I Will Follow You Into The Dark [Fic,Colin/Blaise, Colin/Harry]
Title: I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Author: marskiel
Giftee: The Pinch Hitters
Pairings: Colin/Blaise, Colin/Harry, Harry/Ginny
Warnings: None, except a tiny bit of het
Notes: Thanks Danielle for beta-ing for me.
Wordcount: A little less than 4000
Summary: Colin is taking pictures for the Order, and he quickly finds out that anything can happen during a war.
Colin had always been fascinated by pictures; the idea that one moment in time could be captured eternally amazed him. He liked pictures of pretty things: flowers, places, people, and the like. He even kept his favorite picture, one of Harry smiling victoriously after a Quidditch match, in his trouser pocket.
However, he did not like the pictures he was required to take on a daily basis. His pictures of boring places all over the English countryside and cities were usually dull and lifeless. If Colin were lucky, a stray animal would enter the frame. If he were really lucky, he would capture a death eater, if only on film.
He hoped that someday the Order would let him help Harry on a mission.
But for now he would stay in his dark little room, with his smelly developing potions and lonely thoughts.
---
The week had gone by slowly. Colin had worked through his entire puzzle-a-day calendar, even with some successes. It was only February.
He had also developed thousands of rolls of film, from hundreds of cameras, for one purpose.
Harry.
Unfortunately, every roll of film had turned out blank; only empty alleys and plain fields showed up on film.
It was strange that from all of the cameras he had networked across the United Kingdom, none had turned out to be aimed at something important. It was getting to the point where Colin was getting very tired of all of the developing. It was a waste of his time and potions.
But he knew he only needed one good picture for all of it to be worth it.
He continued to carefully develop his film, being sure to check each frame for something new, even if it was only a shadow or a stray cat.
---
Colin hated asking for money. When he was younger, his dad had always told him that owing someone was a bad situation to be caught in, and even though his dad was only a milk man, he had never owed one pound to anyone.
But he had run out of developer again. He watched the liquid glow eerily to indicate that it had expired with a drawn expression on his face. He would have to ask someone else for the money to pick up the cost for this one; all of the meager savings he had put aside for his expenses in the Order had been eaten up by his last trip to buy more ingredients.
As he stepped out of his room, he stood still for a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to a light that wasn’t red or absent. He tread carefully down the stairs, trying not to wake the portrait of some lady (he had never been informed of its story, except to be warned against making sudden loud noises), and headed towards the kitchen.
It was bustling with activity. Three of the Weasleys were squabbling over who was assigned dish-duty. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were sitting at the corner of the large table and looking suspicious. Professor Lupin was telling a joke to a very disgruntled Mad-Eye Moody.
Colin couldn’t help the goofy smile that came to his face.
He sat down at the table, waiting for breakfast to be served.
“Hey, Colin! Come sit by us.” Harry smiled widely at Colin as he said it, and Colin felt the tingles of admiration and nervousness that always seemed to accompany being near Harry burst into action.
“Hi, Harry!” Colin’s smile grew even wider. “How are you today?” Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione, who were sharing a look.
“Oh, I’m great. How are you? Usually you don’t come down for breakfast.”
“I’m fine,” Colin said with yet another grin, “but I have to go get some more ingredients for the developing potion.” At the reminder of his financial situation, his mood faded a bit.
“Again? And you have to pay out of your own money?”
“Yeah, it’s very annoying and-“
“I can pay for it today.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t like owing anyone money, especially people as great as you are...I mean, I’d hate to inconvenience you.” Harry just smiled good-naturedly, and Colin could feel himself swooning. He didn’t think that anyone cared whether he could afford his ingredients or not, especially Harry.
Harry was really a great and noble guy, one worth fighting for.
---
The Apothecary was a bizarre place. It was full of strange smells and vapors, and Colin could feel his nose itching from the heavy aroma that pervaded the entire shop. He walked past a grim rainbow of dried flowers to the back, where the developing potions were usually stocked.
There were two choices. He picked up the one that was less expensive, and headed towards the counter, hoping that the apprentice wasn’t the snooty and pushy one who tended to be rude to Colin because he bought pre-made solutions.
Luckily for him, it wasn’t; it was someone new. He was dark-skinned and had hooded eyes that intrigued Colin. His hands were larger than average and his posture spoke of a high-end background. As he walked up to the counter, Colin vaguely wondered why the young man was apprenticing at an Apothecary, when he so obviously was brought up among the pureblooded sector of the wizarding world.
“Hello, and I hope you found everything you needed. At Slug and Jiggers we value our quality of ingredient and brew.” The line was obviously rehearsed.
“Hello, just getting one thing today.” Colin smiled at the other boy and slid his purchase onto the counter.
