For a_real_phony: Time Passes [Fic, Dean/Seamus, PG-13]
Title: Time Passes
Author: wook77
Recipient: a_real_phony
Pairing: Dean Thomas/Seamus Finnigan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: present tense
Summary: Seamus starts marking time from the moment Dean's heart was broken.
A/N: Thanks to my betas T & L. All remaining mistakes are my own. Part of this is inspired by this piece of artwork by a_real_phony. I hope you enjoy this!
It's been a week since Ginny and Harry kissed. Dean isn't happy and Seamus understands it. What he doesn't and, more importantly, can't understand is why he is happy about Dean being alone and miserable. He doesn't think it's the miserable part and he's fairly certain that Dean isn't alone. After all, they're still mates, aren't they? They're DeanandSeamus, SeamusandDean, all run together. Back together.
When Dean flops down onto the couch next to him, Seamus turns and grins before punching him on the arm. Dean sneers before punching him back. It's war, now, because that was hard enough to send a twinge through his shoulder so Seamus hits him again. The contest devolves into a wrestling match, Dean finally pinning Seamus to the floor.
As Seamus lies there panting, he thinks things are back on track. Especially after Harry and Ginny choose that moment to walk hand-in-hand into the common room and Dean only looks quickly before punching Seamus on the shoulder again. The twinge is worth the smile on Dean's face though he's not entirely certain that it was necessary for Dean to push against his stomach before standing and offering a hand.
There's a gentle squeeze to his hand after Seamus is standing and he squeezes back. His face heats up as they stand there with their hands wrapped around one another for too long. Once he realises, he's quick to pull away and the flush spreads. A quick look around the room tells him that no one else noticed but that still leaves Dean. Dean and his confused expression and the blush across both their faces.
~~**~~
It's been two weeks since Harry kissed Ginny and Seamus is behind the stacks with Lavender Brown. They're supposed to be working on some rubbish Divination assignment. Only, they're not. Unless kissing is a form of determining the future. Seamus likes to think it is what with the warm wet feeling and the thrill that he gets when they pause for air and he sees Dean.
He pauses as his brain skitters to a stop. He…and the… but… his brain isn't working, it's completely shut down while he stares at Dean and Dean stares back at him and Lavender touches his shoulder and Seamus shrugs her off and Dean turns and runs from the library and Madam Pince yells something after him but Seamus doesn't hear because he's running after Dean too. It's all too much for his brain to absorb. It's too fixated on DeanDeanDean and not on the opening door that he runs into full tilt. Rebounding quickly and holding a hand to his bleeding nose, Seamus continues running but he's sure that he's lost Dean as there's no too-tall wanker in the crowd.
He's breathing heavy as he scans the hallway and the staircases that are realigning themselves.
"Oi! Thomas!" he yells as he's pinching the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to slow the flow of blood. He gets a few funny looks but none of them are from Dean.
"Honestly, Seamus," comes a voice from the back of his right shoulder. There's a tingle and the blood stops as Hermione appears. "He went to the common room. Try not to run into any more doors."
"Yeah, thanks, Hermione," he says offhandedly as he clambers up the nearest staircase, avoiding the sixth step as it's not really there.
When he reaches the common room, Dean's still nowhere to be found. Harry and Ginny are kissing on the couch and Ron's actually studying. The world's gone mad, he decides as he heads up to the Sixth Year boys' dormitory. Harry's the flirtatious one now and Ron is the bookworm and Neville's, well, Neville. Then there's this oddness with Dean and Seamus isn't quite sure where he is or who he is or even if he wants to be who he is. Add to it that people are getting attacked and they're almost done with the year and Seamus just really wants things back to how they were when they were eleven.
He'd much rather be eleven and eating sweets in Dean's bed late at night than be here in the doorway of the dormitory while staring at the drawn curtains around Dean's bed. It's lonely here and Seamus hates that feeling; it reminds him too much of when Dean was kissing Ginny behind the tapestry of Honourous Horatio Hornington's Heroic Hunt.
"Dean?" he asks and waits for an answer. There isn't any, not even a shift on the bed or anything. "Mate? You there?"
Seamus isn't even sure why he's whispering. It's not like there's anyone else up here. Even though there still isn't a response from Dean's closed bed, Seamus is certain that he's in there.
"Dean?" he asks again, voice still a whisper. "What's this all about?"
This time, there's a rustle of bedding and Seamus takes it for an invitation. He opens the curtains and Dean is sitting, knees hugged to chest, at the head of the bed so Seamus sits at the foot. They're staring at one another and Seamus grows uncomfortable. Dean's not talking and if there's one thing guaranteed between them, it's conversation.
"Why'd you run like that?" Seamus is beyond confused, both with Dean and with himself. There's still that uncomfortable silence between them. Seamus mirrors Dean's position, curling his arms around his knees and resting his chin. They're less than a foot apart but it may as well be a mile with the way that Dean's looking everywhere but at him.
"Guess I didn't want to interrupt," Dean says quietly.
"Interrupt what?" It's a stupid question and Seamus realises it when Dean laughs bitterly.
"You know what." Dean's pissed and his hand comes off his knee to gesture wildly before he quiets once more. "You were snogging Lavender."
