, and Kate watched it fall back to her side.
"I didn't know..."
"Then why..."
"I heard you... that day in the precinct... with the bombing suspect," he said in a low voice. "And I thought I could... I thought... but..."
"You heard me?"
"I heard you tell him that you remembered everything... everything Kate. And... and I felt like an idiot. Knowing that you knew... and still..." He took a deep breath. "That's what I know Kate; that you heard me tell you that I love you. That you've known all this time, and still..."
"Castle... I'd just been shot... Montgomery was dead... and then you just... I mean, what did you expect me to do?"
"I don't know, say something... anything... not run away and hide... not lie to me... anything but lie..."
"Castle..."
"It's been ten months Kate... just how long did you expect me to wait?"
"Well, I thought... always..."
Rick met her darkened eyes with his own.
"You know, this was not how I pictured this going," he told her in a quiet voice.
"Me either," she admitted.
Suddenly Rick leaned forward and gave her a kiss that tasted of bittersweet and might-have-beens.
"Or that," Kate added when they had parted, feeling, more than seeing Rick nod in agreement. "What does this mean?" She asked finally as the silence began to pull them apart.
"I don't know," Rick confessed.
"Because... because you do love me?" Kate asked with a small tremor in her voice that was more than a little hopeful, but far from certain.
Rick nodded just a little in reply.
"And you love me?" He asked in return, his own voice less than steady.
Kate gave her own small nod.
"But..." Rick drawled.
"But you're not Rook, and I'm not Nikki, and this isn't one of your books Castle... maybe there are no happy endings... maybe love really isn't enough... not if..." she trailed off a bit helplessly.
"Maybe," Rick agreed and Kate looked up, surprised. He shrugged. "We can't even admit that we love each other without hurting one other. That's got to mean something, right? And I'm thinking that it can't mean anything good."
Kate opened her mouth to reply, then quickly closed it, at a loss.
"Look, maybe we just need some time. My publisher's been bugging me to make this European tour to promote the new book now that the movie's doing well over there. I've been putting them off, but maybe I should do it, yeah? It would give us a chance..."
"A chance to do what, Rick?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, Kate... maybe... maybe a chance to figure out where we go from here... if there's anywhere to go from here."
They stood in silence until Kate finally broke it almost painfully, her voice smaller than either of them had ever thought it capable of being. "How long?"
"I'll see you again in the Fall," he assured her. "No matter what we decide, okay?"
Kate nodded once in agreement. "Okay, Castle... I'll... I'll see you in September," she replied before turning to go.
"Oh, and Kate?"
She stopped and turned back to look at her partner.
"If we do figure this whole thing out... wear that dress on our first date?" He gave her a familiar cocky grin and she couldn't help but smile back in response.
“When we do Rick,” Kate promised impulsively...