For lesyeuxverts00: Once It Starts
Author/Artist: occasusvenustas
Giftee: lesyeuxverts00
Title: Once It Starts
Character(s)/Pairing(s): James/Snape, James/Lily and Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Summary: It never stopped raining. ~1500 words.
He absently reached for the pack of cigarettes that were lying on the side table, dropping them quickly when he heard the rude, "Do you mind?" from the kitchen table that sat directly behind the sofa.
James turned and fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Right. Sorry, forgot."
His wife, with the ever increasing belly, glowered at him. "Why don't you just throw them away?"
"Because you won't be pregnant forever," James said with a grin.
"And for some reason," she said with her hormonal sneer he had recently grown accustomed to, "you seem to think that I'm going to allow that filthy habit of yours to continue once our child is born."
"She's erm, got a point there, mate," said Sirius Black who was sitting a few seats away from James.
"Helpful, thanks," James snarled.
"Jamie..." said Remus, who was sitting in between James and Sirius. He was always trying to keep the peace when he could, but the hormones and the tension of the ever-growing war made that more difficult each day.
"Forget it, please," James said. He stole a glance back at Lily who had gone back to reading her book on childbirth. She was doing that thing again, that thing he hated so much, with her tongue on her lip. It was so much like him. Like... but he couldn't even think the name.
He tried not to notice how close Remus and Sirius were sitting. He had been trying not to notice how close they were since fifth year, actually, but now that they were adults, it was even more clear to him and God he hated it.
"I'm going to have a lie down," Lily said suddenly. "Not feeling so plucky all of a sudden."
Normally James would have immediately asked what he could do for her, but today he simply sat quiet until she had disappeared into the bedroom.
"You alright, James?" Remus asked after Lily had shut the door.
"Yeah," Sirius cut in. "You've been acting off since we got here."
"I'm fine," James snapped, and then realised snapping at his friends was doing no good for any of them. "I've just been sleepless lately."
"So go and get some rest," Remus said, nudging him. "We can take care of our own entertainment."
"Spare me," James said, holding up his hand. He started for the hall but when he realised Remus and Sirius would be looking anywhere but in his direction, he slipped out the backdoor, grabbing his cloak on the way out.
He had to admit he couldn't hate it in Godric's Hollow. Even their slightly batty, overly friendly neighbour, Bathilda rarely got to him. Sometimes, in Godric's Hollow, the war seemed so far away from everything. Sometimes he forgot just how dangerous it was for Lily to be pregnant right then, and how much of the action they were missing just trying to keep Lily out of harm's way.
Until she gave birth, of course. She had made that perfectly clear. Oh, she would adore motherhood but she would not allow a child of hers to grow up in a world run by the Dark Lord. And James respected her for that.
But he didn't want to talk of the war much, now. Not now that the Death Eaters had been, at least to the Order, publicly named. Every time he heard that name... his name... he wanted to cry, or curse something. Anything to let out the emotion that was welling up inside of him.
It seemed involuntary, suddenly, with the thoughts of Lily and him racing about his mind, and he threw the cloak on and Apparated. He was suddenly unsure of himself, too. Unsure of where he was going to land, but there would be no mistaking this place. No mistaking Spinner's End.
He stumbled when he landed, taking himself by surprise, but before he could right himself, he felt the hard tip of a wand pressed to the back of his head. "What do you want?" the achingly familiar voice asked.
"I..." James began but didn't know what it was he wanted at all.
"Bastard," he spat and tore the cloak from James' body.
James turned to look into the inky black eyes and found the pain still fresh. "Severus."
"Fuck you!" Severus spat angrily. "What are you doing here? Did she pop out your little brat, yet? Is that why you're here? To brag how the great James Potter finally procreated?"
"She isn't due until the first of August," James said, his mouth oddly dry.
"What do you want then, Potter?"
"I don't know," James said weakly.
"You don't know?" Snape sneered, mocking him. "You just happened to Apparate on my door step for reasons you don't know?" Snape took a step back and lowered his wand. "It's not illegal to be what I am, Potter. So if you were hoping for an arrest..."
"What you are?" James spat back, suddenly very angry. "A Death Eater? No, I suppose now a days it's not illegal to be 'what you are.'"
"Go away," Snape said, and this time he didn't sound angry, just miserable.
"I wanted to," James began.
"No," Snape interrupted sharply. "No. I don't care what you wanted to do, Potter. I don't care anymore. You chose your path."
"Isn't that what she said to you?" James asked.
Snape didn't bother with the wand; he hit James square in the jaw. "It wasn't ever about her."
"I know," James said, looking down. "I know."
"So why?" Snape asked.
"It was the only logical thing to do," James said. He looked up at Snape and felt foolish; tears were pooling in his eyes. "You really had chosen your path and I wasn't going to follow you."
