(no subject)
Title: Are the Kids Asleep?
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:I don't own Christopher Pine or Zachary Quinto and none of what I write about them is in any way real. S'all for fun :)
Summary:Zach and Chris' son get them into trouble.
Word Count:1,148
A/N:Some may find this funny, others a bit disturbing. But it was all inspired by this video!
Are the Kids Asleep?
Knock Knock!
“Who is it?”
“Me!”
“Me who?”
“Daddy!”
“Sorry, can’t let you in if we don’t know who you are.”
“Papa, come on!”
“Sorry, me!”
Knock Knock!
“Who is it?”
“Me, Jonathan!”
“So sorry, but we don’t know any Me Jonathan’s.”
Thump Thump Thump!
“Ughhhh! It’s your son, Papa! Can I please come in!”
“I don’t know-I think you might actually be Me Jonathan pretending to be our son.”
“…”
Sniffle
“Chris, hush! You can come in son.”
“You’re both mean pancakes.” The door opened to reveal two sleep rumpled, grinning men to the small dark haired Indian boy with Hot Wheels pajamas.
“’Mean pancakes’? What does that even mean?” Chris asked, confused.
Zach stopped their son from coming any further instead of answering the question. “Hey, hey, hey, where are you going with that?” Zach said, pointing to the green cereal box clutched against the small body.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“Ooh, you brought us breakfast in bed buddy?”
Jonathan smiled brightly at Chris and nodded. “Yeah! Apple Jacks!”
“My favorite, bring it up!” Chris eagerly patted the space left between him and Zach.
“Wait, before you come any further I need you to go get some napkins, please.” Zach instructed sitting up against the headboard.
The cherubic boy sighed, “Yes, daddy.” He left the box sitting on the chest at the foot of the bed before running out of the room. He was back in a flash with paper napkins of which he carefully placed one on his daddy’s lap, one on his papa’s chest and one on the bed in front of him. He placed the extra behind him.
“Are your hands clean?” Zach asked, stopping the boy from sticking his little fingers in the box.
Jonathan inspected his hands; they looked clean enough, though he had been petting Noah just now. But Noah had just gotten a bath yesterday so it’s probably alright…right? “Uhhh…yes?”
Zach lifted an eyebrow, “Go wash them, please.”
Chris had been satisfied to watch his partner and son interact but intervened when he saw that little face scrunch up, and body coil up in preparation for that god awful whining. “Alright, alright let’s just use hand sanitizer okay?”
Zach mumbled under his breath that it wasn’t the same as soap and water but held out his hand anyways; at least they were saved from a fit.
Once everyone was served ten Jacks, morning conversation started up.
First grade was only a week away for Jonathan and they need to get supplies.
It was Chris’s turn to house clean that weekend so that is what he would be doing today.
Zach had the weekend free so he’d decided to take his son school shopping and maybe get an ice cream after.
“Okay, but only I can have ice cream, not you or daddy.” Jonathan said off-handedly.
Chris and Zach gave each other looks before turning their attention back to their son.
“Why can’t we have ice cream bud?” Zach asked.
“Cause you’ve been naughty.”
Chris laughed, “Really, now, how so?”
“You weren’t sleeping when it was night time. I heard you and daddy making loud noises in your room.”
Zach’s eyes widened and he started panicking. But wait, they hadn’t had sex in two nights so maybe he’d heard something else. “When was this?” he asked calmly.
Jonathan shrugged, “I don’t ‘member. Two yesterday’s ago I guess?”
Chris snickered and covered his eyes with his forearm. He couldn’t believe what his son was telling him!
“God! What did you hear?” Zach choked out.
Jonathan giggled and raised himself onto his knees. “I heard the bed bumping against the wall like this.” He reached over and shook the headboard so that it smacked the wall behind it rhythmically. “Like that.”
Chris held in the next snicker that threatened to be released and removed his arm to grin at Zach’s mortified face. “Why were you out of your bed son?”
“I had to go potty.”
Zach gasped, “Was that the night I told you not to drink all that water?”
Jonathan looked down guiltily and drew small patterns across the comforter with his index finger. “Yeah…”
‘Fuck!’ They’d been really loud that night, well at least he had been. So loud in fact, that Chris had gag him. But that hadn’t in any way kept him from making sounds. “Christopher! This isn’t funny.”