"Why'd you run off, though?" Seamus inches his feet out until toe touches toe. Dean's toes curl over his and the weight of them anchors Seamus in this morass of confusion.
"Don't know."
"Oh." The silence is there again and, this time, it's both of them looking everywhere but at one another though their toes are pressing even harder against one another.
Neville chooses this moment to yell up, "Dinner! Come on!"
~~**~~
"Come on, then, I dare you," Dean's taken control of the whisky bottle and Seamus is far too sober to be doing the dare that Neville - Neville, of all people - just gave. It's been three weeks since Harry kissed Ginny and Neville's just dared him to kiss Harry.
"I've got a girlfriend!" Harry protests and shouts erupt from the rest of the boys, overlapping one another to the point that Seamus can't quite hear any one voice. Seamus looks to see what Dean's doing and Dean's looking at him. Just looking at him like he dd last week right after he'd been kissing Lavender. Seamus hates that expression and wants it gone but he isn't even sure what it means let alone how to make it go away.
He doesn't want to kiss Harry. Maybe Dean knows that Seamus has been dreaming of kissing another guy and thinks that it's Harry. He'd be wrong because Harry isn't nearly tall enough to kiss. Maybe he's uncomfortable on Seamus's behalf but it's not like Seamus can be asking him, not in front of everyone.
Then Seamus wonders if maybe it's the kissing and nothing to do with Seamus at all. Maybe Dean misses kissing Ginny and he's upset that Seamus is kissing when he can't. The taunts and teasing are still going and Ron punches him on the shoulder. It's then that he decides that maybe kissing Harry on the cheek instead of the lips would be better. He winks before pressing his lips onto Harry's cheek. "Didn't say where I had to kiss him, did you, Nev? I'm smarter than you thought."
Seamus looks to Dean after he's done and Dean's smiling and making Neville take a drink. Relief sweeps through him that Dean's happy again and that, perhaps, it was Seamus that did it. There's warmth pooling in his stomach that confuses him even as he winks at Dean when they look at each other.
They're playing some sort of version of Truth or Dare or Make Someone Do The Most Embarrassing Shite Ever Just So Everyone Can Laugh. Seamus doesn't know, really. More importantly, he doesn't care. Things have been too tense and if it takes a smuggled bottle of firewhisky to get everyone laughing, than that's what'll be provided.
Since Seamus did the deed set to him, it's his turn so he dares Ron to eat some disgusting assortment of Bertie Bott's. Ron balks and elects to take a drink instead. The game keeps moving, the dares switching from silly to asinine and back. They're all laughing and it feels like it had when they'd all first started this journey together, back before the troll and the attacks and Voldemort and Ginny.
Finally, though, Ron's slumping against the bed and Harry's snoring and drooling. It's just Seamus and Neville and Dean. Neville burps, apologises and then shuffles off to bed.
"Want to help me get these wankers into bed?" Seamus asks and Dean laughs. They hadn't had even half as much to drink as the rest though whether that made them braver or dumber, Seamus didn't want to contemplate.
"Yeah, alright." They start with Ron and he's a sack of potatoes, all limp and heavy. He's also busy rambling on about Hermione in terms that Seamus doesn't really want to hear about.
"Didcha know Hermioninininininy's likes me likes me?" Ron has a bemused expression on his face and Seamus wants to smack him across the head.
"Aye, mate, now shut it." Seamus decides that the smack is justified as Ron starts rambling again. "You weigh a tonne. Christ but you need to lay off the treacle."
Dean laughs and Seamus can't help but laugh too. After grunting and tossing him, Ron's in his bed and Harry's easier to maneuver considering he's completely asleep.
Then it's just them and that's how Seamus likes it best. They crawl into Dean's bed, bringing the remains of the bottle and lean against the headboard with their feet touching. Seamus likes staring at their feet, likes the differences between Dean's long toes and smooth dark skin and his own short freckled feet. Their feet are really just like them, he imagines. Dean is all smooth dark skin and long elegant grace and Seamus feels like a short wanker next to him.
They're sitting close enough that Seamus can see that Dean has a small smattering of freckles on his cheek. He's never noticed it before and, without thinking, he reaches out a hand to touch them. It's then that Dean turns and they're a hairsbreadth apart. Unbidden, Seamus wonders what would've happened if it had been Dean instead of Harry. Dean's tall enough, after all. Would he have elected to take a drink instead? Would Dean have stared at him the same way he'd stared before he'd kissed Harry's cheek? Would he have kissed Dean on the lips?
It's a simple matter for his thoughts to swing from the woulds to the shoulds. Should he try it? Should he press his lips against Dean's? Should he shift his hand so that it slid into Dean's hair like he'd done to Lavender?
The choice disappears, though, as Dean's lips are on his and they're kissing, tongue and teeth and lips. Seamus's mind goes blank except for the thought that this is so very different, so much better than with Lavender, as his hand threads into Dean's hair. His lungs start burning and, when he pulls back to breathe, Dean's blurry but Seamus can tell he's smiling. Seamus is smiling too as he traces across Dean's cheek again. When Dean looks down at him, he thinks, hello there. It's been Dean in his dreams. He's been dreaming about kissing Dean and it's only natural, in this quiet surreal moment, to put his lips back on Dean's face.
