OK, then I'll type them up
Edit 2007.09.05 09:08:42 -- Huzzah! T3h goggel has found this writeup, and it enabled a like-minded soul to find my transcription! Said soul was kind enough to share two suggestions for improvement. I have adopted one of them. In the interest full disclosure, I'm going to highlight words I consider to be interesting or contestable, and make details available if you hover (hover over this text if you don't know what I mean).
ironchefrocks showed me this wonder of the yotuves:
I wanted to read it, so I used t3h goggel, and found only somebody's blog entry wherein they note that they hadn't been able to find the whole thing either:
http://gwazdor.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html
So! I do it me'se'f. If this isn't a good use for a blog, I don't know what is.
*beep!*
This is a recorded analytic program readout to be utilized by engineering personnel exclusively.
*beep!*
We will start with a physical description of the external components. All ready? Let us begin.
*beep!*
At the upper right of the modular system console you will note the longitudinally polarized antenna resulting in a completely unitized composite sheath. This unique design is virtually indestructible, and is, of course, guaranteed for the life of the unit. The longitudinally polarized antenna functions primarily as an attenuated parametric selector for the recycling binary alternator.
*beep!*
There is an alarm system located next to the antenna which rings if any portion of this machine is damaged. *bell* If this alarm rings, the only way it can be silenced is by locating the origin of the malfunction.
*beep!*
Now, immediately adjacent to the alarm is the digital iambic generator. This is probably the most valuable component in the entire system and, as such, it should be handled with extreme care. If you were to look inside this unit you would find a string of delicately balanced H-14 analog capacitators. It takes over 185 man-hours to produce a capacitator because each one must be painstakingly assembled with a 301 electromicrometer. These capacitators are connected into the dual exhaust intake valve.
*beep!*
The quantum polarization of the energy transfer involved herein results in the emission of a small amount of gaseous methane. Which is [laughing... can't hear] through the exhaust manifold. A mere two dVs of this gas are enough to kill an elephant, so extreme precaution should be taken before disengaging any part of this component.
*beep!*
If for any reason this unit is tampered with the 90-day warranty on the system is invalidated.... system is invalidated.... system is invalidated... system is in validated.... 'xiliary coordinates.
*beep!*
Now over on top of the intercellular power generator you will see a spherical voltage oblongata. It should be noted that this is a rather expensive piece of equipment. Replacement costs range in the area of two to three thousand dollars each.
*beep!*
The Gandalf pentometer on the left-hand side of the unit is also extremely expensive because it contains a 17-jewel movement of chromatic titanium.
*beep!*
By way of contrast, the Doppler-sublimated magneto located on the front of the generator can be purchased in any hardware store for about thirty-seven cents.
*beep!*
The intercellular power generator itself is filled with a series of manxome coils attenuated dicotyledonously.
*beep!*
In this same circuit there is an intaglio of numismatic krypton wavelengths which abrogate the hydromatic mome raths at the rate of five ventricle icons per micro-cantabile. The electromagnetic
*beep!*
console in this same area is synchronized to a pragmatic signal compiler by means of a sonar metabolic transducer for maximum data existentialization.
*beep!*
Finally, it is important that the variable-speed impedance reactor have a five-bar lead into the solid-state, hydrogenous declension. In conclusion, no matter how much [laughing... can't hear] try to destroy the components, nothing can keep this machine from performing its primary function, which is to be the most powerful exploding device known to man.
I heart Jim Henson. If you can hear something I can't or you think I got part of it wrong/imperfect, please holla. I believe this will soon become the Internets' most definitive transcript of this particular bit of muppetry.
ironchefrocks showed me this wonder of the yotuves:
Click to viewI wanted to read it, so I used t3h goggel, and found only somebody's blog entry wherein they note that they hadn't been able to find the whole thing either:
http://gwazdor.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html
So! I do it me'se'f. If this isn't a good use for a blog, I don't know what is.
*beep!*
This is a recorded analytic program readout to be utilized by engineering personnel exclusively.
*beep!*
We will start with a physical description of the external components. All ready? Let us begin.
*beep!*
At the upper right of the modular system console you will note the longitudinally polarized antenna resulting in a completely unitized composite sheath. This unique design is virtually indestructible, and is, of course, guaranteed for the life of the unit. The longitudinally polarized antenna functions primarily as an attenuated parametric selector for the recycling binary alternator.
*beep!*
There is an alarm system located next to the antenna which rings if any portion of this machine is damaged. *bell* If this alarm rings, the only way it can be silenced is by locating the origin of the malfunction.
*beep!*
Now, immediately adjacent to the alarm is the digital iambic generator. This is probably the most valuable component in the entire system and, as such, it should be handled with extreme care. If you were to look inside this unit you would find a string of delicately balanced H-14 analog capacitators. It takes over 185 man-hours to produce a capacitator because each one must be painstakingly assembled with a 301 electromicrometer. These capacitators are connected into the dual exhaust intake valve.
*beep!*
The quantum polarization of the energy transfer involved herein results in the emission of a small amount of gaseous methane. Which is [laughing... can't hear] through the exhaust manifold. A mere two dVs of this gas are enough to kill an elephant, so extreme precaution should be taken before disengaging any part of this component.
*beep!*
If for any reason this unit is tampered with the 90-day warranty on the system is invalidated.... system is invalidated.... system is invalidated... system is in validated.... 'xiliary coordinates.
*beep!*
Now over on top of the intercellular power generator you will see a spherical voltage oblongata. It should be noted that this is a rather expensive piece of equipment. Replacement costs range in the area of two to three thousand dollars each.
*beep!*
The Gandalf pentometer on the left-hand side of the unit is also extremely expensive because it contains a 17-jewel movement of chromatic titanium.
*beep!*
By way of contrast, the Doppler-sublimated magneto located on the front of the generator can be purchased in any hardware store for about thirty-seven cents.
*beep!*
The intercellular power generator itself is filled with a series of manxome coils attenuated dicotyledonously.
*beep!*
In this same circuit there is an intaglio of numismatic krypton wavelengths which abrogate the hydromatic mome raths at the rate of five ventricle icons per micro-cantabile. The electromagnetic
*beep!*
console in this same area is synchronized to a pragmatic signal compiler by means of a sonar metabolic transducer for maximum data existentialization.
*beep!*
Finally, it is important that the variable-speed impedance reactor have a five-bar lead into the solid-state, hydrogenous declension. In conclusion, no matter how much [laughing... can't hear] try to destroy the components, nothing can keep this machine from performing its primary function, which is to be the most powerful exploding device known to man.
I heart Jim Henson. If you can hear something I can't or you think I got part of it wrong/imperfect, please holla. I believe this will soon become the Internets' most definitive transcript of this particular bit of muppetry.