[HP Spring Fling 2011] Chance and Choice - A gift for alley_skywalker
Title: Chance and Choice
Author: skriftlig
Recipient: alley_skywalker
Pairing(s): Evan/Severus, Narcissa
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,100
Warnings: Major character death
Summary: It is well-known that Severus Snape played a big part on both wizarding wars, but hardly anything else is known about his life. This is the story of the man I knew.
Author's Notes: Dear prompter: you had some really interesting characters in your sign-up post and I had fun wondering about their lives during the war. I'm not sure I really gave you the Flyleaf quote you wanted, but I tried to deliver the overall spirit of the song. I hope you enjoy reading this. Mods- I am very grateful for your patience. To my fantastic betas: sekai_seme and aj_socks, thank you so so much for the last-minute help. I have changed things since you both saw this, so any remaining mistakes are all mine.
Severus Snape shared two Unbreakable Vows in his lifetime. They were both with me.
One of them he made on my request two years before he died and he swore to protect my son from the Dark Lord's plans. The other was made when we were younger and the force of the Death Eaters was gathering for the first time.
It was an exciting time for me. For all of us, actually. We had finished school with hopes of a new world, where witches and wizards wouldn't have to hide their talents and themselves. We believed in blood purity and magic superiority. Of course, more than a few of us would turn against these ideals before the end. But at the time, we would have died for them.
I met Lucius in his final year at Hogwarts and we we married three years later. Life at The Manor was almost exactly as I expected. Grand, opulent and boring. Lucius was a big supporter of the Dark Lord and we began hosting regular meetings and dinners for other pure-blood families. Lucius tried to convince them to join our cause and I was happy to have some new company.
A year or so later, I saw Severus at one of these evenings. He was just out of school, with long greasy hair that hung over his eyes and a face that looked like it hadn't yet grown into its features. I remember seeing him standing with Lucius against a wall in the drawing room, apart from everyone else. It struck me that they were complete opposites: my husband standing proudly with his white pony-tail swept away from his face, while Severus seemed awkward and allowed his greasy hair to fall over his eyes.
It took many months before Severus and I spoke, though he was always attentive: holding the door for me and standing in my presence. When we did speak he revealed nothing of himself to me and I never asked him for details of his life. I regret that now. As Potter said at his funeral: the real Severus was so deeply hidden that perhaps no one ever knew him at all.
I met several other followers over the coming months. I remember them all (I am a veritable fountain of information on Death Eater members if the Ministry had ever thought to ask me) but one stands out in particular. Evan Rosier, whose father had apparently been at Hogwarts with the Dark Lord himself. Whether it was his family connection or his excellent service that made the Dark Lord favour him, I could not say, but he was certainly treated better than the others. Nor could I say who this favouritism annoyed more- my angry husband or my jealous sister.
We had regular balls - always held at grand houses, often the homes of the Death Eaters' latest Muggle victims- and they provided us with an opportunity to celebrate our growing successes. The Dark Lord was gaining followers, and not just among witches and wizards, and gaining influence in powerful places.
It was the evening of one of these balls when I entered my first Unbreakable Vow with Severus. I'd grown bored with the talk of tactics to get the giants to join our side and I left to explore the house we were using this time. It wasn't very exciting- the pictures in the hallway didn't move and the grandfather clock just told the time. I remember thinking that the main staircase was not even half the size of the one at The Manor, and with a far poorer view, when I heard them. They had left a door from the hallway slightly ajar and not bothered with any wards. I realized later they had probably been too busy.
I walked inside the small pantry. The lights were off so I could only make out shadowed movements and hear the occasional muffled sound. When somebody groaned I lit my wand with a panicked Lumos.
The walls were filled with cupboards and there was a small table in the middle of the room. Two men were standing beside it, very close together. I recognized Severus' long hair even though he was facing away from me, and when the second man moved I also recognized Evan.
Evan's robe was lying on the table and his bare chest rose and fell heavily. It must have taken me a full two minutes before I could tear my eyes away from him to notice the wand in his hand. It was pointed directly at my head and I shut my eyes.
