Funniest thing EVER
I have to believe this has already made rounds in the fandom, but I just found it and... It. Is. Fricking. Hilarious:
Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) is Jesus Killer Rowling's (and you wonder why she goes by her initials!) homosexual recruitment poster-boy. How do we know he is a depraved homosexual? Well, he's English. Furthermore, when he lives with his dreadful Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, he sleeps "in the closet." (I never claimed that secular imagery was anymore subtle than our own!) As Harry becomes more attuned to his satanic powers, he comes "out of the closet" and befriends Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane), an old biker "bear" of lascivious intentions.
If there is any question that Harry is a homo, it is settled once and for all when he flees the dreadfully decorated (even by middle class British standards!) home of his Muggle foster family, the Dursleys. What is the first thing he does? He goes shopping! Making the rounds at the exclusive boutiques of Diagon Alley Outlet Mall, Harry picks out flamboyant accessories for a foppish wardrobe full of flowing gowns and hats so ludicrous they would be unthinkable outside of a black church. Like all Nancy-Boys, he becomes fascinated with 11-inch cylindrical objects he can hold in his hand and spends much of the film flying around with a pole wedged between the cheeks of his bottom. Indeed, the producers of the film were apparently so concerned that Harry sound as fey as possible, when Daniel Radcliffe's voice broke, they dubbed it with the most effeminate voice since Shirley Temple was potty-trained -- the notorious pederast Michael Jackson, using the smirky stage name of Joe Sowerbutts.
Once Harry arrives at Hogwarts, he is free to begin an unbroken daisy chain of homosexual liaisons. Fortunately for Christian viewers, the frantic buggery that is endemic at all British schools with stone floors is mercifully left off-camera. But this does not mean that Harry doesn't devote shocking attention to finding other homosexuals to pair off with. For those of you thinking I am making this up, I direct your attention to page 171 of the book upon which this film was based for the brazen matchmaking exploits of young British homosexuals:
"Professor Flitwick [Harry's "charms" (wink, wink) teacher] put the class into pairs to practice. Harry's partner was Seamus Finnigan, which was a relief, because Neville had been trying to catch his eye."
There's a bit more to read at the link if you want some.
Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) is Jesus Killer Rowling's (and you wonder why she goes by her initials!) homosexual recruitment poster-boy. How do we know he is a depraved homosexual? Well, he's English. Furthermore, when he lives with his dreadful Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, he sleeps "in the closet." (I never claimed that secular imagery was anymore subtle than our own!) As Harry becomes more attuned to his satanic powers, he comes "out of the closet" and befriends Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane), an old biker "bear" of lascivious intentions.
If there is any question that Harry is a homo, it is settled once and for all when he flees the dreadfully decorated (even by middle class British standards!) home of his Muggle foster family, the Dursleys. What is the first thing he does? He goes shopping! Making the rounds at the exclusive boutiques of Diagon Alley Outlet Mall, Harry picks out flamboyant accessories for a foppish wardrobe full of flowing gowns and hats so ludicrous they would be unthinkable outside of a black church. Like all Nancy-Boys, he becomes fascinated with 11-inch cylindrical objects he can hold in his hand and spends much of the film flying around with a pole wedged between the cheeks of his bottom. Indeed, the producers of the film were apparently so concerned that Harry sound as fey as possible, when Daniel Radcliffe's voice broke, they dubbed it with the most effeminate voice since Shirley Temple was potty-trained -- the notorious pederast Michael Jackson, using the smirky stage name of Joe Sowerbutts.
Once Harry arrives at Hogwarts, he is free to begin an unbroken daisy chain of homosexual liaisons. Fortunately for Christian viewers, the frantic buggery that is endemic at all British schools with stone floors is mercifully left off-camera. But this does not mean that Harry doesn't devote shocking attention to finding other homosexuals to pair off with. For those of you thinking I am making this up, I direct your attention to page 171 of the book upon which this film was based for the brazen matchmaking exploits of young British homosexuals:
"Professor Flitwick [Harry's "charms" (wink, wink) teacher] put the class into pairs to practice. Harry's partner was Seamus Finnigan, which was a relief, because Neville had been trying to catch his eye."
There's a bit more to read at the link if you want some.