They're kissing again and Dean's hand is in his hair and on his chest and running up his back. His hands are completely different from Lavender's; they're rough and callused and bigger. They're also stronger and Seamus likes the feel of Dean's chewed down nails raking across his back. For a moment, just a moment, when Dean's teeth are nipping his lower lip, Seamus has enough time to think how right this feels. There isn't enough room left over in his head for nervous, not when it's too filled with Dean.
Ron mumbles something and they leap apart. They're panting and catching their breath and now's when there's enough room for nervous. When Ron only turns over, mumbling some gibberish, Dean's hand rests over Seamus's on the bed.
"Will you stay?" Dean whispers and Seamus nods. They'd slept together before, countless times and in a variety of places. This shouldn't be any different, kiss or no. Curling into one another, Dean wraps around Seamus like a spoon and they fall asleep.
~~**~~
It's been a week since Dean kissed Seamus and four weeks since Harry kissed Ginny. They haven't kissed since, though Seamus finds himself dreaming about it every night. He's dreaming about it in class, too - his grades are slipping and he'd had to talk to McGonagall about their dismal state yesterday. He can't help but wonder if maybe it was a fluke, just a one time thing that isn't going to ever happen again because Dean's been acting like nothing's changed.
Everything's changed for Seamus. He's turned inside-out-upside-down. Lavender had asked him to "study" with her but Seamus had looked across the common room at Dean and that'd been enough for him to say 'no thanks' and leave it at that. She'd studied with someone else and Seamus doesn't care, not while there's this thing between Dean and him that's mixing him up.
Seamus can't pretend that nothing's changed. It's not in his nature to deceive himself like that. He finally corrals Dean after History of Magic and pulls him into the boys' loo. Dean looks confused and that pisses off Seamus. Shouldn't Dean be the one that's knowing what's going on? Shouldn't it be Dean corralling Seamus?
"What's this about?" Dean sounds innocent and Seamus is even more pissed.
"What this is about? You're fecking kidding me, aren't you?" Seamus leans in as he shouts.
"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Dean's leaning against the door and Seamus hauls off and punches, hard as he can, straight into Dean's stomach. Air comes out in an oomph and he doubles up. Seamus doesn't give him time to recover; he's too busy gripping Dean's face and kissing him. His hands hold tight to Dean's hair even as Dean straightens and their height difference becomes readily apparent.
Seamus isn't gentle, not like the last kiss, the only kiss. This is all teeth as he bites down on Dean's lip and sucks it in deep, tugging and pulling it. Dean's moaning or protesting and it doesn't matter because he's also delving his hands into Seamus's shirt. He hisses, or Dean does, as hand touches flesh. There're shivers up and down his back as Dean's hand dip below his waistband.
It's fierce and doesn't show any signs of gentling as Dean turns them and slams Seamus against the door. It's only when a knock sounds while a concerned voice asks, "Is everything alright in there?" that they stop and look at each other.
"Yes, ma'am, everything's alright," Seamus answers. Dean grins and Seamus grins and then Dean laughs and Seamus laughs.
~~**~~
Seamus can't seem to find the report that he and Dean need to turn in. He's looking everywhere in Dean's part of the room. He's already been through the bedside table and now he's digging through the trunk. It's been two weeks since Dean kissed Seamus and five weeks since Harry kissed Ginny when Seamus discovers the drawings. There are hundreds of them scattered throughout Dean's trunk and Seamus wonders if there's one for every kiss they've had since the loo last week.
The sketches are all in pencil, quick rapid lines that show Seamus, Dean or SeamusandDean and DeanandSeamus all run together. Dean's obviously been drawing them since long before they kissed. There're too many of them for only two weeks; Dean's quick but he isn't that quick.
One of them quickly becomes Seamus's favourite and it's one of him sleeping. It's a recent one since Seamus looks all of his seventeen years. The smile on his face is soft and it's not an expression he recognises.
Report forgotten, he takes the drawing into the loo. In front of the mirror, he tries to recreate it. He looks like an arse and he knows it, which only makes him grin, not smile. Scowling at himself in frustration, he stares at the drawing again.
"What're you doing? We're going to be late," Dean interrupts from the doorway and Seamus sees him in the mirror and smiles.
It's then that it hits him like a bolt of lightning, a chorus of angels singing - that might've been a flushing toilet - and the rest of the shit that goes along with it. Dean's drumming his fingers on his thighs, tapping out a rhythm that Seamus can't hear over the whooshing noise in his ears.
He's in love with Dean.
Worse, he's been in love with Dean for awhile, if the drawing's anything to go by. A bloke should know when he falls in love, shouldn't he? It should be new and exciting not always there and run-of-the-mill, so subtle that he never noticed it. Seamus feels cheated; he wanted the excitement of falling in love, dammit.
"Shame? I found the report and we're going to be late if you don't move your arse. What're you doing in here anyway?" Dean's voice breaks into his revelation and Seamus watches him approach in the mirror. He sees Dean's gaze go to the drawing before going back to Seamus and then back to the drawing again.
"Oh." It's a soft exhale from Dean and Seamus knows that Dean knows and, worse, Dean knows that Seamus knows that Dean knows. Or something, it's all too confusing for him right now. "That's my favourite, something about the way that you're smiling. You never smile like that when you're awake, you know? You're always too busy talking or something and…"
"Don't you two have class?" Ron asks from the doorway. The moment steals away and Seamus hates Ron right then and there.