“Imp-”
“No!”
When I opened my eyes, Severus was standing in front of me, his back to Evan, blocking me from view. I couldn't see Evan's face, but Severus' eyes bore into my own. His head was angled down at me and his hair framed his face in a sort of black halo.
“She cannot be allowed to leave,” Evan said dangerously.
Severus just shook his head and continued to stare at me. More strands of black hair fell across his face and stuck there. One of them splayed over his lips and I noticed they were swollen.
“Severus. She is married to Lucius,” Evan's voice became agitated. “He'd betray us in a moment.”
“No.”
Severus turned back to Evan. I thought they would fight. I still don't know who would have won; they were both extremely good duelers. The Dark Lord relied on them heavily to carry out his orders in those days. As it turned out, for Severus at least, so did Dumbledore.
“She won't say anything,” Severus said, turning back to me. “She'll take the Unbreakable Vow.”
I can't remember moving, but suddenly I found myself holding Severus' hand while Evan stood between us, casting strands of light that twisted over our arms. The pantry felt even smaller than before, if that was possible. I swore never to reveal what I'd seen, nor to betray any suspicions I had of their relationship to anyone. I'm sure it's only because they're both dead that I am even able to tell you now.
I watched them carefully from that day onwards. The only times I saw them together were at Death Eater meetings, so I offered to host more of them at the Manor. Lucius was delighted I'd taken a more active role in serving our Lord. However, I was disappointed. I thought I'd see a lingering touch or a lustful look from one of them, but they gave no sign that they were intimate. Now that Potter has revealed Severus' role as a spy and I know the depths of his Occlumency skills, I'm not surprised.
For a while things carried on as they were. The Dark Lord was gaining control of the Ministry and more and more dark creatures joined his followers. I wondered often about Evan and Severus during the tines I didn't see them: what were they doing? Were they still together? What would happen to them if they were ever caught?
At one point, I convinced myself they had run away together. In fact I was almost disappointed to see Severus again at the next meeting. I never mentioned this to him but somehow he guessed what I'd thought anyway. He laughed at me and said it was ridiculous, but I am sure that, for a moment, he entertained the idea. Unfortunately, we got wind of what happened to Regulus Black some weeks later and neither of us ever mentioned the topic again.
I gave birth to my beautiful son in June and asked Severus to be his godfather. With some reluctance he accepted and we spent more time together. Gradually he began to open up to my questions. And one time he even confessed he had been rejected by someone he loved when he was younger. He refused to acknowledge he had feelings for Evan, but I was certain he would soon admit to it.
That never happened. Things changed forever during one Death Eater meeting a few months later.
I remember it was a bleak evening. Thunder storms and heavy rain would have been more suitable for the events that took place that night, but the weather refused to cater to the drama of our lives. Rain fell in a pathetic drizzle, barely visible when I looked out of the windows, but heavy enough for the Death Eaters' boots to leave a damp trail over my entrance hall floor. I was spelling the mess away when I heard raised voices and heavy footsteps approaching and I ducked behind a statue.
“Severus.” Evan's voice was strained and desperate and pleading. I suddenly didn't want to hear this conversation. “Don't. Don't do anything stupid.”
“I have to warn her.”
“Why? There's nothing you can do now. Stay here.”
There was silence for a while, the sound of heavy breathing all that could be heard. When Severus spoke, his voice was bitter.
“You want her to die.”
“No. I just don't want you to waste your life living in some fantasy that she'll suddenly drop her family and come running to you!”
There was a sharp crash of something heavy hitting a wall and Severus suddenly strode to the front door and wrenched it open. I pressed further behind the statue, but he didn't even look my way as he passed me. He stormed down the pathway, black robe billowing out behind him.
“Severus! Wait!”