“And I heard Papa go ‘uh-uh’ and growl really loud.”
“Jesus Christ!” Chris couldn’t stop the snorting laughter from spilling out. He knew this was wrong and could quite possibly scar his kid when he got old enough to know what those sounds meant, but this whole damn thing was priceless!
“And, and, and” Jonathan said enthusiasm growing as he told his story. “I heard ‘ah-ah-aaah’! I don’t know who said that though.”
“Oh my god, Jonathan I’m so sorry baby.” Zach moaned, crushing the six-year-old to his chest.
“Ha ha, anything else?”
“Chris, stop.”
“Just, a lot of ‘fuck yeah’ and growling. I thought ‘fuck’ was a bad word Papa?”
The laughter stopped and both men froze.
“Ohmygod! Yes, yes it is and don’t you ever say that word again!” Zach screeched.
Jonathan pouted. “I’m just telling you what I heard. You’re the ones who said the bad word!”
“Yes and we’re both very naughty to have said all of those things and we shouldn’t have been up talking that late at night.” Chris reassured, ruffling those midnight black locks.
“Right, now why don’t you go and watch TV, hmm? I’ll be out in a second to make your favorite, alright?” Zach said, kissing his son on the head before prodding him towards the door.
“Okay…I’m not in trouble right? I didn’t mean to hear those things, really!” Jonathan said worriedly.
“Of course not, babe. Don’t worry about it.”
The little boy took one last look at his parents before taking the cereal box and jumping off the bed towards the living room.
“What the hell, Chris!” Zach hissed, smacking his smiling partner on the chest.
“Hey! I told you, you were being too loud but did you listen? No.” Chris said, crossing his arms across his chest.
Zach growled quietly and pushed the other man off the bed roughly. “Fucker! You could have effing warned me before you decided to go down on me like that, you know I can’t control how I, em express my feelings when you do that. So this as your fault as much as it is mine.” With that, Zachary made his way to the bathroom, closing the door firmly.
Chris lay sprawled on the floor with one leg still on the bed. He listened to the shower turn on and the “Franklin” theme song floating from the living room. He sighed, then grinned, then smiled, then chuckled, then out right laughed his head off.
Damn…his son probably knew his Daddy’s name.
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:I don't own Christopher Pine or Zachary Quinto and none of what I write about them is in any way real. S'all for fun :)
Summary:Zach and Chris' son get them into trouble.
Word Count:1,148
A/N:Some may find this funny, others a bit disturbing. But it was all inspired by this video!
Are the Kids Asleep?
Knock Knock!
“Who is it?”
“Me!”
“Me who?”
“Daddy!”
“Sorry, can’t let you in if we don’t know who you are.”
“Papa, come on!”
“Sorry, me!”
Knock Knock!
“Who is it?”
“Me, Jonathan!”
“So sorry, but we don’t know any Me Jonathan’s.”
Thump Thump Thump!
“Ughhhh! It’s your son, Papa! Can I please come in!”
“I don’t know-I think you might actually be Me Jonathan pretending to be our son.”
“…”
Sniffle
“Chris, hush! You can come in son.”
“You’re both mean pancakes.” The door opened to reveal two sleep rumpled, grinning men to the small dark haired Indian boy with Hot Wheels pajamas.
“’Mean pancakes’? What does that even mean?” Chris asked, confused.
Zach stopped their son from coming any further instead of answering the question. “Hey, hey, hey, where are you going with that?” Zach said, pointing to the green cereal box clutched against the small body.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“Ooh, you brought us breakfast in bed buddy?”
Jonathan smiled brightly at Chris and nodded. “Yeah! Apple Jacks!”
“My favorite, bring it up!” Chris eagerly patted the space left between him and Zach.
“Wait, before you come any further I need you to go get some napkins, please.” Zach instructed sitting up against the headboard.
The cherubic boy sighed, “Yes, daddy.” He left the box sitting on the chest at the foot of the bed before running out of the room. He was back in a flash with paper napkins of which he carefully placed one on his daddy’s lap, one on his papa’s chest and one on the bed in front of him. He placed the extra behind him.
“Are your hands clean?” Zach asked, stopping the boy from sticking his little fingers in the box.
Jonathan inspected his hands; they looked clean enough, though he had been petting Noah just now. But Noah had just gotten a bath yesterday so it’s probably alright…right? “Uhhh…yes?”
