Title: We Shine Like Stars
Author: Cluegirl
Type: Fiction
Length: Novella -- words.
Main character or Pairing: Ginny/Luna, with a side of Harry/Snape.
Rating: NC17
Canon compliancy: Shooting for canon compliance. If you squint.
Disclaimer: All HP characters are the sole intellectual property of JKRowling, whom I am not. Therefore, I make no profit from this use.
Warnings: Graphic descriptions of childbirth, and some ritual sex magic, but aside from that, it's pretty vanilla.
Summary: Harry is not the only one who must struggle for a sense of self against the expectations of others; Ginny's dreams are heavily mortgaged too. It takes a brush with tragedy to alert her to the very real possibility of losing all, if she does not take matters into her own hands.
Cards Drawn: The Empress, the Ace of Swords reversed, and Strength.
Card Interpretation: The Empress -- satisfaction, a competent woman spinning the future from the present.
The Ace of Swords, reversed -- Words, or the threat of them, used to destroy. A silence that is destructive. A refusal, or inability to speak up when words are needed
Strength -- Power, energy, a calm and soothing conviction. Fearlessness.
Author Notes: Thanks to the League of Extraordinary Betae:
Jenna_Thorn,
emessann,
amanuensis1, and
kaiz. And also, my plot doctor, the ever-patient
aquila_dominus. The title of the song, and the verses used at the chapter heads come from the song Bullet, by Covenant.
~* James Sirius, enter stage left *~
Time is like a bullet from behind: I run for cover just like you
“Where’s…” Ginny paused to sip as the water cup bumped her lip again, but then pushed it away with a shaking hand. “Where’s Harry?”
Two voices sparred outside the door, one jagged and shouting red, the other black, cold, and smooth. They were still at it, then. Next door down, in Ron's room, if they weren't right outside her bedroom door. She huffed a helpless laugh.
“He hasn’t come round yet, love,” Molly answered, and twitched her wand at the wall to silence the raging voices. “Ronnie and your father will get him sorted out soon though. You have another sip of this-"
Ginny pushed it away again and grimaced. "I want..." she gasped, and bore down through a brief ripple of cramp. "Tell Snape to-"
"You don't need potions, Ginevra," her mother scolded setting the glass on the old, chipped night table Ginny'd had since she got her own bedroom at the age of five. "I know it's your first, dear, but I've delivered plenty of babies in my time, not counting the ones I bore myself, and I promise you-"
"Mum-"
"Are doing perfectly well on your own, dear!" As usual, Molly just rolled over. "Besides, we can't have potions in your system when you go to nurse the baby, can we? Heaven knows what that would do to-"
"MUM!" Ginny pushed herself up on her hands, wincing as her lower back spasmed and her hips threatened epic revolt.
"Good heavens, lay back down, child! What do you think you're-" Ginny grabbed her mother's hand in both of her own, and squeezed for all she was worth. It was enough to get Molly's attention, at least.
"I don't want potions," Ginny hissed through her teeth, "I want Snape and Luna to come in here and-"
"You don't need any silly snarfle repelling charms either, Ginevra!" Molly gritted, prizing at Ginny's fingers. "I know it's alarming, but the birthing room is no place for spectators!"
"I don't care!" She tried to sound demanding, insistent, not like a whinging, petulant child, damn it! "I want them in-"
Molly's face reddened, while her lips pressed white. "For Merlin's sake, Ginevra Weasley, the birth of your child warrants a bit more dignity than a common carnival side-show!"
"HOW IS THIS DIGNIFIED, MOTHER?!" Pushing back so hard her weighty flop jostled the entire bed, Ginny spread her arms wide, encompassing her swollen, taut belly; her knees pushed up high and lewdly wide; the damp, stinking rags piled on the floor beside the bed, where she could smell that they were stained with more than just blood; the greasy, rank sweat that plastered her copper hair, and clammy nightgown to every inch of skin. "FUCK DIGNITY, AND FUCK POTIONS, AND FUCK NARGLE REPELLING CHARMS TOO!"
"GINEVRA!"
"SHUT UP, MOTHER!" And oh, didn't that feel good! The shock of those words alone was enough to stop the lecture in its tracks, and Ginny didn't hesitate to capitalize on her mother's shock. "It's my first baby, yeah," she panted, pressing down on a rising ache across her belly, "but it's still my baby, and I'll have whoever I want to have in here beside me for this, and I want Luna and Snape-"
"But Harry's the-"
"And if Harry is still busy with his fainting fit," Ginny continued, concentrating fiercely while she mauled the quilt with her other hand, "then Snape can just prop him up in the corner until I'm...bloody... well... DONE! AAAAARRRRRRHHHH!!!!"
The contraction drew her back like a bow -- shoulders and hips pressed hard to the bedding, head craned, fingers clawing.
"Breathe and push, dear, breathe and push." Hands, cool and dry on her belly, pressing down from above. "Fast and shallow, like I told you... that's right..."