~~**~~
Dumbledore's dead and his mam is staying in Hogsmeade. It's been three weeks since Dean kissed Seamus and six weeks since Harry kissed Ginny when his mam secures one of the last beds in Hogsmeade. She's paying a pretty dear price for it as well. Seamus knew she was coming as it would've been stupid to assume that she'd treat him like an adult. He might be able to Apparate but, to his mam, he'd always be the freckled little kid that liked the crust cut off his sandwich and a pile of crisps to the side.
That's part of the reason why he yells at her in the Entrance Hall. The other part is that he feels like a man now. He is a man now. The world's made him grow up and, besides, he's fallen in love with his best mate and you have to be a man to fall in love.
When the rest of the hall quiets, Seamus realises that he might've just said that out loud. Looking around at a few of the people nearby, he flushes because it's so obvious that he did just say that out loud and not quietly either. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, and he stands by his words while his mother starts sputtering. He's relieved that Dean isn't there for his declaration.
His mam's speechless but so is Seamus. The hall erupts in conversation as Dean comes down the stairs.
"Missus Finnigan, how are you?" Dean comes over and offers his hand. Thankfully, his mam takes it though it looks like she's about to erupt.
"Mam, can we talk about this later? Please?"
"Tomorrow, after the funeral, you and I are going to be having a serious chat, boyo." His mam turns on her heel and leaves. He's not sure why she's willing to leave it there, not when she'd been fighting him tooth and nail over staying for the funeral, but whatever did it, he's praising the Lord for it.
"What's this then?" Dean slings an arm over Seamus's shoulder and Seamus starts walking towards the doors as well.
"Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to talk about any of it. Can we just be for now?"
"Yeah, sure." Dean squeezes before letting go. He's noticed the stares and Seamus hates each and every single person in the hall that won't let them be.
"Mind your own fecking business!"
~~**~~
It's been four weeks since Dean kissed Seamus, seven weeks since Harry kissed Ginny and a week since Harry dumped Ginny. His mam isn't talking to him as she went back to Ireland in a huff when he'd refused to go back. He wasn't sure what he was going to be doing to help or even if he'd be allowed to help.
They hadn't talked about his declaration and Seamus's bravery failed him at approaching that conversation. Then again, Seamus hadn't talked to Dean about it either but what with the rumour mill, he was sure that Dean'd had to have heard.
It's gotten harder to kiss, too. Or talk. Or kiss. Mrs. Thomas means well, he knows, but he's starting to dislike her. She's always there and he wonders if his mam talked to Dean's mam. There's no escaping her and Seamus doesn't remember her ever being around like this before.
They're sitting on the small landing outside Dean's window, looking out over London and breathing in the exhaust from the autos below. Alone for now, Seamus is sure that Dean's mam is going to be interrupting soon to tell them that dinner's ready or there're biscuits or whatever other excuse she can come up with.
"What do you think you'll do after all the shit with Voldemort's done?" Seamus asks as he swings his legs over the edge and leans against the railing. Their elbows are brushing as they weave arms through the railing.
"Don't know, really. You?" Dean turns and looks at Seamus.
"Was thinking of doing something with Quidditch, maybe work with a team or something. I dunno, though," Seamus responds.
"Think you'll stay in Ireland?" There's a weight to Dean's question.
"Not unless you're going to be there." The grin splitting Dean's face is worth it. "Meant what I said in the Entrance Hall, ye ken?"
His last words have wiped that smile away. "What? That you don't want to talk about it or minding my own business?"
"No, about loving you, dippus." Dean looks gobsmacked and Seamus realises that, yet again, he's just blurted out the confession when he should've possibly done something a bit more. He's not at all sure what that more would've or should've been but he doesn't think calling Dean an idiot is quite the way to confess his feelings. "No one told you?"
"You love me?" Seamus nods in response before removing his arm from the metal railing and shutting Dean's mouth.
"Aye, told the whole of the school, was sure that someone would've mentioned it to you what with how loud Mam and I were arguing."
"You love me," Dean repeats.
"Now you're sounding barmy." Seamus looks back out onto the city and his legs swing faster and harder. This isn't going well and Dean's reaction bothers him more than he'd thought.
"You love me," Dean repeats again, but this time he sounds happier.
"Nutter." Seamus doesn't look over to see if Dean's smiling or not.
"You - " Dean starts and Seamus interrupts.
"Love you, aye, we've covered that. What do you think of the Falcon's chances?"
"I was going to say that you don't love me as much as I love you." It's Seamus's turn to gape. The blood rushes out of - or is it into? - his head. He can't tell which way because his pulse is echoing in his ears but he can't really breathe. He's all topsy-turvy again, just like only Dean's been able to mix him up before.
"Is that right?" Seamus has finally recovered enough to respond.
"I reckon so," Dean says with a laugh.
"We'll just have to see about that." Seamus reaches out and twines his arm with Dean's in the railing.
Seamus is glad that Harry kissed Ginny and broke Dean's heart. Maybe it was the breaking that fixed its vision. It'd been looking in the wrong direction and now, it's perfect.