Evan raced to the open door and paused on the threshold, but Severus didn't even look back. He Apparated as soon as he was outside the wards leaving Evan standing absolutely still for a long time. His left arm was frozen reaching out to the empty space in front of him. When he finally turned and came back inside, it terrified me to look at him; if he'd caught me I don't know what he would have done. But once I saw the look on his face I couldn't look anywhere else. Such pain even the Dark Lord himself couldn't have elicited with a thousand Crucio's. I have believed since that night that Evan Rosier was in deeply love with Severus Snape.
Severus didn't return for weeks and when he did, Evan had already been killed. Aurors were given permission to use Unforgivables on those they suspected of Death Eater activity. Of course they visited The Manor, but Lucius pleaded Imperio and I had never taken the Mark so went unscathed. I heard nothing about Evan until The Prophet reported his death at the hands of Aurors. Instantly I felt a strange need to see his body. I thought that no one else would and somehow, though we never had any particular friendship when he was alive, the fact that I knew his secret made us closer.
I got information quite easily about where Evan and Wilkes had been found and Apparated to the small forest in Devon. I was only wearing my thin indoor cloak and the wind blew right through, chilling me. It was also easy to find the bodies. The Aurors were never subtle, and Alastair Moody must have been the worst of the bunch. Bushes were trampled around the scene and blades of grass stained with red blew in the breeze.
Evan's eyes were still open. He looked like he was gazing far away, watching something in the distance. His arms were outstretched, in a cruel imitation of when he had watched Severus walk away. The snake on his forearm was still, it's black body hanging loosely from empty eye sockets.
It is a cliché, I know, but I really did feel my heart begin to ache then. I can only compare it to the pain I felt when I learnt of Draco's mission in his sixth year at Hogwarts. The weight of Evan's need for Severus in the last moments I had seen him clawed at me and I stumbled back a few steps. I couldn't even bear to close his eyes, I was so desperate to leave that place.
I drew my cloak around me and pictured clearly the safety of my bedroom. I spun, but before I fully disappeared something bright caught my eye. It could have been the reflection of the sun on the leaves, or even the glistening water on a lake that I hadn't noticed earlier. But for a moment, before I left the forest forever, I was absolutely certain it was the shape a silver deer.
Don't forget to leave a comment for our writer! :-D ( Comment Policy)
Author: skriftlig
Recipient: alley_skywalker
Pairing(s): Evan/Severus, Narcissa
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,100
Warnings: Major character death
Summary: It is well-known that Severus Snape played a big part on both wizarding wars, but hardly anything else is known about his life. This is the story of the man I knew.
Author's Notes: Dear prompter: you had some really interesting characters in your sign-up post and I had fun wondering about their lives during the war. I'm not sure I really gave you the Flyleaf quote you wanted, but I tried to deliver the overall spirit of the song. I hope you enjoy reading this. Mods- I am very grateful for your patience. To my fantastic betas: sekai_seme and aj_socks, thank you so so much for the last-minute help. I have changed things since you both saw this, so any remaining mistakes are all mine.
Severus Snape shared two Unbreakable Vows in his lifetime. They were both with me.
One of them he made on my request two years before he died and he swore to protect my son from the Dark Lord's plans. The other was made when we were younger and the force of the Death Eaters was gathering for the first time.
It was an exciting time for me. For all of us, actually. We had finished school with hopes of a new world, where witches and wizards wouldn't have to hide their talents and themselves. We believed in blood purity and magic superiority. Of course, more than a few of us would turn against these ideals before the end. But at the time, we would have died for them.
I met Lucius in his final year at Hogwarts and we we married three years later. Life at The Manor was almost exactly as I expected. Grand, opulent and boring. Lucius was a big supporter of the Dark Lord and we began hosting regular meetings and dinners for other pure-blood families. Lucius tried to convince them to join our cause and I was happy to have some new company.
A year or so later, I saw Severus at one of these evenings. He was just out of school, with long greasy hair that hung over his eyes and a face that looked like it hadn't yet grown into its features. I remember seeing him standing with Lucius against a wall in the drawing room, apart from everyone else. It struck me that they were complete opposites: my husband standing proudly with his white pony-tail swept away from his face, while Severus seemed awkward and allowed his greasy hair to fall over his eyes.