The door opened, and stealing a glance past her mother's scowl, Ginny saw Luna on the threshold, bramble leaves poking out of her hair, a smudge of blackberry juice across her nose, and more beautiful than the sun, the moon, and every star in the sky. "Oh good, I made it back in time," Luna said, fidgeting an armful of long, glossy canes through the doorway.
"Miss Love-"
"Mum..." Ginny growled, and planted a foot firmly on her mother's hand when she made to turn from the bed. "I said Luna can come in."
"Oh, I heard you," Luna soothed, and set her strange bundle aside to come and smooth Ginny's hair off her brow. "I think you broke down the muffliato spell."
Ginny huffed a laugh, and caught Luna's fingers in her own. "Gonna break a lot more in a... ah... hah.... a minute if Ha....ahhh! Harry doesn't get his ars-"
"Ginevra! Stop talking, and focus on your breathing!" Molly barked at her, and Ginny had to fight the urge to squirm as she felt an invading finger search about inside. "You've a little while to go yet," Molly announced, withdrawing her hand after a moment, "so you can't go wearing yourself out already."
"I've brought something that will help with that," Luna murmured, slipping her fingers free of Ginny's sweaty grasp and turning back toward the bundle of twigs, wire and crystals. She gave the contraption a shake, and it snapped out into a rickety, but surprisingly symmetrical pyramid. "Just let me put this over the bed, and-"
"Out of the question!" Molly roared, and Ginny couldn't actually blame her. Some of those canes still had really sharp thorns on.
"Oh, but it will balance her earth energies with the solar focus, see?" Luna insisted, poking her wand at a big rock crystal that hung at the apex. "The arithmantic principles of Laetitia amalgamating with Puella in the ascendant position will-"
Fists on her hips, Molly cut her off. "The arithmantic principles don't have to reach past those great, dirty thorns, young lady, so I'll thank you to-"
"HEY!" Ginny called, not so loud as she'd wanted to, thanks to another cramp wringing her diaphragm into a knot, but it did the trick. "Lu-" Oh, but she was going to slap that baby once he came out, she thought, squirming to try and dislodge his head pressing through her bladder, she was going to slap him so hard! "Luna, can you... ah! Can you use that thing on Harry please?" Ginny panted. "I don't think Sna- AH!"
"Oh, Harry's still out cold," Luna answered, a little perplexed. "And anyway, the Professor's taking care of him, and this is configured for-"
"Please, Luna," she pleaded, "Please help him get Harry in here."
Molly huffed. "There really isn't room for-"
Ginny ignored her, gaze locked with Luna's. "Because I really, really, really need..." She gasped, clutched at the sheets, and got ready for another onslaught. "Need to.... oooooh... to kick Harry Potter's ARSE RIGHT NOWWWWWW!!!"
~* Brambles, Beginnings, and Nargles *~
Ginny was lost.
She had followed the twins through a gap in the fence, because she didn’t deserve to have to chase gnomes when it had been stupid Ronnie who put the toad down her dress first, only Mummy hadn’t seen him, so it was her who got in trouble. Anyway, she knew Fred and George always had the very best adventures when they slipped off together, and maybe if Ronnie didn’t follow this time, and Percy didn’t scold, they would let her have an adventure with them too.
Only they hadn’t. They had disappeared instead. One moment they had been up ahead on a deer track that wound along the willow stream, and the next… nowhere. Not even up in the trees, which she took care to check, remembering how George always said ‘Muggles never think to look up.’ Her brothers had disappeared on her. And what was worse, in her search for them she had lost the deer track, the stream, and all notion of which way led to home.
She didn’t cry - at least, she didn’t cry because she was scared, or anything stupid like that. If she did leak a little bit at the eyes, it was just because she was so angry! Stupid boys, playing stupid tricks like that, when all she wanted was to go along with them! It was mean, was what it was. Mean, and unfair! Why should she always have to get left behind where Mummy could attack with cleaning charms and wet flannels if she so much as got a smudge on her knee? She was as quick as they were, and she could climb way better than any of them, and she was clever and strong too, and all they ever did was treat her like a baby!
Well, she wouldn’t cry like one, she decided, and sniffed mightily. She wiped her face with her sleeve, and tried out one of the words that had got George’s mouth washed out with soap when Mummy overheard him. It felt good on her tongue, and it eased a little of the tight, hot feeling in her chest, so she picked up a stone, heaved it up the hill into a blackberry copse, and shouted it again.
“BUGGER!”
“Oof!” cried the blackberry copse.
Ginny sat down hard. A moment later, a head of yellow hair appeared through the brambles, one grubby hand clapped to her cheek, where a trickle of blood welled up. Ginny held her breath, but in vain - the girl spotted her at once.
“Did you throw that rock?” the girl’s voice was tight, but it sounded more alarmed than angry
“No,” Ginny shook her head at once. The girl tilted her head, blue eyes narrowly considering, and Ginny scrambled for a defense. “It was a nargle,” she said, and hoped the girl didn’t have brothers who blamed their wind on imaginary creatures too. “Didn’t you hear it cuss?”