“You do know that we have a higher quality developer?” The apprentice looked up at Colin inquiringly.
“Yes, but I’m afraid I don’t have enough funds to purchase it, with all of the markups and whatnot that have been going on lately.” Colin blushed and reached with shaky hands for his pouch of money. The apprentice looked at him again as if he was deciding something, and reached for his own pouch of money.
“The one you have in your hand had some ingredients left out and may not work properly.” He flipped a few coins onto the counter. “Go get the other one.”
Colin felt shocked, and it probably showed in his expression.
“Thanks, er…”
“Zabini. Blaise Zabini.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Colin Creevey.”
---
As usual, Colin was in his darkroom. He was developing yet another roll of film. This one was from the camera concealed near Hogsmeade. From the looks of things, it would contain nothing but empty fields, yet again.
However, just as the images were starting to show up on the film, the door to his darkroom opened with a flash of bright light, causing Colin to squeak in surprise. Whatever had been in those pictures had been lost forever.
Fully intending to give whomever had decided to ruin his film a piece of his mind, Colin looked up. It was Harry. Harry, who probably didn’t really know that film was destroyed when it was exposed to light. Harry, who might have missed the sign on the door. Harry, with his bright green eyes and perfect lips and expressive face. Harry, who held the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders.
Colin decided to let it slide this time.
“Harry! What are you doing in here?”
“I wanted to see you.” Harry took a few steps closer to Colin. “But unfortunately in this room, I can’t see shite.” Colin chuckled and felt a blush come to his face. By now, Colin was quite used to the lack of light he lived in.
Harry took another step closer, and Colin held his breath. Harry was so close, Colin only had to move a couple inches to be touching him. Why was Harry acting so strange?
“Harry, I’m right here. You don’t have to get so close. I mean, if you want to, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t mind.” Colin’s cheeks flushed again. He really did turn into a rambling fool whenever Harry was around.
“Oh, I want to. I want to do a lot of things, actually, but I was thinking we could start with a kiss?” Colin squeaked again. This was really unexpected.
But nice.
“Oh, um…of course. Kiss away.” Colin’s nervous laugh was cut off by two firm, yet soft lips crashing onto his. For a second, they just rested there, but then they leapt to life, moving hot and wet over Colin’s own lips. Colin could feel himself drowning in the kiss, especially when Harry nibbled right there on his lower lip. Colin could feel Harry’s tongue sliding in his mouth; he could feel the roughhot friction where Harry’s hips were grinding against his. He could feel everything hard and soft and wet and dry. Oh merciful Merlin, it was amazing.
As Harry pushed Colin towards the small cot in the room, there was no resistance.
---
Colin ran out of developer again. He was working himself up over it, nervous about asking Harry for more money, when one day, a few coins in an envelope had seemed to appear out of nowhere on the dresser in his room.
Colin thought of Harry and smiled.
However, when he went to the Apothecary, he noticed that the price had been raised yet again. He picked up the deficient and cheaper developing solution and went to the counter with a frown on his face.
“Welcome again to Slug and Jiggers.” Blaise had a small frown on his face when he looked up at Colin. “I see you didn’t heed my warning.”
“Erm…the price went up again. And…and I would hate to have to spend so much-“
Colin stopped as Blaise flipped a few coins on the counter for him, with an unreadable expression on his face. Colin blushed, and quietly went and switched the potions. After paying, Colin bundled his purchase close to his chest and turned around with a shy expression
“Thanks, Blaise.”
“It’s no problem. But I do have a favor to ask of you.”
“Yes?”
“Would you like to catch lunch with me some time?” Blaise smirked in a friendly way. Colin was stunned. Even though he didn’t really compare to Harry in looks or presence, there was something unique about Blaise, something that piqued Colin’s interest. Plus, Colin needed some time away from Grimmauld Place. It seemed like he was the only one in the Order who never really took time for himself.
“Oh! That would be nice, I guess.”
---
Colin ran into Harry when he got back, and they ended up slinking away into the small closet under the stairs. Everyone else in the house wondered why the portrait of Mrs. Black had an outburst without any apparent provocation.
---
Colin packed away all of his undeveloped film into their light-safe box and left his room. He ran into Harry, who wanted to spend time with him, but unfortunately, Colin had to decline. Colin gave Harry a quick kiss in apology, and then continued on his way to the parlor.
He was leaving for his lunch-date with Blaise.
---
Diagon Alley had been busy, but Blaise and Colin had still managed to have a splendid time. The chat had been awkward at first, but once Colin overcame his nervousness, it had flowed easily. They had talked about everything and nothing. Colin loved listening to Blaise’s voice.
Colin had wanted to pick up the tab for their lunch, but before he could even reach for it, Blaise had put the cost for the entire meal on the table. Colin was secretly thankful because he knew that if he had picked up the bill there wouldn’t be any money left at all for his next developing potion.