"I never asked you to," Snape said, his voice flat, emotionless.
"No, but you wouldn't have followed me, either," James pointed out. "Which left us where?"
"Anywhere," Snape said, "the world at our feet."
"Until your Lord brings it crashing down," James said. It was a harsh reminder that made them both wince. "I really don't know why I came here."
"So you should probably go back," Snape replied.
"Probably," James said. "They'll notice I've gone."
Snape licked his lips and looked up at the sky. "Think it'll rain?" he asked absently.
James wanted to laugh. Oh how he wanted to laugh, but he couldn't find it in him. "Once it starts, I don't think it's going to stop." He touched the side of Snape's face gently with his fingers, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he kissed him.
"No more," Snape said.
"I'll never be over this, over us. Over you."
"You're hopeless," Severus sneered.
"So are you."
- - ---- - -
"Severus, remember your promise." The voice of Albus Dumbledore came from behind him and Snape was startled, though he didn't show it.
"How could I possibly forget with you constantly hovering over my shoulder like that?" Snape sneered.
"The feast will begin soon. I do hope you'll be joining us," Albus said a little kinder this time.
"I will, shortly," Snape said.
Albus looked towards the front doors which had not opened yet. The first years would be arriving any minute. "Do you-" he began.
"Please," Severus said.
Albus bowed his head and walked away. Severus found himself sinking into the shadows of the corridor on the stairs that looked over the entrance hall. He had a perfect view and he was shielded from their prying eyes.
It only took a moment before the doors opened and the children walked in. Was I ever so small, Snape mused to himself as they ambled in after McGonagall. He could spot him straight away, looking around with his wide green eyes, her eyes. He was whispering to another boy, another damned Weasley by the look of it.
Snape couldn't take it anymore and hurried off down a back corridor, slipping in through the teachers' entrance to the Great Hall. He took his place at the table with the rest and watched in silence as Harry Potter, son of James and Lily Potter, was sorted into Gryffindor. He couldn't take his eyes off the boy, and not because of the promise, or the prophesy, or the damned scar.
"It never stopped raining," Snape muttered.
Quirrel, who was seated beside Snape, jerked a little. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing," Snape said.
"Oh, I thought you had commented on the weather," Quirrel said.
"Just inward musings," Snape replied with an indifferent shrug. He looked across the Gryffindor table again and felt, for just a second, hope wasn't lost.
Giftee: lesyeuxverts00
Title: Once It Starts
Character(s)/Pairing(s): James/Snape, James/Lily and Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Summary: It never stopped raining. ~1500 words.
He absently reached for the pack of cigarettes that were lying on the side table, dropping them quickly when he heard the rude, "Do you mind?" from the kitchen table that sat directly behind the sofa.
James turned and fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Right. Sorry, forgot."
His wife, with the ever increasing belly, glowered at him. "Why don't you just throw them away?"
"Because you won't be pregnant forever," James said with a grin.
"And for some reason," she said with her hormonal sneer he had recently grown accustomed to, "you seem to think that I'm going to allow that filthy habit of yours to continue once our child is born."
"She's erm, got a point there, mate," said Sirius Black who was sitting a few seats away from James.
"Helpful, thanks," James snarled.
"Jamie..." said Remus, who was sitting in between James and Sirius. He was always trying to keep the peace when he could, but the hormones and the tension of the ever-growing war made that more difficult each day.
"Forget it, please," James said. He stole a glance back at Lily who had gone back to reading her book on childbirth. She was doing that thing again, that thing he hated so much, with her tongue on her lip. It was so much like him. Like... but he couldn't even think the name.
He tried not to notice how close Remus and Sirius were sitting. He had been trying not to notice how close they were since fifth year, actually, but now that they were adults, it was even more clear to him and God he hated it.
"I'm going to have a lie down," Lily said suddenly. "Not feeling so plucky all of a sudden."
Normally James would have immediately asked what he could do for her, but today he simply sat quiet until she had disappeared into the bedroom.
"You alright, James?" Remus asked after Lily had shut the door.
"Yeah," Sirius cut in. "You've been acting off since we got here."
"I'm fine," James snapped, and then realised snapping at his friends was doing no good for any of them. "I've just been sleepless lately."
"So go and get some rest," Remus said, nudging him. "We can take care of our own entertainment."
"Spare me," James said, holding up his hand. He started for the hall but when he realised Remus and Sirius would be looking anywhere but in his direction, he slipped out the backdoor, grabbing his cloak on the way out.
He had to admit he couldn't hate it in Godric's Hollow. Even their slightly batty, overly friendly neighbour, Bathilda rarely got to him. Sometimes, in Godric's Hollow, the war seemed so far away from everything. Sometimes he forgot just how dangerous it was for Lily to be pregnant right then, and how much of the action they were missing just trying to keep Lily out of harm's way.