Except for Dean's mam yelling from the kitchen.
Author: wook77
Recipient: a_real_phony
Pairing: Dean Thomas/Seamus Finnigan
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: present tense
Summary: Seamus starts marking time from the moment Dean's heart was broken.
A/N: Thanks to my betas T & L. All remaining mistakes are my own. Part of this is inspired by this piece of artwork by a_real_phony. I hope you enjoy this!
It's been a week since Ginny and Harry kissed. Dean isn't happy and Seamus understands it. What he doesn't and, more importantly, can't understand is why he is happy about Dean being alone and miserable. He doesn't think it's the miserable part and he's fairly certain that Dean isn't alone. After all, they're still mates, aren't they? They're DeanandSeamus, SeamusandDean, all run together. Back together.
When Dean flops down onto the couch next to him, Seamus turns and grins before punching him on the arm. Dean sneers before punching him back. It's war, now, because that was hard enough to send a twinge through his shoulder so Seamus hits him again. The contest devolves into a wrestling match, Dean finally pinning Seamus to the floor.
As Seamus lies there panting, he thinks things are back on track. Especially after Harry and Ginny choose that moment to walk hand-in-hand into the common room and Dean only looks quickly before punching Seamus on the shoulder again. The twinge is worth the smile on Dean's face though he's not entirely certain that it was necessary for Dean to push against his stomach before standing and offering a hand.
There's a gentle squeeze to his hand after Seamus is standing and he squeezes back. His face heats up as they stand there with their hands wrapped around one another for too long. Once he realises, he's quick to pull away and the flush spreads. A quick look around the room tells him that no one else noticed but that still leaves Dean. Dean and his confused expression and the blush across both their faces.
~~**~~
It's been two weeks since Harry kissed Ginny and Seamus is behind the stacks with Lavender Brown. They're supposed to be working on some rubbish Divination assignment. Only, they're not. Unless kissing is a form of determining the future. Seamus likes to think it is what with the warm wet feeling and the thrill that he gets when they pause for air and he sees Dean.
He pauses as his brain skitters to a stop. He…and the… but… his brain isn't working, it's completely shut down while he stares at Dean and Dean stares back at him and Lavender touches his shoulder and Seamus shrugs her off and Dean turns and runs from the library and Madam Pince yells something after him but Seamus doesn't hear because he's running after Dean too. It's all too much for his brain to absorb. It's too fixated on DeanDeanDean and not on the opening door that he runs into full tilt. Rebounding quickly and holding a hand to his bleeding nose, Seamus continues running but he's sure that he's lost Dean as there's no too-tall wanker in the crowd.
He's breathing heavy as he scans the hallway and the staircases that are realigning themselves.
"Oi! Thomas!" he yells as he's pinching the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to slow the flow of blood. He gets a few funny looks but none of them are from Dean.
"Honestly, Seamus," comes a voice from the back of his right shoulder. There's a tingle and the blood stops as Hermione appears. "He went to the common room. Try not to run into any more doors."
"Yeah, thanks, Hermione," he says offhandedly as he clambers up the nearest staircase, avoiding the sixth step as it's not really there.
When he reaches the common room, Dean's still nowhere to be found. Harry and Ginny are kissing on the couch and Ron's actually studying. The world's gone mad, he decides as he heads up to the Sixth Year boys' dormitory. Harry's the flirtatious one now and Ron is the bookworm and Neville's, well, Neville. Then there's this oddness with Dean and Seamus isn't quite sure where he is or who he is or even if he wants to be who he is. Add to it that people are getting attacked and they're almost done with the year and Seamus just really wants things back to how they were when they were eleven.
He'd much rather be eleven and eating sweets in Dean's bed late at night than be here in the doorway of the dormitory while staring at the drawn curtains around Dean's bed. It's lonely here and Seamus hates that feeling; it reminds him too much of when Dean was kissing Ginny behind the tapestry of Honourous Horatio Hornington's Heroic Hunt.
"Dean?" he asks and waits for an answer. There isn't any, not even a shift on the bed or anything. "Mate? You there?"
Seamus isn't even sure why he's whispering. It's not like there's anyone else up here. Even though there still isn't a response from Dean's closed bed, Seamus is certain that he's in there.
"Dean?" he asks again, voice still a whisper. "What's this all about?"
This time, there's a rustle of bedding and Seamus takes it for an invitation. He opens the curtains and Dean is sitting, knees hugged to chest, at the head of the bed so Seamus sits at the foot. They're staring at one another and Seamus grows uncomfortable. Dean's not talking and if there's one thing guaranteed between them, it's conversation.
"Why'd you run like that?" Seamus is beyond confused, both with Dean and with himself. There's still that uncomfortable silence between them. Seamus mirrors Dean's position, curling his arms around his knees and resting his chin. They're less than a foot apart but it may as well be a mile with the way that Dean's looking everywhere but at him.
"Guess I didn't want to interrupt," Dean says quietly.
"Interrupt what?" It's a stupid question and Seamus realises it when Dean laughs bitterly.
"You know what." Dean's pissed and his hand comes off his knee to gesture wildly before he quiets once more. "You were snogging Lavender."
"Why'd you run off, though?" Seamus inches his feet out until toe touches toe. Dean's toes curl over his and the weight of them anchors Seamus in this morass of confusion.