Zach lifted an eyebrow, “Go wash them, please.”
Chris had been satisfied to watch his partner and son interact but intervened when he saw that little face scrunch up, and body coil up in preparation for that god awful whining. “Alright, alright let’s just use hand sanitizer okay?”
Zach mumbled under his breath that it wasn’t the same as soap and water but held out his hand anyways; at least they were saved from a fit.
Once everyone was served ten Jacks, morning conversation started up.
First grade was only a week away for Jonathan and they need to get supplies.
It was Chris’s turn to house clean that weekend so that is what he would be doing today.
Zach had the weekend free so he’d decided to take his son school shopping and maybe get an ice cream after.
“Okay, but only I can have ice cream, not you or daddy.” Jonathan said off-handedly.
Chris and Zach gave each other looks before turning their attention back to their son.
“Why can’t we have ice cream bud?” Zach asked.
“Cause you’ve been naughty.”
Chris laughed, “Really, now, how so?”
“You weren’t sleeping when it was night time. I heard you and daddy making loud noises in your room.”
Zach’s eyes widened and he started panicking. But wait, they hadn’t had sex in two nights so maybe he’d heard something else. “When was this?” he asked calmly.
Jonathan shrugged, “I don’t ‘member. Two yesterday’s ago I guess?”
Chris snickered and covered his eyes with his forearm. He couldn’t believe what his son was telling him!
“God! What did you hear?” Zach choked out.
Jonathan giggled and raised himself onto his knees. “I heard the bed bumping against the wall like this.” He reached over and shook the headboard so that it smacked the wall behind it rhythmically. “Like that.”
Chris held in the next snicker that threatened to be released and removed his arm to grin at Zach’s mortified face. “Why were you out of your bed son?”
“I had to go potty.”
Zach gasped, “Was that the night I told you not to drink all that water?”
Jonathan looked down guiltily and drew small patterns across the comforter with his index finger. “Yeah…”
‘Fuck!’ They’d been really loud that night, well at least he had been. So loud in fact, that Chris had gag him. But that hadn’t in any way kept him from making sounds. “Christopher! This isn’t funny.”
“And I heard Papa go ‘uh-uh’ and growl really loud.”
“Jesus Christ!” Chris couldn’t stop the snorting laughter from spilling out. He knew this was wrong and could quite possibly scar his kid when he got old enough to know what those sounds meant, but this whole damn thing was priceless!
“And, and, and” Jonathan said enthusiasm growing as he told his story. “I heard ‘ah-ah-aaah’! I don’t know who said that though.”
“Oh my god, Jonathan I’m so sorry baby.” Zach moaned, crushing the six-year-old to his chest.
“Ha ha, anything else?”
“Chris, stop.”
“Just, a lot of ‘fuck yeah’ and growling. I thought ‘fuck’ was a bad word Papa?”
The laughter stopped and both men froze.
“Ohmygod! Yes, yes it is and don’t you ever say that word again!” Zach screeched.
Jonathan pouted. “I’m just telling you what I heard. You’re the ones who said the bad word!”
“Yes and we’re both very naughty to have said all of those things and we shouldn’t have been up talking that late at night.” Chris reassured, ruffling those midnight black locks.
“Right, now why don’t you go and watch TV, hmm? I’ll be out in a second to make your favorite, alright?” Zach said, kissing his son on the head before prodding him towards the door.
“Okay…I’m not in trouble right? I didn’t mean to hear those things, really!” Jonathan said worriedly.
“Of course not, babe. Don’t worry about it.”
The little boy took one last look at his parents before taking the cereal box and jumping off the bed towards the living room.
“What the hell, Chris!” Zach hissed, smacking his smiling partner on the chest.
“Hey! I told you, you were being too loud but did you listen? No.” Chris said, crossing his arms across his chest.
Zach growled quietly and pushed the other man off the bed roughly. “Fucker! You could have effing warned me before you decided to go down on me like that, you know I can’t control how I, em express my feelings when you do that. So this as your fault as much as it is mine.” With that, Zachary made his way to the bathroom, closing the door firmly.
Chris lay sprawled on the floor with one leg still on the bed. He listened to the shower turn on and the “Franklin” theme song floating from the living room. He sighed, then grinned, then smiled, then chuckled, then out right laughed his head off.
Damn…his son probably knew his Daddy’s name.