After lunch, they had mutually decided to go on a walk. Colin smiled at Blaise as they neared their final destination, and both slowed down amidst the crowds of rushing people. They were in no hurry to separate.
Eventually, they reached the dingy inn. Colin shook hands with Blaise, but he ended up holding Blaise’s hand in his longer than a usual handshake took. Neither seemed to mind.
Just as Colin was about to grab a pinch of Floo powder, Blaise pulled him into a hug. Blaise’s body felt strong around him, and Colin felt like he could grow used to the feeling. Colin smiled up at him, wondering at the way that Blaise smelled and felt, and as they parted, Colin bestowed a small kiss on Blaise’s dark cheek. Blaise smirked half-heartedly and made eye-contact with Colin. Behind the happiness, there was something missing, something broken. But in a flash, it was gone.
“We should do this again some time,” Blaise said. Colin agreed and gave Blaise another quick hug.
When he stepped out of the grate at Grimmauld Place, there was a giant smile on Colin’s face.
He hadn’t thought about Harry the whole day.
---
Colin couldn’t sleep. He was on his back in his cot, a feeling of unease coiling in his stomach.
With a sigh, he heaved his small body out of bed and headed over towards his developing station. He glanced through the film he had developed that day, making sure he hadn’t missed any movement or strange sights.
He hadn’t.
Colin still felt restless, though. The clock on his wall read a quarter past midnight. He decided to get a cup of tea to soothe his nerves. As he made his way down the stairs, he heard a small sound.
The unease he had been feeling increased tenfold. What if it was Deatheaters?
He quickly headed towards the room where he had heard the noise. It was the parlor. There was light showing through the crack underneath the door. Colin reached towards the door, feeling his heart racing. As he turned the handle, another small crash came from inside the room.
Colin nearly yelled out loud in fright.
Steeling his nerves, Colin turned the handle silently, praying to Merlin, God, or whoever else may have been watching over him at that moment that it wasn’t Deatheaters.
As he swung open the door, Colin gasped. The sight that greeted him was much worse than a few Deatheaters, in his opinion.
Harry was locked in an embrace with Ginny. Their lips were moving together feverishly, making soft smacking noises. His glasses were on the floor near the door, thrown off in a fit of passion, probably. Harry had thrown off his glasses carelessly once when he had been with Colin.
“Oh!” A lance of pain had shot through Colin’s chest as he thought about what he and Harry had been doing. Colin felt his breathing speed up, and as he turned around to run back up to his room Harry’s eyes opened and caught his. They were filled with regret, but Colin didn’t care. He felt betrayed and belittled. He felt confused at why Harry, who was so honorable and wonderful, would do something like that to Colin.
Harry had been so great in the last couple months. Colin had learned the most intimate secrets of the Boy Who Lived, from the silly misadventures at Hogwarts to the dark meetings with Voldemort and his minions.
Colin felt like he should have been warned that Harry would break his heart. There hadn’t even been any signs that Harry didn’t want him!
As soon as he had slammed the door to his room shut, tears started streaming down his face. He slung his body onto the bed, and couldn’t help the sobs that came. He tried to muffle them with his pillow with little success.
---
The next morning there was a knock on his door.
“Colin?” It was Harry.
Colin ignored the voice and the quiet shuffling, and went back to developing film halfheartedly.
---
Blaise and Colin went out again, and Colin had told Blaise the entire story behind Harry. Blaise had been very sympathetic and understanding, in his own way. He hadn’t offered flattery or comforting phrases, but the hug he had enveloped around Colin expressed things that words could not have. It sent Colin’s heart aflutter.
That day, when Colin and Blaise parted at the fireplace in The Leaky Cauldron, Colin gave Blaise shared a small kiss on the lips.
---
The Friday before Easter, Colin’s developing solution started to show signs of expiration. Upon seeing it, Colin cursed under his breath, and decided that he didn’t want to go to Diagon Alley on what he was sure would be a very busy weekend.
He would go to Diagon Alley today. Maybe he would even get to see Blaise.
Colin headed down the stairs and towards the parlor, where the fireplace was, but before he opened the door he stopped.
Someone inside was talking. Colin was reminded of the night he had found Harry and Ginny, and a bitter feeling swelled inside of him.
“Do you still care for him, Harry?” It was Hermione speaking. Colin felt compelled to listen in on their conversation, or at least to Harry’s side. Colin had been avoiding Harry since the incident with Ginny.
“I guess I do, but he’ll never forgive me. It was wrong of me in so many ways to do that.” Colin heard Harry sigh.
“Maybe if you apologized he would-“
“Trust me, I’ve tried. He just ignores me, and…and then I feel horrible all over again.”