"Don't know."
"Oh." The silence is there again and, this time, it's both of them looking everywhere but at one another though their toes are pressing even harder against one another.
Neville chooses this moment to yell up, "Dinner! Come on!"
~~**~~
"Come on, then, I dare you," Dean's taken control of the whisky bottle and Seamus is far too sober to be doing the dare that Neville - Neville, of all people - just gave. It's been three weeks since Harry kissed Ginny and Neville's just dared him to kiss Harry.
"I've got a girlfriend!" Harry protests and shouts erupt from the rest of the boys, overlapping one another to the point that Seamus can't quite hear any one voice. Seamus looks to see what Dean's doing and Dean's looking at him. Just looking at him like he dd last week right after he'd been kissing Lavender. Seamus hates that expression and wants it gone but he isn't even sure what it means let alone how to make it go away.
He doesn't want to kiss Harry. Maybe Dean knows that Seamus has been dreaming of kissing another guy and thinks that it's Harry. He'd be wrong because Harry isn't nearly tall enough to kiss. Maybe he's uncomfortable on Seamus's behalf but it's not like Seamus can be asking him, not in front of everyone.
Then Seamus wonders if maybe it's the kissing and nothing to do with Seamus at all. Maybe Dean misses kissing Ginny and he's upset that Seamus is kissing when he can't. The taunts and teasing are still going and Ron punches him on the shoulder. It's then that he decides that maybe kissing Harry on the cheek instead of the lips would be better. He winks before pressing his lips onto Harry's cheek. "Didn't say where I had to kiss him, did you, Nev? I'm smarter than you thought."
Seamus looks to Dean after he's done and Dean's smiling and making Neville take a drink. Relief sweeps through him that Dean's happy again and that, perhaps, it was Seamus that did it. There's warmth pooling in his stomach that confuses him even as he winks at Dean when they look at each other.
They're playing some sort of version of Truth or Dare or Make Someone Do The Most Embarrassing Shite Ever Just So Everyone Can Laugh. Seamus doesn't know, really. More importantly, he doesn't care. Things have been too tense and if it takes a smuggled bottle of firewhisky to get everyone laughing, than that's what'll be provided.
Since Seamus did the deed set to him, it's his turn so he dares Ron to eat some disgusting assortment of Bertie Bott's. Ron balks and elects to take a drink instead. The game keeps moving, the dares switching from silly to asinine and back. They're all laughing and it feels like it had when they'd all first started this journey together, back before the troll and the attacks and Voldemort and Ginny.
Finally, though, Ron's slumping against the bed and Harry's snoring and drooling. It's just Seamus and Neville and Dean. Neville burps, apologises and then shuffles off to bed.
"Want to help me get these wankers into bed?" Seamus asks and Dean laughs. They hadn't had even half as much to drink as the rest though whether that made them braver or dumber, Seamus didn't want to contemplate.
"Yeah, alright." They start with Ron and he's a sack of potatoes, all limp and heavy. He's also busy rambling on about Hermione in terms that Seamus doesn't really want to hear about.
"Didcha know Hermioninininininy's likes me likes me?" Ron has a bemused expression on his face and Seamus wants to smack him across the head.
"Aye, mate, now shut it." Seamus decides that the smack is justified as Ron starts rambling again. "You weigh a tonne. Christ but you need to lay off the treacle."
Dean laughs and Seamus can't help but laugh too. After grunting and tossing him, Ron's in his bed and Harry's easier to maneuver considering he's completely asleep.
Then it's just them and that's how Seamus likes it best. They crawl into Dean's bed, bringing the remains of the bottle and lean against the headboard with their feet touching. Seamus likes staring at their feet, likes the differences between Dean's long toes and smooth dark skin and his own short freckled feet. Their feet are really just like them, he imagines. Dean is all smooth dark skin and long elegant grace and Seamus feels like a short wanker next to him.
They're sitting close enough that Seamus can see that Dean has a small smattering of freckles on his cheek. He's never noticed it before and, without thinking, he reaches out a hand to touch them. It's then that Dean turns and they're a hairsbreadth apart. Unbidden, Seamus wonders what would've happened if it had been Dean instead of Harry. Dean's tall enough, after all. Would he have elected to take a drink instead? Would Dean have stared at him the same way he'd stared before he'd kissed Harry's cheek? Would he have kissed Dean on the lips?
It's a simple matter for his thoughts to swing from the woulds to the shoulds. Should he try it? Should he press his lips against Dean's? Should he shift his hand so that it slid into Dean's hair like he'd done to Lavender?
The choice disappears, though, as Dean's lips are on his and they're kissing, tongue and teeth and lips. Seamus's mind goes blank except for the thought that this is so very different, so much better than with Lavender, as his hand threads into Dean's hair. His lungs start burning and, when he pulls back to breathe, Dean's blurry but Seamus can tell he's smiling. Seamus is smiling too as he traces across Dean's cheek again. When Dean looks down at him, he thinks, hello there. It's been Dean in his dreams. He's been dreaming about kissing Dean and it's only natural, in this quiet surreal moment, to put his lips back on Dean's face.