The blue eyes widened, suddenly enthralled. “It was? You saw it?” When Ginny nodded, the girl pushed her way through the tall grass and plunked herself down beside. “Where did it go? What did it look like?”
Ginny sniffed. “Oh, you know. Nargley. It ran off that way when I came up the hill.” She pointed in a random direction, and changed the subject. “My name’s Ginny Weasley,” she said, offering her hand.
The girl took it eagerly and turned it over, examining the lines she found there. Suddenly conscious of the dirt grubbed into the whorls of skin, Ginny thought about pulling away, but a moment later, the girl looked up with a smile so bright and beautiful that it stole Ginny’s breath quite away.
“Why so you are,” the girl breathed, and threw her arms around Ginny’s shoulders in a hug, “Oh, I’m so happy to see you!”
And that was how they began.
That evening, Ginny followed the stream behind the Lovegood’s wonderful chesspiece house all the way to the swimming pond behind the Burrow. Her mum had her brothers out calling her name, and searching all of Ginny's old favorite hiding places in the lengthening twilight, but Ginny snuck by them all. She even managed to slither through the fence without tearing her mended shirt, and was the only Weasley there to meet Father as he came home from work.
Even all the tears and tellings-off that followed weren't enough to scrape the shine off that triumph. Once all the shouting and hugging was done and they all sat down to dinner, it was Father who asked her, just as if she was a proper grown up, what had she got up to that day.
Ginny saw the glance the twins gave each other, and she knew they’d given her the slip on purpose. She also saw Mummy glance at the pair and press her lips, and knew that one word from her would have the twins up to their ears in gnomes for the rest of the summer. So she looked to her father, smiled proudly and said, “I went to visit my best friend at the Nargle Patch.”
And that was how they began too.
~* Playing at Dark Lords *~
"ARRGH!" Luna cried, leaping from the lea of the bramble patch with hook-claw fingers bared on either side of her snarling face. "I am the lord of dark and spooky things! I have come to murder your little baby, so you just put him down and back away, Lily Potter!"
Ginny stifled a giggle, but managed to clutch Rags tighter to her breast and back away. "Never!" she cried, trying to shake loose her twig-wand from her sleeve. It was thornier than she'd counted on though, and clung fiercely to the fabric. "I'll die first!"
"Oh, now you're just being silly," Luna countered, and the claws became regular hands as they fell to her hips. "What good would your dying do? I'd only go on to kill the baby afterward anyhow." She tsked and shook her head. "I thought you were meant to be the cleverest witch of your age!"
"I'll..." Ginny hadn't thought of that, and it annoyed her. "Well, I’ll just-” she shook her arm fiercely, and in vain, her temper rising as the game went farther and farther awry. "... oh, dash it all, my wand won't come free! You'll be sorry for this, you monster!" she cried, although Luna was looking less and less like a proper monster as each second went by.
"I don't see why," Luna tilted her head and pondered. "Especially since I surely don't know that your little Harry's blanket was made out of Atlantean, hex-proof linen. I don't suppose I'd have cast a curse on him at all if I knew about that."
"Atlantean what?" Ginny blinked, thrown for a moment. "It was?"
"Well, how else could a little baby make a whole Dark Lord disappear? He didn't even have a wand, did he?" When Luna said it that way, it made the whole thing sound a bit rum
"Oh, bother it then," she replied, dropping Rags so she could yank the twig loose with her good hand. It tore a long rent in the thin fabric, and several bloody lines in the skin of her wrist as it came free. Ginny gave up all pretense of the game, and shouted a phrase that Charlie had made her promise faithfully to forget all about, last time he came home from Romania.
"I don't think that's possible, actually," Luna observed, catching Ginny's hand, and pushing back her torn sleeve to lick at the blood-welling cuts.
Hissing at the brief sting, Ginny had to give it up and snicker. "You're mental," she assured her friend as the pink, warm tongue eased the angry red of her scratches. "And you make a rotten Dark Lord, too."
Luna glanced up, unruffled by the judgment. "Well, it was you who said I didn't get to play Lily Potter anymore."
"Because Lily Potter never had a pet Crumble-horned Snordwhack, you big sillyhead!"
"Well of course not! The Snorkack herd would have driven it off straight away. They're very territorial, you know."
And that was how they decided that Beatrice Beauxbatons and Rowena Ravenclaw made a better game than Lily Potter and The Dark Lord. Working out the thee's and thou's and thences went much smoother, and as that summer wore on to autumn, the game evolved to include dragons, broom jousting, witchnapping, blithering humdingers, Quidditch, magic duels with positively wicked new spells, and even one rather dodgy episode of burning at the stake.
It was fun, and it took Ginny's mind off being the only Weasley kid left at home to keep Mum company, but privately she often thought the Lily Potter game would have been even more exciting, if only Luna could have got the details right.
Part 2