Colin decided he’d been listening long enough, and opened the door. Harry looked over at him with wide eyes, and Hermione barely concealed her surprise at seeing him. Harry’s eyes were full of pain.
Before he could even think, he felt himself talking.
“I forgive you, you know.” Merlin, Colin was weak wherever Harry was concerned. “But I never want to kiss you, or anything else, again.” The smile that had come to Harry’s face at Colin’s forgiveness crumpled into a devastated expression. Why was Harry still beautiful even though he was sad?
“I promise.” For the first time in his life, Colin didn’t want to comfort the pain apparent in Harry’s words. Although it was noble of Harry to go with Colin’s request, Colin would always feel a little bit of hurt whenever he thought of what Harry had done to him.
Colin went to the fireplace and Flooed away.
---
Colin went straight to the front counter when he reached Slug and Jiggers. He waited for the current customer to finish paying, and then went to greet Blaise with a hug. Blaise winced upon the initial contact, as if he was in pain, but still returned the hug with full force. After the greeting, Blaise reached under the counter.
“I have something for you.” He pulled out a vial with a strange potion in it. “It’s your developing potion. I’ve added a few ingredients, so that everything in the pictures you take will be revealed, even if they are hidden.” Blaise smiled, and Colin didn’t notice the sad resignation behind his eyes.
They decided to go out for lunch, and after hours of conversation and heated looks, Blaise invited Colin back to his flat for the first time.
Colin agreed with a giant smile on his face.
---
Colin had just changed out his developing solution for the improved version Blaise had brewed for him. He took out the rolls of film from his light-safe box, and began the process.
He noticed something strange on the roll of film from the camera near Hogsmeade: there were people! Closer inspection revealed these people were Death Eaters.
Colin could scarcely breathe. He had done it! He had caught Death Eaters on film, even if their faces one the film were too small to make out.
He cast the spell on the film that transferred each cell of film onto a sheet of photo-paper and waited for the images to appear on the sheets with bated breath.
But once he saw what the pictures contained, a small whimper escaped his throat. He ran down the stairs and into the parlor room.
He and Blaise needed to have a talk, right now.
---
Colin stumbled out of the Floo at Blaise’s flat. The small sitting room was empty, save for a note on the coffee table.
Colin,
The Death Eaters knew about your camera after the first night it was installed. They installed me in Slug and Jiggers to see if anyone came for ingredients in a Developing solution. They also installed Malfoy (carefully disguised) at an Apothecary in Hogsmeade. You are fortunate that you came to Diagon Alley instead of Hogsmeade.
When you first came into Slug and Jiggers, I intended to spy on you for the Dark Lord, as I was ordered to. But after you and I went on our first outing, I couldn’t bring myself to betray you in such a manner.
However, I could not renounce Voldemort; he would kill me. Instead, I offer you information. There is a startling regularity to our meetings. We meet every second Thursday at the place you’ve captured on film. No one in the town wonders about it because we have very strong wards surrounding our meeting spot.
Do not tell anyone that I gave you this information, even in the event of my death. I do not want to be known as a traitor.
Also, please don’t endanger yourself by coming around me. I care about you too much for you to be hurt.
I love you,
Blaise
The note burst into flames as he finished reading it, and Colin felt a level of desperation in his chest more powerful than he had ever felt before. As tears streamed down his face, he thought on the impossibility of his situation. He couldn’t hide this from the Order, but he did not want to betray Blaise.
---
Colin waited for two more instances of meetings at Hogsmeade before he took his pictures to the Order.
His stack of pictures had been carefully sifted through, so that none of them contained Blaise.
All of the members at the meeting gave him compliments; Harry even gave him a quick hug. But all Colin felt was sad. He wanted to warn Blaise. He wanted Blaise to hold him, comfort him.
---
Blaise had always been damaged in Colin’s eyes. There was just something about that dark body and those dark eyes that lacked the luster that seemed to surround Harry. But now Colin knew. Colin knew that Blaise was perfect in his own way. Every piece of his soul came together to form something greater, something divine. Even if a little bit was missing, Colin knew that he could fill it and make it whole, make it better.
Oh, Colin had learned so much filling those little gaps and breaks.
He learned that even though the whole Wizarding world played Harry up as golden, perfect, that once the bright and beautiful exterior was removed, Harry was just another person, another beat up and broken person. The grimy, gritty, real Harry was beautiful, like an exotic bird with a broken neck: sad, devastating even, but still gorgeous and breathtaking. But the real Harry was nothing compared to the real Blaise.
Or even the real Colin.
Colin stared back at the field that he knew Blaise and the Death Eaters would be in at any moment for their meeting. He felt the menacing Order behind him, standing at the ready, Avada Kedavras already on the tips of everybody’s tongues, and he knew what he had to do.