They're kissing again and Dean's hand is in his hair and on his chest and running up his back. His hands are completely different from Lavender's; they're rough and callused and bigger. They're also stronger and Seamus likes the feel of Dean's chewed down nails raking across his back. For a moment, just a moment, when Dean's teeth are nipping his lower lip, Seamus has enough time to think how right this feels. There isn't enough room left over in his head for nervous, not when it's too filled with Dean.
Ron mumbles something and they leap apart. They're panting and catching their breath and now's when there's enough room for nervous. When Ron only turns over, mumbling some gibberish, Dean's hand rests over Seamus's on the bed.
"Will you stay?" Dean whispers and Seamus nods. They'd slept together before, countless times and in a variety of places. This shouldn't be any different, kiss or no. Curling into one another, Dean wraps around Seamus like a spoon and they fall asleep.
~~**~~
It's been a week since Dean kissed Seamus and four weeks since Harry kissed Ginny. They haven't kissed since, though Seamus finds himself dreaming about it every night. He's dreaming about it in class, too - his grades are slipping and he'd had to talk to McGonagall about their dismal state yesterday. He can't help but wonder if maybe it was a fluke, just a one time thing that isn't going to ever happen again because Dean's been acting like nothing's changed.
Everything's changed for Seamus. He's turned inside-out-upside-down. Lavender had asked him to "study" with her but Seamus had looked across the common room at Dean and that'd been enough for him to say 'no thanks' and leave it at that. She'd studied with someone else and Seamus doesn't care, not while there's this thing between Dean and him that's mixing him up.
Seamus can't pretend that nothing's changed. It's not in his nature to deceive himself like that. He finally corrals Dean after History of Magic and pulls him into the boys' loo. Dean looks confused and that pisses off Seamus. Shouldn't Dean be the one that's knowing what's going on? Shouldn't it be Dean corralling Seamus?
"What's this about?" Dean sounds innocent and Seamus is even more pissed.
"What this is about? You're fecking kidding me, aren't you?" Seamus leans in as he shouts.
"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Dean's leaning against the door and Seamus hauls off and punches, hard as he can, straight into Dean's stomach. Air comes out in an oomph and he doubles up. Seamus doesn't give him time to recover; he's too busy gripping Dean's face and kissing him. His hands hold tight to Dean's hair even as Dean straightens and their height difference becomes readily apparent.
Seamus isn't gentle, not like the last kiss, the only kiss. This is all teeth as he bites down on Dean's lip and sucks it in deep, tugging and pulling it. Dean's moaning or protesting and it doesn't matter because he's also delving his hands into Seamus's shirt. He hisses, or Dean does, as hand touches flesh. There're shivers up and down his back as Dean's hand dip below his waistband.
It's fierce and doesn't show any signs of gentling as Dean turns them and slams Seamus against the door. It's only when a knock sounds while a concerned voice asks, "Is everything alright in there?" that they stop and look at each other.
"Yes, ma'am, everything's alright," Seamus answers. Dean grins and Seamus grins and then Dean laughs and Seamus laughs.
~~**~~
Seamus can't seem to find the report that he and Dean need to turn in. He's looking everywhere in Dean's part of the room. He's already been through the bedside table and now he's digging through the trunk. It's been two weeks since Dean kissed Seamus and five weeks since Harry kissed Ginny when Seamus discovers the drawings. There are hundreds of them scattered throughout Dean's trunk and Seamus wonders if there's one for every kiss they've had since the loo last week.
The sketches are all in pencil, quick rapid lines that show Seamus, Dean or SeamusandDean and DeanandSeamus all run together. Dean's obviously been drawing them since long before they kissed. There're too many of them for only two weeks; Dean's quick but he isn't that quick.
One of them quickly becomes Seamus's favourite and it's one of him sleeping. It's a recent one since Seamus looks all of his seventeen years. The smile on his face is soft and it's not an expression he recognises.
Report forgotten, he takes the drawing into the loo. In front of the mirror, he tries to recreate it. He looks like an arse and he knows it, which only makes him grin, not smile. Scowling at himself in frustration, he stares at the drawing again.
"What're you doing? We're going to be late," Dean interrupts from the doorway and Seamus sees him in the mirror and smiles.
It's then that it hits him like a bolt of lightning, a chorus of angels singing - that might've been a flushing toilet - and the rest of the shit that goes along with it. Dean's drumming his fingers on his thighs, tapping out a rhythm that Seamus can't hear over the whooshing noise in his ears.
He's in love with Dean.
Worse, he's been in love with Dean for awhile, if the drawing's anything to go by. A bloke should know when he falls in love, shouldn't he? It should be new and exciting not always there and run-of-the-mill, so subtle that he never noticed it. Seamus feels cheated; he wanted the excitement of falling in love, dammit.
"Shame? I found the report and we're going to be late if you don't move your arse. What're you doing in here anyway?" Dean's voice breaks into his revelation and Seamus watches him approach in the mirror. He sees Dean's gaze go to the drawing before going back to Seamus and then back to the drawing again.
"Oh." It's a soft exhale from Dean and Seamus knows that Dean knows and, worse, Dean knows that Seamus knows that Dean knows. Or something, it's all too confusing for him right now. "That's my favourite, something about the way that you're smiling. You never smile like that when you're awake, you know? You're always too busy talking or something and…"
"Don't you two have class?" Ron asks from the doorway. The moment steals away and Seamus hates Ron right then and there.