It took many months before Severus and I spoke, though he was always attentive: holding the door for me and standing in my presence. When we did speak he revealed nothing of himself to me and I never asked him for details of his life. I regret that now. As Potter said at his funeral: the real Severus was so deeply hidden that perhaps no one ever knew him at all.
I met several other followers over the coming months. I remember them all (I am a veritable fountain of information on Death Eater members if the Ministry had ever thought to ask me) but one stands out in particular. Evan Rosier, whose father had apparently been at Hogwarts with the Dark Lord himself. Whether it was his family connection or his excellent service that made the Dark Lord favour him, I could not say, but he was certainly treated better than the others. Nor could I say who this favouritism annoyed more- my angry husband or my jealous sister.
We had regular balls - always held at grand houses, often the homes of the Death Eaters' latest Muggle victims- and they provided us with an opportunity to celebrate our growing successes. The Dark Lord was gaining followers, and not just among witches and wizards, and gaining influence in powerful places.
It was the evening of one of these balls when I entered my first Unbreakable Vow with Severus. I'd grown bored with the talk of tactics to get the giants to join our side and I left to explore the house we were using this time. It wasn't very exciting- the pictures in the hallway didn't move and the grandfather clock just told the time. I remember thinking that the main staircase was not even half the size of the one at The Manor, and with a far poorer view, when I heard them. They had left a door from the hallway slightly ajar and not bothered with any wards. I realized later they had probably been too busy.
I walked inside the small pantry. The lights were off so I could only make out shadowed movements and hear the occasional muffled sound. When somebody groaned I lit my wand with a panicked Lumos.
The walls were filled with cupboards and there was a small table in the middle of the room. Two men were standing beside it, very close together. I recognized Severus' long hair even though he was facing away from me, and when the second man moved I also recognized Evan.
Evan's robe was lying on the table and his bare chest rose and fell heavily. It must have taken me a full two minutes before I could tear my eyes away from him to notice the wand in his hand. It was pointed directly at my head and I shut my eyes.
“Imp-”
“No!”
When I opened my eyes, Severus was standing in front of me, his back to Evan, blocking me from view. I couldn't see Evan's face, but Severus' eyes bore into my own. His head was angled down at me and his hair framed his face in a sort of black halo.
“She cannot be allowed to leave,” Evan said dangerously.
Severus just shook his head and continued to stare at me. More strands of black hair fell across his face and stuck there. One of them splayed over his lips and I noticed they were swollen.
“Severus. She is married to Lucius,” Evan's voice became agitated. “He'd betray us in a moment.”
“No.”
Severus turned back to Evan. I thought they would fight. I still don't know who would have won; they were both extremely good duelers. The Dark Lord relied on them heavily to carry out his orders in those days. As it turned out, for Severus at least, so did Dumbledore.
“She won't say anything,” Severus said, turning back to me. “She'll take the Unbreakable Vow.”
I can't remember moving, but suddenly I found myself holding Severus' hand while Evan stood between us, casting strands of light that twisted over our arms. The pantry felt even smaller than before, if that was possible. I swore never to reveal what I'd seen, nor to betray any suspicions I had of their relationship to anyone. I'm sure it's only because they're both dead that I am even able to tell you now.
I watched them carefully from that day onwards. The only times I saw them together were at Death Eater meetings, so I offered to host more of them at the Manor. Lucius was delighted I'd taken a more active role in serving our Lord. However, I was disappointed. I thought I'd see a lingering touch or a lustful look from one of them, but they gave no sign that they were intimate. Now that Potter has revealed Severus' role as a spy and I know the depths of his Occlumency skills, I'm not surprised.
For a while things carried on as they were. The Dark Lord was gaining control of the Ministry and more and more dark creatures joined his followers. I wondered often about Evan and Severus during the tines I didn't see them: what were they doing? Were they still together? What would happen to them if they were ever caught?