He would help Blaise, just like Blaise had helped him.
Author: marskiel
Giftee: The Pinch Hitters
Pairings: Colin/Blaise, Colin/Harry, Harry/Ginny
Warnings: None, except a tiny bit of het
Notes: Thanks Danielle for beta-ing for me.
Wordcount: A little less than 4000
Summary: Colin is taking pictures for the Order, and he quickly finds out that anything can happen during a war.
Colin had always been fascinated by pictures; the idea that one moment in time could be captured eternally amazed him. He liked pictures of pretty things: flowers, places, people, and the like. He even kept his favorite picture, one of Harry smiling victoriously after a Quidditch match, in his trouser pocket.
However, he did not like the pictures he was required to take on a daily basis. His pictures of boring places all over the English countryside and cities were usually dull and lifeless. If Colin were lucky, a stray animal would enter the frame. If he were really lucky, he would capture a death eater, if only on film.
He hoped that someday the Order would let him help Harry on a mission.
But for now he would stay in his dark little room, with his smelly developing potions and lonely thoughts.
---
The week had gone by slowly. Colin had worked through his entire puzzle-a-day calendar, even with some successes. It was only February.
He had also developed thousands of rolls of film, from hundreds of cameras, for one purpose.
Harry.
Unfortunately, every roll of film had turned out blank; only empty alleys and plain fields showed up on film.
It was strange that from all of the cameras he had networked across the United Kingdom, none had turned out to be aimed at something important. It was getting to the point where Colin was getting very tired of all of the developing. It was a waste of his time and potions.
But he knew he only needed one good picture for all of it to be worth it.
He continued to carefully develop his film, being sure to check each frame for something new, even if it was only a shadow or a stray cat.
---
Colin hated asking for money. When he was younger, his dad had always told him that owing someone was a bad situation to be caught in, and even though his dad was only a milk man, he had never owed one pound to anyone.
But he had run out of developer again. He watched the liquid glow eerily to indicate that it had expired with a drawn expression on his face. He would have to ask someone else for the money to pick up the cost for this one; all of the meager savings he had put aside for his expenses in the Order had been eaten up by his last trip to buy more ingredients.
As he stepped out of his room, he stood still for a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to a light that wasn’t red or absent. He tread carefully down the stairs, trying not to wake the portrait of some lady (he had never been informed of its story, except to be warned against making sudden loud noises), and headed towards the kitchen.
It was bustling with activity. Three of the Weasleys were squabbling over who was assigned dish-duty. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were sitting at the corner of the large table and looking suspicious. Professor Lupin was telling a joke to a very disgruntled Mad-Eye Moody.
Colin couldn’t help the goofy smile that came to his face.
He sat down at the table, waiting for breakfast to be served.
“Hey, Colin! Come sit by us.” Harry smiled widely at Colin as he said it, and Colin felt the tingles of admiration and nervousness that always seemed to accompany being near Harry burst into action.
“Hi, Harry!” Colin’s smile grew even wider. “How are you today?” Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione, who were sharing a look.
“Oh, I’m great. How are you? Usually you don’t come down for breakfast.”
“I’m fine,” Colin said with yet another grin, “but I have to go get some more ingredients for the developing potion.” At the reminder of his financial situation, his mood faded a bit.
“Again? And you have to pay out of your own money?”
“Yeah, it’s very annoying and-“
“I can pay for it today.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t like owing anyone money, especially people as great as you are...I mean, I’d hate to inconvenience you.” Harry just smiled good-naturedly, and Colin could feel himself swooning. He didn’t think that anyone cared whether he could afford his ingredients or not, especially Harry.
Harry was really a great and noble guy, one worth fighting for.
---
The Apothecary was a bizarre place. It was full of strange smells and vapors, and Colin could feel his nose itching from the heavy aroma that pervaded the entire shop. He walked past a grim rainbow of dried flowers to the back, where the developing potions were usually stocked.
There were two choices. He picked up the one that was less expensive, and headed towards the counter, hoping that the apprentice wasn’t the snooty and pushy one who tended to be rude to Colin because he bought pre-made solutions.
Luckily for him, it wasn’t; it was someone new. He was dark-skinned and had hooded eyes that intrigued Colin. His hands were larger than average and his posture spoke of a high-end background. As he walked up to the counter, Colin vaguely wondered why the young man was apprenticing at an Apothecary, when he so obviously was brought up among the pureblooded sector of the wizarding world.
“Hello, and I hope you found everything you needed. At Slug and Jiggers we value our quality of ingredient and brew.” The line was obviously rehearsed.
“Hello, just getting one thing today.” Colin smiled at the other boy and slid his purchase onto the counter.
“You do know that we have a higher quality developer?” The apprentice looked up at Colin inquiringly.