~~**~~
Dumbledore's dead and his mam is staying in Hogsmeade. It's been three weeks since Dean kissed Seamus and six weeks since Harry kissed Ginny when his mam secures one of the last beds in Hogsmeade. She's paying a pretty dear price for it as well. Seamus knew she was coming as it would've been stupid to assume that she'd treat him like an adult. He might be able to Apparate but, to his mam, he'd always be the freckled little kid that liked the crust cut off his sandwich and a pile of crisps to the side.
That's part of the reason why he yells at her in the Entrance Hall. The other part is that he feels like a man now. He is a man now. The world's made him grow up and, besides, he's fallen in love with his best mate and you have to be a man to fall in love.
When the rest of the hall quiets, Seamus realises that he might've just said that out loud. Looking around at a few of the people nearby, he flushes because it's so obvious that he did just say that out loud and not quietly either. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, and he stands by his words while his mother starts sputtering. He's relieved that Dean isn't there for his declaration.
His mam's speechless but so is Seamus. The hall erupts in conversation as Dean comes down the stairs.
"Missus Finnigan, how are you?" Dean comes over and offers his hand. Thankfully, his mam takes it though it looks like she's about to erupt.
"Mam, can we talk about this later? Please?"
"Tomorrow, after the funeral, you and I are going to be having a serious chat, boyo." His mam turns on her heel and leaves. He's not sure why she's willing to leave it there, not when she'd been fighting him tooth and nail over staying for the funeral, but whatever did it, he's praising the Lord for it.
"What's this then?" Dean slings an arm over Seamus's shoulder and Seamus starts walking towards the doors as well.
"Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to talk about any of it. Can we just be for now?"
"Yeah, sure." Dean squeezes before letting go. He's noticed the stares and Seamus hates each and every single person in the hall that won't let them be.
"Mind your own fecking business!"
~~**~~
It's been four weeks since Dean kissed Seamus, seven weeks since Harry kissed Ginny and a week since Harry dumped Ginny. His mam isn't talking to him as she went back to Ireland in a huff when he'd refused to go back. He wasn't sure what he was going to be doing to help or even if he'd be allowed to help.
They hadn't talked about his declaration and Seamus's bravery failed him at approaching that conversation. Then again, Seamus hadn't talked to Dean about it either but what with the rumour mill, he was sure that Dean'd had to have heard.
It's gotten harder to kiss, too. Or talk. Or kiss. Mrs. Thomas means well, he knows, but he's starting to dislike her. She's always there and he wonders if his mam talked to Dean's mam. There's no escaping her and Seamus doesn't remember her ever being around like this before.
They're sitting on the small landing outside Dean's window, looking out over London and breathing in the exhaust from the autos below. Alone for now, Seamus is sure that Dean's mam is going to be interrupting soon to tell them that dinner's ready or there're biscuits or whatever other excuse she can come up with.
"What do you think you'll do after all the shit with Voldemort's done?" Seamus asks as he swings his legs over the edge and leans against the railing. Their elbows are brushing as they weave arms through the railing.
"Don't know, really. You?" Dean turns and looks at Seamus.
"Was thinking of doing something with Quidditch, maybe work with a team or something. I dunno, though," Seamus responds.
"Think you'll stay in Ireland?" There's a weight to Dean's question.
"Not unless you're going to be there." The grin splitting Dean's face is worth it. "Meant what I said in the Entrance Hall, ye ken?"
His last words have wiped that smile away. "What? That you don't want to talk about it or minding my own business?"
"No, about loving you, dippus." Dean looks gobsmacked and Seamus realises that, yet again, he's just blurted out the confession when he should've possibly done something a bit more. He's not at all sure what that more would've or should've been but he doesn't think calling Dean an idiot is quite the way to confess his feelings. "No one told you?"
"You love me?" Seamus nods in response before removing his arm from the metal railing and shutting Dean's mouth.
"Aye, told the whole of the school, was sure that someone would've mentioned it to you what with how loud Mam and I were arguing."
"You love me," Dean repeats.
"Now you're sounding barmy." Seamus looks back out onto the city and his legs swing faster and harder. This isn't going well and Dean's reaction bothers him more than he'd thought.
"You love me," Dean repeats again, but this time he sounds happier.
"Nutter." Seamus doesn't look over to see if Dean's smiling or not.
"You - " Dean starts and Seamus interrupts.
"Love you, aye, we've covered that. What do you think of the Falcon's chances?"
"I was going to say that you don't love me as much as I love you." It's Seamus's turn to gape. The blood rushes out of - or is it into? - his head. He can't tell which way because his pulse is echoing in his ears but he can't really breathe. He's all topsy-turvy again, just like only Dean's been able to mix him up before.
"Is that right?" Seamus has finally recovered enough to respond.
"I reckon so," Dean says with a laugh.
"We'll just have to see about that." Seamus reaches out and twines his arm with Dean's in the railing.
Seamus is glad that Harry kissed Ginny and broke Dean's heart. Maybe it was the breaking that fixed its vision. It'd been looking in the wrong direction and now, it's perfect.
Except for Dean's mam yelling from the kitchen.