At one point, I convinced myself they had run away together. In fact I was almost disappointed to see Severus again at the next meeting. I never mentioned this to him but somehow he guessed what I'd thought anyway. He laughed at me and said it was ridiculous, but I am sure that, for a moment, he entertained the idea. Unfortunately, we got wind of what happened to Regulus Black some weeks later and neither of us ever mentioned the topic again.
I gave birth to my beautiful son in June and asked Severus to be his godfather. With some reluctance he accepted and we spent more time together. Gradually he began to open up to my questions. And one time he even confessed he had been rejected by someone he loved when he was younger. He refused to acknowledge he had feelings for Evan, but I was certain he would soon admit to it.
That never happened. Things changed forever during one Death Eater meeting a few months later.
I remember it was a bleak evening. Thunder storms and heavy rain would have been more suitable for the events that took place that night, but the weather refused to cater to the drama of our lives. Rain fell in a pathetic drizzle, barely visible when I looked out of the windows, but heavy enough for the Death Eaters' boots to leave a damp trail over my entrance hall floor. I was spelling the mess away when I heard raised voices and heavy footsteps approaching and I ducked behind a statue.
“Severus.” Evan's voice was strained and desperate and pleading. I suddenly didn't want to hear this conversation. “Don't. Don't do anything stupid.”
“I have to warn her.”
“Why? There's nothing you can do now. Stay here.”
There was silence for a while, the sound of heavy breathing all that could be heard. When Severus spoke, his voice was bitter.
“You want her to die.”
“No. I just don't want you to waste your life living in some fantasy that she'll suddenly drop her family and come running to you!”
There was a sharp crash of something heavy hitting a wall and Severus suddenly strode to the front door and wrenched it open. I pressed further behind the statue, but he didn't even look my way as he passed me. He stormed down the pathway, black robe billowing out behind him.
“Severus! Wait!”
Evan raced to the open door and paused on the threshold, but Severus didn't even look back. He Apparated as soon as he was outside the wards leaving Evan standing absolutely still for a long time. His left arm was frozen reaching out to the empty space in front of him. When he finally turned and came back inside, it terrified me to look at him; if he'd caught me I don't know what he would have done. But once I saw the look on his face I couldn't look anywhere else. Such pain even the Dark Lord himself couldn't have elicited with a thousand Crucio's. I have believed since that night that Evan Rosier was in deeply love with Severus Snape.
Severus didn't return for weeks and when he did, Evan had already been killed. Aurors were given permission to use Unforgivables on those they suspected of Death Eater activity. Of course they visited The Manor, but Lucius pleaded Imperio and I had never taken the Mark so went unscathed. I heard nothing about Evan until The Prophet reported his death at the hands of Aurors. Instantly I felt a strange need to see his body. I thought that no one else would and somehow, though we never had any particular friendship when he was alive, the fact that I knew his secret made us closer.
I got information quite easily about where Evan and Wilkes had been found and Apparated to the small forest in Devon. I was only wearing my thin indoor cloak and the wind blew right through, chilling me. It was also easy to find the bodies. The Aurors were never subtle, and Alastair Moody must have been the worst of the bunch. Bushes were trampled around the scene and blades of grass stained with red blew in the breeze.
Evan's eyes were still open. He looked like he was gazing far away, watching something in the distance. His arms were outstretched, in a cruel imitation of when he had watched Severus walk away. The snake on his forearm was still, it's black body hanging loosely from empty eye sockets.
It is a cliché, I know, but I really did feel my heart begin to ache then. I can only compare it to the pain I felt when I learnt of Draco's mission in his sixth year at Hogwarts. The weight of Evan's need for Severus in the last moments I had seen him clawed at me and I stumbled back a few steps. I couldn't even bear to close his eyes, I was so desperate to leave that place.
I drew my cloak around me and pictured clearly the safety of my bedroom. I spun, but before I fully disappeared something bright caught my eye. It could have been the reflection of the sun on the leaves, or even the glistening water on a lake that I hadn't noticed earlier. But for a moment, before I left the forest forever, I was absolutely certain it was the shape a silver deer.
Don't forget to leave a comment for our writer! :-D ( Comment Policy)