“Yes, but I’m afraid I don’t have enough funds to purchase it, with all of the markups and whatnot that have been going on lately.” Colin blushed and reached with shaky hands for his pouch of money. The apprentice looked at him again as if he was deciding something, and reached for his own pouch of money.
“The one you have in your hand had some ingredients left out and may not work properly.” He flipped a few coins onto the counter. “Go get the other one.”
Colin felt shocked, and it probably showed in his expression.
“Thanks, er…”
“Zabini. Blaise Zabini.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Colin Creevey.”
---
As usual, Colin was in his darkroom. He was developing yet another roll of film. This one was from the camera concealed near Hogsmeade. From the looks of things, it would contain nothing but empty fields, yet again.
However, just as the images were starting to show up on the film, the door to his darkroom opened with a flash of bright light, causing Colin to squeak in surprise. Whatever had been in those pictures had been lost forever.
Fully intending to give whomever had decided to ruin his film a piece of his mind, Colin looked up. It was Harry. Harry, who probably didn’t really know that film was destroyed when it was exposed to light. Harry, who might have missed the sign on the door. Harry, with his bright green eyes and perfect lips and expressive face. Harry, who held the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders.
Colin decided to let it slide this time.
“Harry! What are you doing in here?”
“I wanted to see you.” Harry took a few steps closer to Colin. “But unfortunately in this room, I can’t see shite.” Colin chuckled and felt a blush come to his face. By now, Colin was quite used to the lack of light he lived in.
Harry took another step closer, and Colin held his breath. Harry was so close, Colin only had to move a couple inches to be touching him. Why was Harry acting so strange?
“Harry, I’m right here. You don’t have to get so close. I mean, if you want to, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t mind.” Colin’s cheeks flushed again. He really did turn into a rambling fool whenever Harry was around.
“Oh, I want to. I want to do a lot of things, actually, but I was thinking we could start with a kiss?” Colin squeaked again. This was really unexpected.
But nice.
“Oh, um…of course. Kiss away.” Colin’s nervous laugh was cut off by two firm, yet soft lips crashing onto his. For a second, they just rested there, but then they leapt to life, moving hot and wet over Colin’s own lips. Colin could feel himself drowning in the kiss, especially when Harry nibbled right there on his lower lip. Colin could feel Harry’s tongue sliding in his mouth; he could feel the roughhot friction where Harry’s hips were grinding against his. He could feel everything hard and soft and wet and dry. Oh merciful Merlin, it was amazing.
As Harry pushed Colin towards the small cot in the room, there was no resistance.
---
Colin ran out of developer again. He was working himself up over it, nervous about asking Harry for more money, when one day, a few coins in an envelope had seemed to appear out of nowhere on the dresser in his room.
Colin thought of Harry and smiled.
However, when he went to the Apothecary, he noticed that the price had been raised yet again. He picked up the deficient and cheaper developing solution and went to the counter with a frown on his face.
“Welcome again to Slug and Jiggers.” Blaise had a small frown on his face when he looked up at Colin. “I see you didn’t heed my warning.”
“Erm…the price went up again. And…and I would hate to have to spend so much-“
Colin stopped as Blaise flipped a few coins on the counter for him, with an unreadable expression on his face. Colin blushed, and quietly went and switched the potions. After paying, Colin bundled his purchase close to his chest and turned around with a shy expression
“Thanks, Blaise.”
“It’s no problem. But I do have a favor to ask of you.”
“Yes?”
“Would you like to catch lunch with me some time?” Blaise smirked in a friendly way. Colin was stunned. Even though he didn’t really compare to Harry in looks or presence, there was something unique about Blaise, something that piqued Colin’s interest. Plus, Colin needed some time away from Grimmauld Place. It seemed like he was the only one in the Order who never really took time for himself.
“Oh! That would be nice, I guess.”
---
Colin ran into Harry when he got back, and they ended up slinking away into the small closet under the stairs. Everyone else in the house wondered why the portrait of Mrs. Black had an outburst without any apparent provocation.
---
Colin packed away all of his undeveloped film into their light-safe box and left his room. He ran into Harry, who wanted to spend time with him, but unfortunately, Colin had to decline. Colin gave Harry a quick kiss in apology, and then continued on his way to the parlor.
He was leaving for his lunch-date with Blaise.
---
Diagon Alley had been busy, but Blaise and Colin had still managed to have a splendid time. The chat had been awkward at first, but once Colin overcame his nervousness, it had flowed easily. They had talked about everything and nothing. Colin loved listening to Blaise’s voice.
Colin had wanted to pick up the tab for their lunch, but before he could even reach for it, Blaise had put the cost for the entire meal on the table. Colin was secretly thankful because he knew that if he had picked up the bill there wouldn’t be any money left at all for his next developing potion.