Until she gave birth, of course. She had made that perfectly clear. Oh, she would adore motherhood but she would not allow a child of hers to grow up in a world run by the Dark Lord. And James respected her for that.
But he didn't want to talk of the war much, now. Not now that the Death Eaters had been, at least to the Order, publicly named. Every time he heard that name... his name... he wanted to cry, or curse something. Anything to let out the emotion that was welling up inside of him.
It seemed involuntary, suddenly, with the thoughts of Lily and him racing about his mind, and he threw the cloak on and Apparated. He was suddenly unsure of himself, too. Unsure of where he was going to land, but there would be no mistaking this place. No mistaking Spinner's End.
He stumbled when he landed, taking himself by surprise, but before he could right himself, he felt the hard tip of a wand pressed to the back of his head. "What do you want?" the achingly familiar voice asked.
"I..." James began but didn't know what it was he wanted at all.
"Bastard," he spat and tore the cloak from James' body.
James turned to look into the inky black eyes and found the pain still fresh. "Severus."
"Fuck you!" Severus spat angrily. "What are you doing here? Did she pop out your little brat, yet? Is that why you're here? To brag how the great James Potter finally procreated?"
"She isn't due until the first of August," James said, his mouth oddly dry.
"What do you want then, Potter?"
"I don't know," James said weakly.
"You don't know?" Snape sneered, mocking him. "You just happened to Apparate on my door step for reasons you don't know?" Snape took a step back and lowered his wand. "It's not illegal to be what I am, Potter. So if you were hoping for an arrest..."
"What you are?" James spat back, suddenly very angry. "A Death Eater? No, I suppose now a days it's not illegal to be 'what you are.'"
"Go away," Snape said, and this time he didn't sound angry, just miserable.
"I wanted to," James began.
"No," Snape interrupted sharply. "No. I don't care what you wanted to do, Potter. I don't care anymore. You chose your path."
"Isn't that what she said to you?" James asked.
Snape didn't bother with the wand; he hit James square in the jaw. "It wasn't ever about her."
"I know," James said, looking down. "I know."
"So why?" Snape asked.
"It was the only logical thing to do," James said. He looked up at Snape and felt foolish; tears were pooling in his eyes. "You really had chosen your path and I wasn't going to follow you."
"I never asked you to," Snape said, his voice flat, emotionless.
"No, but you wouldn't have followed me, either," James pointed out. "Which left us where?"
"Anywhere," Snape said, "the world at our feet."
"Until your Lord brings it crashing down," James said. It was a harsh reminder that made them both wince. "I really don't know why I came here."
"So you should probably go back," Snape replied.
"Probably," James said. "They'll notice I've gone."
Snape licked his lips and looked up at the sky. "Think it'll rain?" he asked absently.
James wanted to laugh. Oh how he wanted to laugh, but he couldn't find it in him. "Once it starts, I don't think it's going to stop." He touched the side of Snape's face gently with his fingers, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he kissed him.
"No more," Snape said.
"I'll never be over this, over us. Over you."
"You're hopeless," Severus sneered.
"So are you."
- - ---- - -
"Severus, remember your promise." The voice of Albus Dumbledore came from behind him and Snape was startled, though he didn't show it.
"How could I possibly forget with you constantly hovering over my shoulder like that?" Snape sneered.
"The feast will begin soon. I do hope you'll be joining us," Albus said a little kinder this time.
"I will, shortly," Snape said.
Albus looked towards the front doors which had not opened yet. The first years would be arriving any minute. "Do you-" he began.
"Please," Severus said.
Albus bowed his head and walked away. Severus found himself sinking into the shadows of the corridor on the stairs that looked over the entrance hall. He had a perfect view and he was shielded from their prying eyes.
It only took a moment before the doors opened and the children walked in. Was I ever so small, Snape mused to himself as they ambled in after McGonagall. He could spot him straight away, looking around with his wide green eyes, her eyes. He was whispering to another boy, another damned Weasley by the look of it.
Snape couldn't take it anymore and hurried off down a back corridor, slipping in through the teachers' entrance to the Great Hall. He took his place at the table with the rest and watched in silence as Harry Potter, son of James and Lily Potter, was sorted into Gryffindor. He couldn't take his eyes off the boy, and not because of the promise, or the prophesy, or the damned scar.
"It never stopped raining," Snape muttered.
Quirrel, who was seated beside Snape, jerked a little. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing," Snape said.
"Oh, I thought you had commented on the weather," Quirrel said.
"Just inward musings," Snape replied with an indifferent shrug. He looked across the Gryffindor table again and felt, for just a second, hope wasn't lost.