After lunch, they had mutually decided to go on a walk. Colin smiled at Blaise as they neared their final destination, and both slowed down amidst the crowds of rushing people. They were in no hurry to separate.
Eventually, they reached the dingy inn. Colin shook hands with Blaise, but he ended up holding Blaise’s hand in his longer than a usual handshake took. Neither seemed to mind.
Just as Colin was about to grab a pinch of Floo powder, Blaise pulled him into a hug. Blaise’s body felt strong around him, and Colin felt like he could grow used to the feeling. Colin smiled up at him, wondering at the way that Blaise smelled and felt, and as they parted, Colin bestowed a small kiss on Blaise’s dark cheek. Blaise smirked half-heartedly and made eye-contact with Colin. Behind the happiness, there was something missing, something broken. But in a flash, it was gone.
“We should do this again some time,” Blaise said. Colin agreed and gave Blaise another quick hug.
When he stepped out of the grate at Grimmauld Place, there was a giant smile on Colin’s face.
He hadn’t thought about Harry the whole day.
---
Colin couldn’t sleep. He was on his back in his cot, a feeling of unease coiling in his stomach.
With a sigh, he heaved his small body out of bed and headed over towards his developing station. He glanced through the film he had developed that day, making sure he hadn’t missed any movement or strange sights.
He hadn’t.
Colin still felt restless, though. The clock on his wall read a quarter past midnight. He decided to get a cup of tea to soothe his nerves. As he made his way down the stairs, he heard a small sound.
The unease he had been feeling increased tenfold. What if it was Deatheaters?
He quickly headed towards the room where he had heard the noise. It was the parlor. There was light showing through the crack underneath the door. Colin reached towards the door, feeling his heart racing. As he turned the handle, another small crash came from inside the room.
Colin nearly yelled out loud in fright.
Steeling his nerves, Colin turned the handle silently, praying to Merlin, God, or whoever else may have been watching over him at that moment that it wasn’t Deatheaters.
As he swung open the door, Colin gasped. The sight that greeted him was much worse than a few Deatheaters, in his opinion.
Harry was locked in an embrace with Ginny. Their lips were moving together feverishly, making soft smacking noises. His glasses were on the floor near the door, thrown off in a fit of passion, probably. Harry had thrown off his glasses carelessly once when he had been with Colin.
“Oh!” A lance of pain had shot through Colin’s chest as he thought about what he and Harry had been doing. Colin felt his breathing speed up, and as he turned around to run back up to his room Harry’s eyes opened and caught his. They were filled with regret, but Colin didn’t care. He felt betrayed and belittled. He felt confused at why Harry, who was so honorable and wonderful, would do something like that to Colin.
Harry had been so great in the last couple months. Colin had learned the most intimate secrets of the Boy Who Lived, from the silly misadventures at Hogwarts to the dark meetings with Voldemort and his minions.
Colin felt like he should have been warned that Harry would break his heart. There hadn’t even been any signs that Harry didn’t want him!
As soon as he had slammed the door to his room shut, tears started streaming down his face. He slung his body onto the bed, and couldn’t help the sobs that came. He tried to muffle them with his pillow with little success.
---
The next morning there was a knock on his door.
“Colin?” It was Harry.
Colin ignored the voice and the quiet shuffling, and went back to developing film halfheartedly.
---
Blaise and Colin went out again, and Colin had told Blaise the entire story behind Harry. Blaise had been very sympathetic and understanding, in his own way. He hadn’t offered flattery or comforting phrases, but the hug he had enveloped around Colin expressed things that words could not have. It sent Colin’s heart aflutter.
That day, when Colin and Blaise parted at the fireplace in The Leaky Cauldron, Colin gave Blaise shared a small kiss on the lips.
---
The Friday before Easter, Colin’s developing solution started to show signs of expiration. Upon seeing it, Colin cursed under his breath, and decided that he didn’t want to go to Diagon Alley on what he was sure would be a very busy weekend.
He would go to Diagon Alley today. Maybe he would even get to see Blaise.
Colin headed down the stairs and towards the parlor, where the fireplace was, but before he opened the door he stopped.
Someone inside was talking. Colin was reminded of the night he had found Harry and Ginny, and a bitter feeling swelled inside of him.
“Do you still care for him, Harry?” It was Hermione speaking. Colin felt compelled to listen in on their conversation, or at least to Harry’s side. Colin had been avoiding Harry since the incident with Ginny.
“I guess I do, but he’ll never forgive me. It was wrong of me in so many ways to do that.” Colin heard Harry sigh.
“Maybe if you apologized he would-“
“Trust me, I’ve tried. He just ignores me, and…and then I feel horrible all over again.”
Colin decided he’d been listening long enough, and opened the door. Harry looked over at him with wide eyes, and Hermione barely concealed her surprise at seeing him. Harry’s eyes were full of pain.
Before he could even think, he felt himself talking.
“I forgive you, you know.” Merlin, Colin was weak wherever Harry was concerned. “But I never want to kiss you, or anything else, again.” The smile that had come to Harry’s face at Colin’s forgiveness crumpled into a devastated expression. Why was Harry still beautiful even though he was sad?
“I promise.” For the first time in his life, Colin didn’t want to comfort the pain apparent in Harry’s words. Although it was noble of Harry to go with Colin’s request, Colin would always feel a little bit of hurt whenever he thought of what Harry had done to him.
Colin went to the fireplace and Flooed away.
---
Colin went straight to the front counter when he reached Slug and Jiggers. He waited for the current customer to finish paying, and then went to greet Blaise with a hug. Blaise winced upon the initial contact, as if he was in pain, but still returned the hug with full force. After the greeting, Blaise reached under the counter.
“I have something for you.” He pulled out a vial with a strange potion in it. “It’s your developing potion. I’ve added a few ingredients, so that everything in the pictures you take will be revealed, even if they are hidden.” Blaise smiled, and Colin didn’t notice the sad resignation behind his eyes.
They decided to go out for lunch, and after hours of conversation and heated looks, Blaise invited Colin back to his flat for the first time.
Colin agreed with a giant smile on his face.
---
Colin had just changed out his developing solution for the improved version Blaise had brewed for him. He took out the rolls of film from his light-safe box, and began the process.
He noticed something strange on the roll of film from the camera near Hogsmeade: there were people! Closer inspection revealed these people were Death Eaters.
Colin could scarcely breathe. He had done it! He had caught Death Eaters on film, even if their faces one the film were too small to make out.
He cast the spell on the film that transferred each cell of film onto a sheet of photo-paper and waited for the images to appear on the sheets with bated breath.
But once he saw what the pictures contained, a small whimper escaped his throat. He ran down the stairs and into the parlor room.
He and Blaise needed to have a talk, right now.
---
Colin stumbled out of the Floo at Blaise’s flat. The small sitting room was empty, save for a note on the coffee table.
Colin,
The Death Eaters knew about your camera after the first night it was installed. They installed me in Slug and Jiggers to see if anyone came for ingredients in a Developing solution. They also installed Malfoy (carefully disguised) at an Apothecary in Hogsmeade. You are fortunate that you came to Diagon Alley instead of Hogsmeade.
When you first came into Slug and Jiggers, I intended to spy on you for the Dark Lord, as I was ordered to. But after you and I went on our first outing, I couldn’t bring myself to betray you in such a manner.
However, I could not renounce Voldemort; he would kill me. Instead, I offer you information. There is a startling regularity to our meetings. We meet every second Thursday at the place you’ve captured on film. No one in the town wonders about it because we have very strong wards surrounding our meeting spot.
Do not tell anyone that I gave you this information, even in the event of my death. I do not want to be known as a traitor.
Also, please don’t endanger yourself by coming around me. I care about you too much for you to be hurt.
I love you,
Blaise
The note burst into flames as he finished reading it, and Colin felt a level of desperation in his chest more powerful than he had ever felt before. As tears streamed down his face, he thought on the impossibility of his situation. He couldn’t hide this from the Order, but he did not want to betray Blaise.
---
Colin waited for two more instances of meetings at Hogsmeade before he took his pictures to the Order.
His stack of pictures had been carefully sifted through, so that none of them contained Blaise.
All of the members at the meeting gave him compliments; Harry even gave him a quick hug. But all Colin felt was sad. He wanted to warn Blaise. He wanted Blaise to hold him, comfort him.
---
Blaise had always been damaged in Colin’s eyes. There was just something about that dark body and those dark eyes that lacked the luster that seemed to surround Harry. But now Colin knew. Colin knew that Blaise was perfect in his own way. Every piece of his soul came together to form something greater, something divine. Even if a little bit was missing, Colin knew that he could fill it and make it whole, make it better.
Oh, Colin had learned so much filling those little gaps and breaks.
He learned that even though the whole Wizarding world played Harry up as golden, perfect, that once the bright and beautiful exterior was removed, Harry was just another person, another beat up and broken person. The grimy, gritty, real Harry was beautiful, like an exotic bird with a broken neck: sad, devastating even, but still gorgeous and breathtaking. But the real Harry was nothing compared to the real Blaise.
Or even the real Colin.
Colin stared back at the field that he knew Blaise and the Death Eaters would be in at any moment for their meeting. He felt the menacing Order behind him, standing at the ready, Avada Kedavras already on the tips of everybody’s tongues, and he knew what he had to do.
He would help Blaise, just like Blaise had helped him.